Do you need game after you've slept with a girl?

[Optimized Life]

• I slept with a girl and she seemed to like me 
• But then I texted her inviting her to come over yesterday 
• She responded saying she had to work 
• ... But she didn't follow up with another text like "Hey How about we meet up tomorrow or hey I'm free on tuesday" 

So is it bad for me to ask her to come over again (the next day after asking her) because it's too needy or ruins the power dynamic? 

Or am I allowed to drop my game after having sex once? Can I just ask a girl out twice in a row do I still need text game

Edited March 28, 2023 by Optimized Life

[universe]

In general the vibe after sex is different and more chill.

But that depends on her and your expectations and the expectations you set.

The laws of physics don't change after the world championship or after you landed a kickflip.

[Roy]

Just meet once a week or 2 weeks. It keeps things exciting and builds anticipation. If you are begging to hang out every opportunity you have free time it's like you don't have a life and that isn't very attractive.

[Leo Gura]

You don't wanna come off as too needy. Let a few days pass, then you can ask her, What are your plans next week?

[Optimized Life]

2 hours ago, Roy said:

Just meet once a week or 2 weeks. It keeps things exciting and builds anticipation. If you are begging to hang out every opportunity you have free time it's like you don't have a life and that isn't very attractive.

Once every 2 weeks seems wayy to big a gap. 

I would think 1/2 times per week minimum or she forgets you exist and another guy is boning her. 

[Optimized Life]

Hmm I have a Second Question 

Here is common scenario : 

• I have good talk with girl outside club, maybe we even make out
• But I can't pull because logistics, the friend ect... 
• I get her number 
• I text her the DAY AFTER "What are you doing today, wanna meet up?" ect.. 
• Every time they Never meet up with me and always just say they're busy 

How should I change this? 

• Text a few days later instead of next day? (E.g 2 days later) 
• Instead of texting "wanna meet up / are you free?" Something else? Like "I am free on wednesday at 7-9PM, want to meet up then?"

Also, if I made out with the girl and she seemed DTF (but couldbn't come home cos of logistics and the friend or soemthing) 

Does that give me free pass to invite her straight over to my place that week, or do I still need to do proper date like with day game?

[Roy]

7 minutes ago, Optimized Life said:

Once every 2 weeks seems wayy to big a gap. 

I would think 1/2 times per week minimum or she forgets you exist and another guy is boning her. 

If you've already slept with her and your worried that within 10 days of being out of your sight she'll be banging another guy, you obviously left a weak impression on her or the lay was bad from her POV. Or it was just a drunken one off/she might be a slut (sorry to say it like that but it's the truth).

The majority of women aren't that disloyal. If you managed to get her to sleep with you and she likes you (believe her), chances are she isn't going to fuck around on you. Women bond/attach A LOT more than men from sex and it makes them more connected.

Your play here is to be stone-cold and have a "I don't give a shit" attitude. Which means not blowing up her phone and prying about when the next instant she is free.

[something_else]

4 hours ago, Optimized Life said:

I have good talk with girl outside club, maybe we even make out

In my experience, women you meet on nights out at a club are really unlikely to want to meet up again if you don't pull on the same night. It might not be anything you did wrong, it's just how it is.

[Vrubel]

4 hours ago, Optimized Life said:

Once every 2 weeks seems wayy to big a gap. 

I would think 1/2 times per week minimum or she forgets you exist and another guy is boning her. 

It actually isn't. Don't be so fearful. After sex, you are on top of the dating power dynamic but by being so fearful you will lose this position. 

[Miguel1]

5 hours ago, something_else said:

In my experience, women you meet on nights out at a club are really unlikely to want to meet up again if you don't pull on the same night. It might not be anything you did wrong, it's just how it is.

Not true.

[something_else]

25 minutes ago, Migue Lonas said:

Not true.

It's a common pattern where a woman shows tons of interest towards a guy on a night out, may even want to go home with him but can't because of logistics, and then seemingly never wants to see them again after that night.

I'm not saying it's impossible to see a girl you met on a night out again if you don't sleep with her or anything, just that it's a notably unlikely.

When you meet someone out a night the passion usually burns quick and fast, which means it also dies fast.

Edited March 28, 2023 by something_else

[meta_male]

10 hours ago, Optimized Life said:

I would think 1/2 times per week minimum or she forgets you exist and another guy is boning her. 

I came from this exact same place of fear a short while ago and pushed her away. As long as you're not exclusive you shouldn't worry about other guys. Take your time and clear your mind and when you're not anxious anymore ask her out again. Two weeks isn't long and she won't forget you.

[The0Self]

When you fully “get/see” the optimal game vibe/mindset (basically just; literally, a full download of: the final permission to… be good enough for any girl on the planet, know that you’re awesome, and do anything you want), within a few days someone close to you will have already asked you what the fuck happened to you, you’ll be so confident (secure). You don’t turn it off.

Edited March 31, 2023 by The0Self

[flowboy]

On 28/03/2023 at 7:01 AM, Optimized Life said:

• "What are you doing today, wanna meet up?" ect.. 
• Every time they Never meet up with me and always just say they're busy 

Because you're saying the same shit-boring low-value thing that every chump says.

Project your personality, don't ask her to provide the content.

Leave her a voice message wherein you casually mention what interesting thing you're up to, already have some positive emotion bubbling that can radiate through your voice, speak close to the mic so she can hear you smile, and drop an idea for something you could do together. Can be funny/ridiculous, or actionable.

Yes, voice messages or even video messages. But CASUAL and UNPOLISHED.

Just treat her as if she's an old buddy you've known for a long time.

And make a suggestion, not a question.

"Would you like to meet up?" is bullshit - communicates low status, like you're looking up to her to lead.

Edited March 31, 2023 by flowboy

[ValiantSalvatore]

On 28.3.2023 at 7:01 AM, Optimized Life said:

Here is common scenario : 

• I have good talk with girl outside club, maybe we even make out
• But I can't pull because logistics, the friend ect... 
• I get her number 
• I text her the DAY AFTER "What are you doing today, wanna meet up?" ect.. 
• Every time they Never meet up with me and always just say they're busy 

A tip that served me here is, as you seem more business like and direct as a persona. Is asking how she enjoyed the night out still.

Maybe make a unique reference to what happend between the two of you or inside the club and be direct tell her... smth akin to:

• You enjoyed the night time with your friends still? I presume you had fun dancing and beign trouble inside of the club.
• Might get response like: Haha yes we still had fun . Maybe feedback to trouble part.
• Let's meet up for some coffee this week (other possible fun suggestion/reference you talked about in the club), how is your schedule this week?

Then riffing of this and Flowboys pattern should be getting you better results as a whole.

The more fine-grained point is not asking, yet making it a direct suggestion, of let's meet up, let's do this, let's go here. Take her on a ride! Giving orientation and direction and leading! This also works with guy friends, if you'd want to be more seen as the leader of the group etc. As well as play your way of clubbing instead of their way of clubbing etc.

Being assertive in that sense, and saying let's do activity XYZ, how's your schedule will 90% of the time give you a more honest response of just. I am busy. Intention and the emotion behind the intention advice. 

Flowboy's advice also sounds very solid. Voice messages do work. 
-----
Full discloser I don't have the most experience outside of online-dating, yet this is a pattern I had when I approached some girls from clubbing and I got their numbers, it's mostly again Flowboy's advice, what I wrote and internal vibe, as well as pictures. 

Yes re-open after a couple days, it can work, yet I would not have to high hopes. It's just a possibility. 2-3 days is a good time frame. 

Edited March 31, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Jwayne]

On 3/28/2023 at 1:01 PM, Optimized Life said:

Hmm I have a Second Question 

Here is common scenario : 

• I have good talk with girl outside club, maybe we even make out
• But I can't pull because logistics, the friend ect... 
• I get her number 
• I text her the DAY AFTER "What are you doing today, wanna meet up?" ect.. 
• Every time they Never meet up with me and always just say they're busy 

How should I change this? 

• Text a few days later instead of next day? (E.g 2 days later) 
• Instead of texting "wanna meet up / are you free?" Something else? Like "I am free on wednesday at 7-9PM, want to meet up then?"

Also, if I made out with the girl and she seemed DTF (but couldbn't come home cos of logistics and the friend or soemthing) 

Does that give me free pass to invite her straight over to my place that week, or do I still need to do proper date like with day game?

Stop going to clubs to meet women. Meet women online or in-person and set up normal dates.

[something_else]

4 hours ago, Jwayne said:

Stop going to clubs to meet women. Meet women online or in-person and set up normal dates.

Depends what you’re looking for. Clubs are unbeatable for hookups and more casual relationships. Maybe not ideal for more serious relationships, but it’s not like that’s impossible either.

As a guy you will be able to meet way better girls in a club than you’ll meet online

[Jwayne]

4 minutes ago, something_else said:

As a guy you will be able to meet way better girls in a club than you’ll meet online

It depends on where you live and what you mean by better.

Many inexperienced guys are going to clubs for what they think will be easy sex when they actually would be more fulfilled by a loving relationship. But all they see in-front of them is their lack of sex and so they dive headfirst into resolving that immediate problem and then end up with other issues as a consequence of their short-sighted, not well-thought out plan.

Edited April 1, 2023 by Jwayne

[Miguel1]

On 3/28/2023 at 5:48 PM, something_else said:

It's a common pattern where a woman shows tons of interest towards a guy on a night out, may even want to go home with him but can't because of logistics, and then seemingly never wants to see them again after that night.

I'm not saying it's impossible to see a girl you met on a night out again if you don't sleep with her or anything, just that it's a notably unlikely.

When you meet someone out a night the passion usually burns quick and fast, which means it also dies fast.

This is because you are relying on passion and pure attraction and completely ignoring emotional connection, especially deep emotional connection.

[Bando]

On 3/27/2023 at 9:44 PM, Optimized Life said:

So is it bad for me to ask her to come over again (the next day after asking her) because it's too needy or ruins the power dynamic? 

 

Plan your next meet ups in person, preferably during pillow talk ex, "what does your schedule look like this week I want us to go check out x place I heard its really fun"

Try to lock in a day and then 2-3 days later send a follow up texting conforming if things are still good for the day you guys scheduled things. Ive found typically after I've slept with a girl on 3-4 different occasions she's "locked in." Try to see her once a week at first, if your doing things right she will be the one to ask you when she can see you more often