Losing my grip on sanity, need help.

[OrangeOak]

On 2023-03-28 at 11:20 AM, flowboy said:

If both parents had an abusive childhood - it's basically unheard of for their child (you) to not incur some sort of childhood trauma - even the subtle kind that you're not aware of.

Yes, parents do their best, but fulfilling all of a child's needs is not something that can be done through will and effort - it's something that emanates from an integrated state of being. Only a fully healed, feeling, non-neurotic parent can fulfil all of a child's needs.

Therefore, don't fall into the trap of skipping over the years of therapy one needs in order to be ready for any kind of enlightenment to take hold in a stable way - this spiritual bypassing is the most common mistake in communities like this.

LSD and marijuana stimulate old childhood and infant pain and make it bubble up - if unrecognised as such, the mind's only defense is to adopt / spin a web of beliefs and ideas, to balance out and compensate for the unrecognised pain that is now there and needs to be "explained" - because a vague, all-encompassing discomfort-that-can-not-be-named is intolerable for the mind. The stronger the pain, the stranger the ideas have to be. This is what happens when people get psychosis after their first trip - but it can also happen in a more subtle way, such as seeking ideology and adopting new beliefs and holding them firmly.

If your ideas and beliefs from Leo's content feel like they are not just a "take it or leave it" body of knowledge, but ideas that are firmly clung to - I suspect that this is what's happened to you as well. You now need these ideas/beliefs to stay sane - simply trying to change or forget them will have adverse effects (insanity). The only way out is through - deal with past pain through regression and crying. If you're not going to get a therapist, then check out my youtube channel and follow the instructions - but I recommend you get a good therapist who is into childhood stuff.

In addition to what others mentioned - live your life, be a person, lay off the spiritual practices for a while - I recommend finding a good Primal, regression or PRI therapist.

Insanity is just the mind desperately compensating for blocked childhood trauma.

The human system prefers even hallucinations and psychosis over becoming conscious of how much certain things from childhood still hurt.

I did have a hunch the acid and weed might've done something. Thank you for your insights, I will into getting a good therapist.

[OrangeOak]

@Carl-Richard What harm could actually come of doing the 5meo? I'm not planning on doing it at all but I'm just curious as to what you think could go wrong if someone in my situation were to do it?