Awaken to Love - 5-MEO-DMT 40mg Fumarate Form Trip Report

[Kingston]

   I've been following Leo's works for years and have done dozens of LSD trips. After having some profound mystical experiences here and there, I still feel like there is something more to discover. So, I finally got myself some 5-MEO-DMT. So far I've done total of 7 trips. The first three trips (10mg, 20mg, and 30mg) were complete failures though.  It's because I plugged way too deep into my butthole. I thought the deeper, the better, but clearly, I was wrong. After some research and trial and error, I learned to plugged only halfway and finally had some profound experiences on the next four trips (20mg, 30mg, 30mg, and 40mg). They all worked like a charm which was so epic that it blew my mind. However, the trip that I'll be mainly emphasis is my 7th trip at 40mg. Personally 40mg would be considered my breakthrough dosage, but keep in mind, everyone has a different tolerance level and generally I don't recommend people trying more than 30mg! And always start with low dose and slowly build it up. Anyway, without further ado, let's dig in.

Substance: 5-Meo-DMT in Fumarate Salt Form

Method: Plugging

Dosage: 40mg

Setting: My bedroom

Time: 7:50 pm 3/24/2023

Trip report:

  Yesterday, I finally had the courage to try 5-meo at 40mg. Since 30mg only produces moderate trip for me, my intuition told me I needed to go higher. So after plugging at around 7:50 pm. I calmly sat on my bed and waited for the effects to kick in.  After 7 or 8 minutes, the effects finally kicked in, and I started to have an uneasy feeling of nausea. I wanted to vomit, but as my consciousness arose in a speed of light, I became too conscious to even care to move and vomit. I just lay down on my bed from seating position and closed my eyes.

  As soon as I closed my eyes, time stopped. I suddenly became conscious that time does not exist. Time is just imagination in this present moment, and this moment is all there is. This moment last eternity. Time is just one of the many elements that make up our human life. There is never time; there is just now. However, this was just the beginning. As I watch my consciousness significantly increased, I became conscious that all my sensory fields are literally made of consciousness. I don't know how to put it into words. I just felt like all my sensory fields started to collapse and merge into each other in a spiral way, and this was a nonstop force that I, as ego, couldn't control, which finally started to made me afraid and worried. Combining with the uneasy nauseous sensation, in my first time during trip, I begged to stop. It just became unpleasant, but weirdly amazing at the same time. I wondered how this could all be possible and was surprised that I never had experienced anything like this during an LSD trip.

  The fear came. I wondered where all this would lead me. This is too much! Then I realized the only thing I can do here is to surrender. So what is actually the act of surrendering? The act of surrendering is just to face the fear, face = give attention to = aware of = conscious of. So I simply became conscious of my fear, the sensation of fear. Then I became conscious that fear itself is also part of consciousness. It's one little facet of consciousness! Everything is consciousness! The only reason I was afraid was that I didn't understand who I really am! I'm not this human self. I'm consciousness! Fear is there as a necessity for the existence of this ego to fool myself into thinking I'm an ego, and fool me thinking that there is really something to be afraid of so I could stay alive. If everything is consciousness, including fear, my sensation, my current room, my breath, my hands, my thoughts, tree, animal, people, drug, psychedelic, etc, then who am I really? I started to wonder.

  As I had this realization, my conscious and sensory fields were merging into each other more and more. It was like a never-ending spiral. It was quite amazing to watch all of this happening, and it felt like it would last for eternity. Finally, the spiral of consciousness consume every part of me, including the image of myself, my memory, my body, and, lastly, my fear. I gave up. I totally gave up. This is the most amazing and yet the most terrifying thing. I died, I literally died. I'm gone, but consciousness remains.......

  Then I realized what all of this collapsing of my ego, the dying process, is all about. This is the process of love. What is love? Love means I'm willing to fully experience suffering, experience fears because these are a part of my consciousness. The only thing that prevents me from realizing love is my fear and my escape and avoidance from fear. Love must be total! Love must be a totality! If you don't accept all the things in this world you hate, you cannot love! What every human being is most afraid of is suffering, fear, torture, and ultimately death! If you can't accept or love these things, you can't really love! By loving suffering, fear, and death, it literally means living through these moments, fully experiencing them until the point you realize you are them because you love them. Love is just the total embrace of everything that is in the consciousness, whatever that is good or bad to your human sense!

  And finally, this spirally emerging process completes. Everything has finally emerged into each other. And what remains is oneness. What remains is just this conscious field. I'm One!!!!!!!  if Me = One, then who am I? Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! As I scream those words out loud! I'm God! I'm God! I'm God!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it! I can't believe it! I screamed my lungs out in pure joy and happiness. And while I was realizing I'm God, my my consciousness started to spirally emerge again! However, this time, my consciousness field imagined orgasm, and the sensation of orgasm told me "I love you." Then my whole consciousness field is suddenly filled with orgasm and starts to merge into each other!

It's literally like this picture below:

  Imagine each little black circle in this picture represents your most amazing orgasm during sex you ever had, and during this moment there are literally infinite numbers of orgasms merging spirally into one. It never stops! This is literally the best possible pleasure you would ever encounter! Infinite high! Infinite orgasm! Infinite love!

  Oh my God! This is infinite love! I'm infinite love! I screamed again. And THIS is my PEAK of realization, my peak of the trip, my peak of pleasure. And it lasts for eternity........ I became Love. I'm Love. Love is infinite orgasm........

 While it literally felt like eternity, and it IS. As my trip end, as my consciousness started to go back to my base line. I fell back into my ego self. Everything slowly returns to normal. However, it left me completely speechless. I'm happy like a child. And I cried. I was lying on my comfy bed for quite some time and just stared at my ceiling, thinking: I'm God. I'm Love. This is the surest thing I know. Not only do I understand I'm God, I become it. I am it. And God is Love.

  So these are all the things I can say about the trip I had yesterday. And now I realize how foolish I was. I had contemplated for years, listened to Leo's content for years, and did a lot of self-development work and did a dozens of LSD Trips. I thought I knew something, but in fact, I knew nothing. The only way to truly know something is by experiencing this crazy realization yourself and coming back. Then you might know a little better.

  Intuitively, I know that this realization of myself as oneness, as God, as love is not the complete God's realization. It's not even close! I have only touched the fingertip of God. This journey has just begun, and I'm optimistic about it all. Now I understand why Leo teaches what he teaches. Now I know why Leo needs to behave like a jerk sometimes on the forum to warn people that they are self-deceiving and foolish. Leo does it for truth. Leo does it for love.

  In short, There's more to become conscious of. The 5-MEO-DMT is truly the God molecule. And my journey toward true God-realization just begin. Thank you, Leo. Thank you for showing me 5-MEO-DMT and for your teachings. I literally listen to your episodes ever day. And they are the solid foundation for me becoming God yesterday. So it's not just the power of psychedelics that matters, but also what you do when you're not on them matters too.

Edited March 27, 2023 by Kingston

[Schizophonia]

what is "an orgasm" ?

Edited March 25, 2023 by Schizophonia

[Grateful Dead]

very cool!! thanks for sharing

[Kingston]

@Schizophonia

Have you ever jerked off? I bet you have.  That peak feeling is orgasm.

And God=Infinite Love = Infinite orgasm!!!

Edited March 25, 2023 by Kingston

[Schizophonia]

3 minutes ago, Kingston said:

@Schizophonia

Have you ever jerked off? I bet you have.  That peak feeling is orgasm.

And God=Infinite Love = Infinite orgasm!!!

I meant the nature of the orgasm.
I just struck while jerking off that it looked like a form of death for a few seconds, I didn't dig deeper than that.

[Kingston]

@Schizophonia

The nature of orgasm is Love.

It seems on the surface that the reason you jerk off is to simply look for pleasure, but metaphysically speaking, the real reason you jerk off is to get a slight taste of God.

When you realize you are God. It also comes with this metaphysical feeling of orgasm. The intensity is literally like the feeling of orgasm on sex times infinity, and it lasts for eternity. 

Edited March 25, 2023 by Kingston

[Kingston]

@acidgoofy 

Thank you!!

[OBEler]

@Kingston epic Trip report!! 

I hope you will Taste one day the feminine Version of 5 meo (5 meo Malt) 

[Leo Gura]

@Kingston You got it

[aurum]

@Kingston Congrats! Awesome report

[axiom]

@Kingston Beautiful.

[Arthogaan]

That is one of the best trips reports I've read here! 

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

I wonder if this experiences have a lasting effects after taking the substance. Are there any permanent changes after a breakthrough?

I am still stuck at the stage of fear of death and loosing control, can’t quite let go for now. My dosage is still very little, vape it.  

 

[Grateful Dead]

3 hours ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

Are there any permanent changes after a breakthrough?

It depends, a major one like op had will change you in my experience. But i've had smaller ones that didn't really change much, if anything.

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

2 hours ago, acidgoofy said:

It depends, a major one like op had will change you in my experience. But i've had smaller ones that didn't really change much, if anything.

Op?

[Grateful Dead]

11 minutes ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

Op?

= original poster, the one who started the topic

[Thought Art]

Great Report! 

You have a beautiful way of describing this experience. I felt like I was reading my own trip report.

Edited March 26, 2023 by Thought Art

[Unlimited]

Thank you for sharing this!

I haven't had such a profound experience with 5-MeO-DMT, but look forward to having it soon.

[Yimpa]

Legendary. Thank you for sharing. Now do it again 

[Yimpa]

On 3/25/2023 at 1:55 PM, Kingston said:

It's literally like this picture below:

Mine looked like this: