How to respond to girl saying "I just broke up with my boyfriend"

[StarStruck]

Dating and mating is about survival and reproduction. In western societies the women chooses which man they want to mate with. Mating is basically “copying” genes. When women choose a mate it is Mother Nature choosing genes in the gene pool. Instinctively they know that those nice guys don’t have a back bone and their children won’t have a back bone if she accepts his seed.  That is why they want a guy like Andrew Tate (but one who sticks around and doesn’t pump and dump) instead of a nice guy with a good heart. I think Emarld is reading into it way too much. The answer is very simple. 

Edited November 29, 2023 by StarStruck

[Twentyfirst]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

I wouldn't buy much of anything from that Pill vs Pill ideology. It takes a few kernels of truth and then weave's a very distorted worldview around those kernels. And it will ultimately get in the way of your ability have a good relationship with an actual woman because you'll only be seeing her through the distorted projection screen of Red Pill ideology.

But the reason why (in a particular instance) a woman might reject a man isn't because she inherently prefers an asshole over a nice guy. That's too simplistic of an explanation, and there are many potential reasons why this dynamic could arise that are more psychological in nature.

One reason is that the woman just isn't interested in the nice guy and doesn't feel that way about him. But she happens to have those feelings for the asshole. It's 100% about feelings.

As a woman, I can have two identical men with identical qualities standing in front of me... and one of those men I'll feel neutral about and the other I'll feel very deeply for. So, the quality of the man doesn't matter that much... it's really about how the woman feels about him.

But the asshole isn't more likely than the nice guy to have women feel that way about him. But women generally need to feel strongly for a man to be interested in him. It isn't like with men where you notice some positive quality (like looks, kindness, etc.) and make the decision based on that. It's very much about chemistry. And if the feelings aren't there, they just aren't there. It doesn't matter how nice the guy is.

But if a woman does have a tendency to frequently be attracted to assholes, then there's probably some internal familial pattern happening.

For example, if a woman was raised by a mother or father who was aloof who she didn't get validation or attention from... she may go seeking for a partner who's equally aloof. This enables her to repeat the dynamic from her parents where her partner is aloof. And the hope deep down is that if she can get the aloof guy to give her love, then it is the same thing as her aloof parents giving her love. And because of this dynamic, she feels discontent when she's in a relationship with a guy who will give her the love freely... thus leading her to reject what she really needs in favor of playing out familiar patterns.

And that's just one example among many.

But the issue with Red Pill is that it weaves a lot of lies and illusions around a few truths. And it creates a distorted vision of what human relationships are and why people choose the people they choose. And they often default to more sciencey sounding biological interpretations of preferences.

But the reality is that people are far more influenced by their psychology than they are by their biology when it comes to who they're attracted to and who they end up in a relationship with.

Thanks for the explanation

So why wouldn't nice guys turn into assholes when they realize that the reward structure is generally geared toward that? It's very hard to compete with assholes and narcs when it comes to emotions but we outcompete them in every other way. Why do women cry when they are the ones who are giving the reward/punishments. For example if every woman kept her legs closed until marriage men would have no choice but no commit to get sex because women are the ones that set the standard 

[Jacob Morres]

@Emerald

 I think in terms of attraction its more about conventionally masculine qualities – confidence, leadership, assertiveness, humor etc. 

it's the same with women too. If a girl is assertive, outspoken, aggressive (even ambitious too), it doesn't always fit the classic 'feminine' image. But I think that's changing tho

I don't think girls (generally) dislike being kind, empathetic, sensitive etc. But it doesn't have the sexual attractive pull of what they're looking for in a 'man'

If ur speaking non generally it doesn't matter, theres someone for everyone 

 

Edited November 30, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[Mada_]

Once I said “I’m not sorry at all, you’re gorgeous” she melted lol.

we had dinner and made out after the next week, we weren’t compatible in the end but she truly was gorgeous