How to respond to girl saying "I just broke up with my boyfriend"

[NoSelfSelf]

@RebornConsciousness Its possible to not feel bad after rejection 100%,but the problem is that you are rejecting yourself after she says no ,which is the cause of you feeling bad,you tell yourself that you are not good enough and deteremening her reaction whit how succesful you are and that shes the one defining you.

So deeper thing is that if you would know yourself really well,defined yourself based on who you really are,stop living in the outside world of externals where situations and experience define who you are(this is a deeper topic).

Then you would be secure in who you are.After that you would recognize that she has right to say no,she has her own belifes,views,povs that has nothing to do with you,what she does is none of your business after you do your thing because she has right to say and do whatever she wants to do and you can only asses your moves to see if you think you did something wrong not based on her reaction but based on your assesment and level of understanding...

[Jacob Morres]

@RebornConsciousness yeah 100% it depends on how you interpret the scenario 

You can def get much better at it 

Edited March 25, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[Emerald]

On 3/24/2023 at 6:02 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

@Emerald Why would i ask such a queastion when i know she is great because she talks to me(im the centar of the experience) and all the connection that is experienced between humans is surface level stuff you never met someone that tapped your core, so its like guy connecting to the make up and woman connecting to some fasade of a personality constructed to get you...

I’m not entirely sure what you’re saying here.

But am I correct in my understanding that you mean that you wouldn’t ask a woman how she’s doing because you already know she’s doing great.

And you know she’s doing great because you’re at the center of the conversational experience… and so because she is speaking with you, you know that she’s having a good time.

And you’re saying that all conversations between human beings are surface level.

And then claiming that I’ve never met a guy that I have felt moved by.

And that men connect to the deeper “make up” of the woman.

But women are only connecting to the facade that men are putting on to attract the woman.

Did I interpret this in the way that you meant it?

[Bando]

On 3/24/2023 at 7:44 PM, something_else said:

It’s especially bad if you talk quite arrogantly about it, which I sometimes see you do. That’s why I felt it was necessary to comment.

I am really sorry if this comes across as aggressive, I just think that you should not give advice without some solid experience.

Ive also made this exact point a while ago, this is a pattern he seems to have in his posts on this part of the forum. The problem with him is that he speaks with authority on this subject when he has little real world experience, doesn't even try to have humility considering all of his advice is just low quality ,half baked red-pill ideas mixed in with some woo-woo nonsense.  

All this theory goes in the gutter when you actually go out and consistently meet women. People with experience can sense this and have every right to call him out, asking women "how their doing" is fine, having women friends is fine, I'm am genuinely confused how he was promoted to moderator status with the replies he often gives, maybe he has higher quality posts in a different part of this forum because its certainly not found here. Theres no problem with being a theory junkie but don't speak from a position of authority when you don't have real world exp, have humility.
This is directed at @NoSelfSelf in case it wasn't clear enough.

@StarStruck To answer your question, make a light hearted joke about her splitting with her boyfriend and then change the topic, it could be an objection or she really could have went through a split, either way its not a good place to build off of.

Keep building rapport and comfort through small talk and look for a hook point then focus on building attraction, by being polarising, humor, kino, sexual innuendos, ect , try to make plans for a potential meeting in the future and go for the number. Thats the frame work me and my wings use when we go out at night, the same process applies for day game but tone it down abit. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Emerald First 2 points yes,no i said all connections are surface level between people in general,no you were moved by someone again on surfacelevel ,but not at the level of connection that is on a deep level,because people are operating from the surface level.

No men(not real men)usually connect with actual make up on the womans face her "beauty" that is actually fasade of a make up and eyeliner etc.

Yes and you dont know the difference because you havent met someone like that before you only know what you experienced on the surface level.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Bando You can have your own opinion about what im speaking,which you dont even understand what im talking about.Its not red pill stuff because red pill is about women,game has nothing to do with women.It sounds arrogant because level of understanding here is red pill stuff,nice guy simp stuff,rsd cult manipulation.

When im talking im not even having women in mind.

All of that is fine yes you can also pay her to have sex with dinners you can do whatever.I asked why would you ask that because there is a reason for every move you make but this is too woo-woo for you.

Cool your advice is being brainwashed by RSD play by play and you think about women first cool no wonder you dont understand what im saying.

@Leo Gura can remove my mod status so i dont need to explain myself to you guys who are so sensitive and base everything around a woman and for my world life experience i will never talk about it publicly but its not on a level of the theory i have i agreed on that.You guys dont realize that you are selling your soul to women so yoir experiences are nothing to me.Except leo i havent heard anyone say anything of value here its just desperate,ill do anything,be anything for a woman because nobody here has Game...

[Raze]

Get her to vent about her ex

[something_else]

On 25/03/2023 at 6:37 AM, NoSelfSelf said:

Now you admit that your direct experience is based not on direct experience but by the validation of a woman,if you get her or not and if she doesnt you feel like something bad happend.You are trying to sleep with her without that you wont be even doing it. Also that you manipulate and you know you cant match the ideal version you present to them let me hear i hope its not too agressive ;)...

I don’t even know what you are trying to say here.

Edited March 26, 2023 by something_else

[Emerald]

21 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Emerald First 2 points yes,no i said all connections are surface level between people in general,no you were moved by someone again on surfacelevel ,but not at the level of connection that is on a deep level,because people are operating from the surface level.

No men(not real men)usually connect with actual make up on the womans face her "beauty" that is actually fasade of a make up and eyeliner etc.

Yes and you dont know the difference because you havent met someone like that before you only know what you experienced on the surface level.

Have you ever had a relationship with someone before?

I feel like you’re going towards this notion that all human interactions are shallow because you’ve never had a real relationship before. And perhaps your friendships haven’t even been that deep.

Relationships can actually go extremely deep.

For example, my relationship to my husband is really quite deep because we’ve seen each other almost every day for the past 13 years.

And we’ve been separated for 4 of them. But the relationship still deepens as we live and raise our kids together.

And in my other romantic relationships, things have gotten deep fairly quickly as we shared more experiences, conversations, and personality facets with one another.

My advice would be to seek out relationships and friendships that can give you deeper wisdom into what it means to relate.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Emerald No,women hate me,last woman i spoke to told me that she dreamt about me having a 12 year old face in adult body ?.

I dont take friendships lightly so i there is not many real friends i had,love to be by myself reading books on relationships and talking about it on the internet ?

Yeah they can go really deep depending on how deep are you connected with your own self,which my point was originally not many people are.

If the connection is that deep then why would there be divorce(i dont really care about personal stuff just dont make sense to me)...

Will do that ill start asking people how are they doing ? 

[Devin]

       The notion people connect on a deep level seems so airy fairy to me, if you both have the ability to "connect on a deeper level" then you already are, it doesn't require interaction, anyone beyond surface level is already deeply connected to anyone without any "deep conversations".

[supremeyingyang]

3 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

I dont take friendships lightly so i there is not many real friends i had,love to be by myself reading books on relationships and talking about it on the internet ?

Good that you are in peace with that, I was questioning myself the same things as @Emerald . If you know what you want in life, nobody can make you feel bad to comply to whatever standard. I like it, when people are original.

[StarStruck]

Authenticity is the gold standard in relationships. 

You can better be a raging dick and be authentic than a flaccid nice guy with no oomph. 

So in that sense I respect NoSelfSelf. 

[Danioover9000]

@StarStruck

11 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Authenticity is the gold standard in relationships. 

You can better be a raging dick and be authentic than a flaccid nice guy with no oomph. 

So in that sense I respect NoSelfSelf. 

   There's once a guy and gal in a grocery store, shopping. The guy asks the gal who's checking the Veggies aisle "Hey, I'm doing some home cooking. Is there any mushroom tips you can give me?"

   Gal: "Sure! If you're cooking Portobello, wash fully and grill with Pork and Oregano. Chestnuts needs squeezing gently, and wrapped with garlic and flouring and deep fried vigorously. Shitake are better of bathing in hot baths, then steamed and flavored with wine or Sake. Finally you can have a side of Cordy Sep fungus, or as a tea, to complete this big meaty fine meal for the family to be!"

[Emerald]

18 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Emerald No,women hate me,last woman i spoke to told me that she dreamt about me having a 12 year old face in adult body ?.

I dont take friendships lightly so i there is not many real friends i had,love to be by myself reading books on relationships and talking about it on the internet ?

Yeah they can go really deep depending on how deep are you connected with your own self,which my point was originally not many people are.

If the connection is that deep then why would there be divorce(i dont really care about personal stuff just dont make sense to me)...

Will do that ill start asking people how are they doing ? 

A deep connection doesn’t necessarily mean a compatible romantic relationship that serves both partners. A deep connection will arise simply from living life together like any other familial bond.

As far as the separation goes, things are much better between him and I as friends and co-parents. I was really unhappy in the relationship.

And I’ve opted for the past several years to still live together despite our separation so that we can see our kids every day and not miss out on the family  dynamic.

Now in terms of relationships in general…

Once you get past the initial attraction stage… things get less exciting but they grow a lot deeper. “Still waters run deep” is a good quote for describing it.

So, anything that requires a significant amount of “game” past the initial attraction stage will just get in the way of that deepening because game is about creating excitement and intrigue… but real relationship is markedly uneventful.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Emerald Game is not something you have then it turns off,game is the whole person if that person is exciting then it will be throughout relationship,if that person is deep he will be always deep.

If the things suddenly stop and become stale its because that person was using a fasade of looking like that person to draw you in,thats why i said you got attracted to the fasade of learned practiced behaviour that that person is actually not.Game cant stop because game is not about a woman its about a man who he is,thats why if a person is doing things for a woman and having her in mind and not himself hes manipulating right from the bat,its all about me i am who i am and i made my own life around me, you are the one accompanying me so there is no stopping and its not just the attraction phase its all phases.This is common sense when you think about it...

[integral]

When she tells you she broke up with her boyfriend she wants people to understand her struggle and empathise, she might also have alternative motives to seduce you as a replacement if your not a friend-zone type of male. 

Edited March 29, 2023 by integral

[Twentyfirst]

@Emerald Hey this is off topic but I found your posts and looked through old points you had about dating and mating. You make some good points but seem blue pill. I want to better understand where you're coming from but I want to know your foundation. You do know that girls will reject nice guys for assholes then complain about it later right? Cause that would help make sense of your perspective 

[Twentyfirst]

On 3/28/2023 at 7:31 AM, Emerald said:

A deep connection doesn’t necessarily mean a compatible romantic relationship that serves both partners. A deep connection will arise simply from living life together like any other familial bond.

As far as the separation goes, things are much better between him and I as friends and co-parents. I was really unhappy in the relationship.

And I’ve opted for the past several years to still live together despite our separation so that we can see our kids every day and not miss out on the family  dynamic.

Now in terms of relationships in general…

Once you get past the initial attraction stage… things get less exciting but they grow a lot deeper. “Still waters run deep” is a good quote for describing it.

So, anything that requires a significant amount of “game” past the initial attraction stage will just get in the way of that deepening because game is about creating excitement and intrigue… but real relationship is markedly uneventful.

While you were separated for those 4 years did you hook up with other guys?

[Emerald]

On 11/27/2023 at 11:04 AM, Twentyfirst said:

@Emerald Hey this is off topic but I found your posts and looked through old points you had about dating and mating. You make some good points but seem blue pill. I want to better understand where you're coming from but I want to know your foundation. You do know that girls will reject nice guys for assholes then complain about it later right? Cause that would help make sense of your perspective 

I wouldn't buy much of anything from that Pill vs Pill ideology. It takes a few kernels of truth and then weave's a very distorted worldview around those kernels. And it will ultimately get in the way of your ability have a good relationship with an actual woman because you'll only be seeing her through the distorted projection screen of Red Pill ideology.

But the reason why (in a particular instance) a woman might reject a man isn't because she inherently prefers an asshole over a nice guy. That's too simplistic of an explanation, and there are many potential reasons why this dynamic could arise that are more psychological in nature.

One reason is that the woman just isn't interested in the nice guy and doesn't feel that way about him. But she happens to have those feelings for the asshole. It's 100% about feelings.

As a woman, I can have two identical men with identical qualities standing in front of me... and one of those men I'll feel neutral about and the other I'll feel very deeply for. So, the quality of the man doesn't matter that much... it's really about how the woman feels about him.

But the asshole isn't more likely than the nice guy to have women feel that way about him. But women generally need to feel strongly for a man to be interested in him. It isn't like with men where you notice some positive quality (like looks, kindness, etc.) and make the decision based on that. It's very much about chemistry. And if the feelings aren't there, they just aren't there. It doesn't matter how nice the guy is.

But if a woman does have a tendency to frequently be attracted to assholes, then there's probably some internal familial pattern happening.

For example, if a woman was raised by a mother or father who was aloof who she didn't get validation or attention from... she may go seeking for a partner who's equally aloof. This enables her to repeat the dynamic from her parents where her partner is aloof. And the hope deep down is that if she can get the aloof guy to give her love, then it is the same thing as her aloof parents giving her love. And because of this dynamic, she feels discontent when she's in a relationship with a guy who will give her the love freely... thus leading her to reject what she really needs in favor of playing out familiar patterns.

And that's just one example among many.

But the issue with Red Pill is that it weaves a lot of lies and illusions around a few truths. And it creates a distorted vision of what human relationships are and why people choose the people they choose. And they often default to more sciencey sounding biological interpretations of preferences.

But the reality is that people are far more influenced by their psychology than they are by their biology when it comes to who they're attracted to and who they end up in a relationship with.