Meditation, Weight Loss/health And Negative Thinking Spirals

[spinderella]

Hi all 

I'm new to the forums and Life Purpose course, but am not new to meditation. I've been "practicing" for years on a relatively consistent basis, though not every day. I notice that I have such incredible negative thinking patterns. I have almost lost hope that things will get better at this point. Often I think that I just want to lay in bed and eat Cadbury cream eggs all day. I'm now 33, and tell myself that who cares...it's all going to be downhill from here. No matter what happens in my life I probably won't be happy. Etc etc etc. 

These kind of thoughts spiral and are incredibly difficult to stop. I've tried listening to them and doing nothing, I've tried countering them, I've tried ignoring them, but they pull me back and I believe them with such certainty that it feels impossible.

I meditate and have monkey mind the entire time, unable to focus on much of anything and I have been trying for quite a long period of time (a few years).

There have been a few times in my life where a meditation really moved me,  it its few and far between.

Has anyone else experienced this?

im a former athlete and have been literally eating Cadbury cream eggs and laying in bed...no consistent workout, eating crap all the time....I think that's a pretty real distraction. Now hating my body and how I look is another big distraction from building my life.

I can only think that focusing on  holding a healthier lifestyle right now, and integrating meditation into that, is where I should start.  My job is crazy demanding  and high pressure (I work in medical sales), so I'm on the road a lot with an unpredictable schedule and this has been my reason and excuse.  

Heres what I'm going to do.  I'm going to make a soup today, and eat a lot of it.  Eliminate caffeine which is going to hurt my soul and give me temporary headaches.  I'm going to buy a scale.  I'm going to work out at least half an hour every morning, 15 mins of cardio 15 mins of something else.  Every day before I leave the house for any reason (which is very hard when I have to leave at 5:30 some days).  No alcohol except on the weekend with my bf if we want a beer.  That's where I will start. 

But then my brain says "start tomorrow, you already had a cream egg for breakfast, just stay in bed today" and "you have tried this a hundred times before.  What's different now?  Nothing.  Get ready to fail yet again".  

I sometiems wonder if me trying to lose weight hundreds of times over the years has eroded my belief in my ability to do so.  I don't know HOW to do the inner work to fix it. 

/Tldr: @Leo Gura (I will be star struck if he replies!) and others - my question is this: how do I ACTUALLY change my negative self destructive thinking so that I can achieve the goals I want for myself?  I try to meditate (and have for years) and end up downward spiraling throughout. Nothing really seems to help. I want to change careers, allow myself to be happy,  and get a fit healthy body, among of course many other things. What do I actually DO to change my mindset. Just saying "change your mindset" doesn't HELP if I dont know how to actually DO that. 

Thanks everybody. 

-spin

Edited March 11, 2017 by spinderella

[Hero in progress]

@spinderella

Your in quite a dream

[spinderella]

29 minutes ago, Callum A said:

@spinderella

Your in quite a dream

What does that mean?

[Echoes]

@spinderella You have to investigate deeply into your core beliefs. Trace your negative thinking back to their root assumption about the world. You have a whole web of unconscious beliefs and assumption about you and the world in general, and the thoughts that appear in your awareness are only the excesses or consequences of that fundamental world view. Once you found the root, you can FEEL it, release it, and change it. To only look at the thoughts that appear in your awareness is not enough, because as long as the root thoughts are there, they will return over and over again and pull you back into their gravitational energy.

[Hero in progress]

@spinderella @spinderella

Its just a joke to myself, you had to be there to get it don't worry about it.

Just try being more present, root yourself in the present moment and enjoy it, enjoy your life stop worrying about it so much, do what you enjoy, if you like working out and staying fit cool, do that. Don't get so entangled in your self agenda & life story because they are creating conflict for you. 

In other words

 

[spinderella]

22 minutes ago, Echoes said:

@spinderella You have to investigate deeply into your core beliefs. Trace your negative thinking back to their root assumption about the world. You have a whole web of unconscious beliefs and assumption about you and the world in general, and the thoughts that appear in your awareness are only the excesses or consequences of that fundamental world view. Once you found the root, you can FEEL it, release it, and change it. To only look at the thoughts that appear in your awareness is not enough, because as long as the root thoughts are there, they will return over and over again and pull you back into their gravitational energy.

@Echoes all that makes sense, my question is about the HOW. how exactly do I DO that?

[Nahm]

You're wrestling with the nonphysical (mind). Stop.

Make it physical. Make a dream / vision board, it works. Hang it where you see it everyday. 

In meditation, when thoughts arise, return your focus to your breathing, it works over time. 

Buy clothes that are the size you want to get to with your weight loss, and hang them where you will see them everyday.

Watch videos about what you want.Whatch excercise videos. If you want to stop eating sugar, watch sugar documentaries, etc. 

This is all easier than how you've been going about it I think.

Let it be easier.

Good luck!!!

 

 

[Echoes]

3 hours ago, spinderella said:

@Echoes all that makes sense, my question is about the HOW. how exactly do I DO that?

Sit and focus your awareness on the feelings that your thoughts generate. Focus on these feelings and dive into them, until you hit the root. Example: When you have the recurring thought "No matter what happens in my life I probably won't be happy" you maybe reveal an underlying, deeper thought/conviction about reality like "I don't deserve happiness, I am defective" or "external circumstances (like age for example) have the power to decide if I am at peace with myself or not"

Suffering originates because you don't accept reality as it is. And this not-accepting may not be fully conscious to you now, but lies on a deeper, unconscious level. You have to look for this source of non-acceptance. You have to first accept your current situation fully before a conscious change and a productive journey towards your goals is possible. 

[cetus]