Blessed with a Curse

[Stratos]

Good evening all,

My name is Stratos, and I am a student that soon finishes his academic career. I am writing this message because i require assistance upon the matter of addiction. I am aware that ther are many topics concerning the subject but I would like to make some more remarks.

For my good luck (or not) i happen to be a very attractive male. At the same time, i have been blessed with the ability to articulate speech on very high levels and engage conversation of philosophical nature quite naturally. I am also quite organized which can be observed by my ability to finish my Master's at 22. I speak 3 languages and i have been doing martial arts for a decade now. I’m clean, i know how to cook well and people often come to me for advice. Even older people...

However, i am an addict. Technically i am not yet because i am quite young. However, i understand that my personality is prone to addiction and in 10 years from now i will definitely be. I consume large quantities of alcohol in one sitting (750 ml of spirit) without getting hangover. I smoke enormous amounts of cannabis and also indulge myself in other substances.

I have tried to stop numerous of times but fail repeatedly. I don’t know how to discipline myself when it comes to substances which is weird if you take into account my martial arts training. I also sometimes find myself giving excuses to me so i can drink/smoke. "Since i am so good in all other areas it is ok to drink/smoke." I have been going back and fourth with this issue for years..

 

I don’t know what to do. I feel that i am doomed to suffer from addiction for the rest of my life. I have considered going to a Buddhist temple for a few years to get away from everything but i feel that fleeing society is not the right choice yet. I am still building my future and i know i have many things to provide society before i flee...

Could you guys give me some advice on how to combat this issue?

[Ulax]

@Stratos Here's a perspective on addiction that I like:

 

[Salvijus]

57 minutes ago, Stratos said:

I have considered going to a Buddhist temple 

U can just attend a 10-30day meditation retreat of some sort. Will it solve all your problems? Idk, but it's a good step in a right direction at least.

Another good step in the right direction is to have some kind of spiritual path to hang on to. That could get u out of it in the long run. Not just alcohol but all the problems of life.

Also since u like tai chi. I wish to share this impressive internal alchemy/taichi teacher who can offer u the whole package: spirituality, disciple, retreats etc. Perhaps you'll find it interesting.

 

Edited March 23, 2023 by Salvijus

[Stratos]

@Ulax thanks a lot, truly.

[Stratos]

@Salvijus i will take it into consideration when i finish my thesis in a couple of months. i was planning of going to mexico but i would rather attend a retreat..

[Brandon Nankivell]

Kudos to you for reaching out for support ?

Let's get truthful so you can not just combat the issue, but solve it for good if you're open to it ❤️

You'll get the most out of this if you are honest with yourself and set aside time to carefully reflect on each response.

Don't skim read and don't always go with the first answer in your head!

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i am an addict. Technically i am not yet because i am quite young.

Are you sure you're not?

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in 10 years from now i will definitely be

If you keep telling yourself that, indeed!

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I have tried to stop numerous of times but fail repeatedly

Great job on giving it a go. You haven't failed, you've made an attempt and didn't get your desired result yet.

What was the thought that entered your mind to take another swig of alcohol or smoke that blunt again?

Was it a helpful thought or non-helpful thought?

Would you like to listen to that thought next time you feel like a swig?

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I don’t know how to discipline myself when it comes to substances

You do, but you don't want to.

You want the substance more than you want to discipline yourself to not have the substance.

The substance has made a big impression on your subconscious, which has you feeling it's very difficult to give up, but it is possible.

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I don’t know what to do.

Avoid this language like the plague. It will never lead you to a solution.

Try: "I would like to know what I can do".

Quote

I feel that i am doomed to suffer from addiction for the rest of my life.

This is psychological fear speaking. It isn't necessary. Don't listen to it.

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I have considered going to a Buddhist temple for a few years to get away from everything but i feel that fleeing society is not the right choice yet.

Indeed, this is escapism and will not solve your problem.

The key is to want to give up alcohol and smoking more than you want to keep doing it, but first you have to get honest and admit to yourself, and really feel it, that you want to keep doing it.

You keep doing it because there is enough benefit to you to continue it.

So consider the pros and cons of continuing the habit, versus giving it up. Set aside sufficient time to do this.

If at the end of it you still see more benefit in continuing the habit, then think harder! Or feel free to ask for further support.

Would be great to hear from you if this helps 

Edited March 27, 2023 by Brandon Nankivell
left big chunk in it that wasn't needed

[Princess Arabia]

13 minutes ago, Brandon Nankivell said:

Kudos to you for reaching out for support ?

Let's get truthful so you can not just combat the issue, but solve it for good if you're open to it ❤️

You'll get the most out of this if you are honest with yourself and set aside time to carefully reflect on each response.

Don't skim read and don't always go with the first answer in your head!

Are you sure you're not?

If you keep telling yourself that, indeed!

Great job on giving it a go. You haven't failed, you've made an attempt and didn't get your desired result yet.

What was the thought that entered your mind to take another swig of alcohol or smoke that blunt again?

Was it a helpful thought or non-helpful thought?

Would you like to listen to that thought next time you feel like a swig?

You do, but you don't want to.

You want the substance more than you want to discipline yourself to not have the substance.

The substance has made a big impression on your subconscious, which has you feeling it's very difficult to give up, but it is possible.

Avoid this language like the plague. It will never lead you to a solution.

Try: "I would like to know what I can do".

This is psychological fear speaking. It isn't necessary. Don't listen to it.

Indeed, this is escapism and will not solve your problem.

The key is to want to give up alcohol and smoking more than you want to keep doing it, but first you have to get honest and admit to yourself, and really feel it, that you want to keep doing it.

You keep doing it because there is enough benefit to you to continue it.

So consider the pros and cons of continuing the habit, versus giving it up. Set aside sufficient time to do this.

If at the end of it you still see more benefit in continuing the habit, then think harder! Or feel free to ask for further support.

Would be great to hear from you if this helps 

Very nice. I like the way you broke it apart and dissected it. I like your responses. They were thought out and non-judgmental. Kudos. 

[Zion]

As someone who relates heavily to you, by matter of being prone to addiction.

The way to relieve addiction is to change your understanding of:

- What addiction is

- What procrastination is

- What discipline is

Through experience, patience, & deliberate practice. 

Here's my new-found understandings of these things since relieving several addictions I struggled with for most of my life:

* Addiction: Addiction surrounds you already as everything you do. You're addicted to something either way. Love is arguably an addiction to that which you favor in life. It's a matter of how much you're addicted to something. Ask yourself; "why am I more addicted to this more so than other things?" "What is so special about this thing I'm addicted to?" Genuinely looking for a truthful answer. 

* Procrastination: Procrastination is underdeveloped self-discipline. Notice that you have some things that you are good at disciplining to; ie drinking alcohol. But other things, you struggle to discipline as much. Asking yourself "Why" in this scenario is helpful, but only helpful for partial understanding of the unwanted addiction you face. If you want to know why you are addicted to something truthfully, you must practice self-discipline; looking for other methods to change your addiction beforehand is futile as it either doesn't work or gives you very unsatisfactory temporary results.

* Discipline: Theres a quote I love that changed my perspective on discipline a while back; "Discipline will take you places motivation can't". Self-discipline doesn't require motivation; it is what creates motivation. If you consistently practice discipline, even with potential hurdles along the way, you will learn why it is important to relieving & understanding your addiction. The discipline will become like a habit that you've always had. It will also force you to replace the unwanted addiction with a favorable one that is healthy to you; as you will naturally gravitate towards something in exchange when first starting self-discipline. What self-discipline reveals is that you are able to trust yourself, that you respect yourself, as before; the addiction was the excuse you used to justify your lack of self-trust. It's quite ironic & backwards, the mind is remarkably good at sticking to addiction/comfort for sake of comfort & habit, but the one area it struggles to give a worthy excuse to is discipline. Because discipline is an in-the-moment thing: you either do it or you don't. That moment may feel as though it lasts for a while at first, but discipline takes care of that. When you have that thought-process of "I'll do it later" or "I'll stop tomorrow" or "Just this once" or "Just one more" or "I'll have to ____ anyways, so I might as well" etc, AKA; of procrastination, you need to practice seeing & feeling the craving in your mind & doing nothing about it; just seeing it, acknowledging it, & letting it be, without entertaining it's practicality. It's like when you're working out; feeling the toughness & difficulty of it, acknowledging it, & still pushing on for the sake of pushing on; doing it anyways. You have to do it for sake of discipline, there's no way around it. Discipline is self-trust, built it & you will be unstoppable with anything you put your mind to or don't put your mind to.