Understanding OCD: how OCD really works

[LSD-Rumi]

I had a very personal and difficult experience with this particular mental illness and it was very severe type of OCD. The one I was dealing with is called Pure O OCD which means pure obsessions or obssesive thoughts only. The beginning of the disease is very subtle, you don't notice it until it had already taken over your life.

For me it all began when I started doing philosophy and personal development. I loved philosophy so much in that period, my whole life was revolving about doing philosophy. I used to enjoy it so much and get so much insights that was changing my whole life to the better, well until the OCD has taken over. My own mind started acting strange and very stupid. It started gaslighting me everytime I adopt a new belief. It started bullying me basically but you trust it so much because it has the same voice as your own mind. You see the OCD has some kind of authority over you, because it is inside your own mind. The OCD is very anal and stupid. If you say this is red, it will say "are you fking mad, this is green". Another very good example is a thought I had once. I started thinking why we say how are you to others when we are not really concerned about them. I knew this idea was stupid but it was persistent and it bothered me for at least a day. The answer of course is that how are u is a kind of greeting. Anyways, this is just one idea, the OCD has thousands of them. It has no specific topic to debate you about. It literally can bother you about anything.

I really struggled for years just to understand the things I said here. Your brain becomes so weird and dysfunction that you cannot even know how it was before it became like this.

The treatment of OCD ia mainly medical at first then you learn to basically ignore it and to rob it from its mental authority over you.

Edited March 21, 2023 by LSD-Rumi

[Lana Faye]

Hi there! Thanks for sharing your experience. I see OCD is spreading over the most important things to me starting from my son, sanity, mind and well, ultimately my ego. It just feeds on any bit of attention we assign to the weird or scary thoughts revolving around the most important things. OCD particularly loves fear, anxiety and pity. It rages in the morning so intensively that I get lost in this vicious cycle of obsessions (bad or weird thoughts) to compulsions (reading more about OCD, talking to others about OCD, scanning your mental space, trying to control the content of the thoughts or substituting a bad thought for a good one). It is just exhausting… literally hell. 

[Lana Faye]

Here is a YouTube channel that’s been quite helpful 

[Yimpa]

OCD is scary, in that it’s a bully that you cannot physically see. 

[LSD-Rumi]

@DefinitelyNotARobot OCD is mostly genetic. Some of us are susceptibile genetically to developing OCD, just like schizophrenia, it is just a matter of time before we develop it, a certain or multiple stressors will be the cause.

[LSD-Rumi]

@DefinitelyNotARobot mine is gone, forever.  I spent years doing cbt and years trying to find the right medication or substance. Now I am free from it, forever. Once it is gone, it is gone.

[Yimpa]

@toasty7718 kudos for opening up about having OCD. We are truly warriors for learning to overcome its power.

I’m pretty sure I’ve experienced almost every subtype at this point. It fucking sucks.

[Yimpa]

36 minutes ago, toasty7718 said:

@Yimpa I know, right? Just know you’re not alone in your struggles and there are other people who share your experience of what you’re going through 

Thank you. Very much appreciated. I struggled with it alone for so long, but now knowing that I’m not alone with this brings so much warmth to my heart.

[toasty7718]

@Yimpa absolutely, you’re not alone. 

[JJfromSwitzerland]

I also think I suffer from Pure O, basically all my life if I think back. Here or some examples I used to have:

- I had one thought that whenever somebody said something, I had to rhyme the last word of what the person said in my head. It was freaking me out. This one is gone.
- I had one thought that I couldn't stop paying attention to blinking my eyes. I couldn't do it subconsciously anymore. It was annoying as hell. It is gone now. The same thing I had with breathing after I did some meditations. This one is also gone now.

I had many more things like that and only one is sticking to me to this day and my goal is to conquer this one for good now:
- I always have to think in and about accents (dialects). It is exhausting, you can probably imagine. 

How do I deal with it:
I just do all my things no matter what. I go to work, I go out, I go running, I go the gym, I go on dates, I meet friends. Basically I don't lock my self indoors and let the OCD dictating my life. I do whatever I have to and live my life, even though the OCD is there and it is annoying as hell and nothing seems to help. I basically just accepted it and let it there and I won't let it stop doing me from ANYTHING!

 

I think it is OCD, right? Let me know what you guys think.