Holy shit! I just confronted my shadow

[spiritual memes]

copied from my journal:

While working with my existential dread and nihilism, instead of avoiding it, I jumped straight into the fire and fully embraced these feelings and I ended up facing my shadow.

All my preconceived notions of shadow work were wrong. The shadow isn't just a part, Its an entire world filled with darkness, dread, hatred and malevolence. 

And its been here all along pulling the strings.

I understand why its called the shadow now. My shadow isn't just a part, It is me! Its just as much me as the conscious me, just a dark aspect of me that never sees the light of consciousness. Everything I hated out in the world was inside me all along being projected outwards. I thought, I was suppressing it, but its been in control the entire time. If my self is a reflection of the light of consciousness, then my shadow self is a reflection of the void. Once I embraced by shadow, all my existential dread remained, but to my shadow, the dread was ok, it was just one of many emotions in the void.

The experience was equal in intensity to a psychedelic trip although none have allowed me to access my shadow like IFS therapy. The shadow hasn't changed, It's just been illuminated. I don't know what the consequences will be or if I can even trust my shadow, but its not like I was ever in control in the first place. I can only allow things to unfold.

I tried to draw my experience with midjourney:

 

[Holymoly]

was this with a IFS therapist?

[Felliks]

Hey great, that's amazing! There's so much down there, I suggest you talk to a friend, hopefully one who's interested in't. Lots of sexually active stuff as well. Keep care!

[spiritual memes]

7 hours ago, Holymoly said:

was this with a IFS therapist?

I was doing IFS by myself.

[spiritual memes]

7 hours ago, Felliks said:

Hey great, that's amazing! There's so much down there, I suggest you talk to a friend, hopefully one who's interested in't. Lots of sexually active stuff as well. Keep care!

Thanks. Not many of my friends are into this type of shit tho 

[Razard86]

On 3/19/2023 at 10:59 PM, spiritual memes said:

copied from my journal:

While working with my existential dread and nihilism, instead of avoiding it, I jumped straight into the fire and fully embraced these feelings and I ended up facing my shadow.

All my preconceived notions of shadow work were wrong. The shadow isn't just a part, Its an entire world filled with darkness, dread, hatred and malevolence. 

And its been here all along pulling the strings.

I understand why its called the shadow now. My shadow isn't just a part, It is me! Its just as much me as the conscious me, just a dark aspect of me that never sees the light of consciousness. Everything I hated out in the world was inside me all along being projected outwards. I thought, I was suppressing it, but its been in control the entire time. If my self is a reflection of the light of consciousness, then my shadow self is a reflection of the void. Once I embraced by shadow, all my existential dread remained, but to my shadow, the dread was ok, it was just one of many emotions in the void.

The experience was equal in intensity to a psychedelic trip although none have allowed me to access my shadow like IFS therapy. The shadow hasn't changed, It's just been illuminated. I don't know what the consequences will be or if I can even trust my shadow, but its not like I was ever in control in the first place. I can only allow things to unfold.

I tried to draw my experience with midjourney:

 

The shadow is actually the light, it's the light of truth being suppressed. All of your negative feelings are rooted in a lack of control, the fear of death, fear of being alone, fear of not being in control, fear of not being good enough, anger at what is perceived as lack of fairness, etc.

This is the truth of your feelings, your feelings are not just the happy ones, but the ones rooted in anger. Through a thorough understanding of your shadow, you discover that it is actually the light and there is no shadow at all, and now since you have integrated it you see yourself and others more clearly.

There is a danger here though, your patience for bullshit will need to be cultivated because once you can see your shadow, you now have the ability to see the shadows that others try to suppress clear as day. The more intelligent you become, the less intelligent others will seem in comparison.

[spiritual memes]

4 hours ago, Razard86 said:

The shadow is actually the light, it's the light of truth being suppressed. All of your negative feelings are rooted in a lack of control, the fear of death, fear of being alone, fear of not being in control, fear of not being good enough, anger at what is perceived as lack of fairness, etc.

This is the truth of your feelings, your feelings are not just the happy ones, but the ones rooted in anger. Through a thorough understanding of your shadow, you discover that it is actually the light and there is no shadow at all, and now since you have integrated it you see yourself and others more clearly.

Yes that's true. Its hard to see it that way though.

[caspex]

I want to have this experience as well. Can you tell me how or link me to sources? I don't understand where to look up IFS on doing it myself. It looks like it will take a while to figure out so I'd appreciate your guidance.

[Hojo]

How do you beat the devil? Love the fuck out of him. any negative thought IS satan and positive thought Is god You decide which is which ! Do you try to stop yourself from having any negative thoughts or do you just stop saying they are negative. Once you have take the shadow away from yourself you must be the illumination of light and have no shadow and only cast light unto others you see. By being in pure union with your specific form which is all thoughts you consider negative and all thoughts you consider positive. Imagine at 15 a child has a thought, it considers this bad and it cannot think of it. It disassociates with this thought and considers it something it is shunned from thinking about. This creates an entity of that idea and it will feed itself off our negativity we put into it by forbidding ourselves from thinking about it. It is not up to us to judge our thoughts just listen and when its done talking say ok why am i thinking about this? Shadow work is beautiful and will heal your mind we should do it everyday

Edited March 23, 2023 by Hojo