It's better for WOMEN to be ADORERS: understanding the balance of attraction

[mr_engineer]

@Lila9 The world is full of flaky women. This is a big problem for men. 

If the man is supposed to chase, how do we solve this problem? What's your solution to it? How do we weed out the flaky women, if we're doing the chasing? 

[Gesundheit2]

2 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

@Lila9 The world is full of flaky women. This is a big problem for men.

This is only true in the pick-up world when you're just a random dude to them, and it's fair. Why should they go out with a random person that they met off the streets or in the club and will probably never see again?

Women that know you in real life are not usually flaky unless they didn't want to go out with you in the first place but didn't know how to get out of it, which is rare unless you somehow manage to creep them out before the date.

Edited March 21, 2023 by Gesundheit2

[StarStruck]

12 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

This is only true in the pick-up world when you're just a random dude to them, and it's fair. Why should they go out with a random person that they met off the streets or in the club and will probably never see again?

Women that know you in real life are not usually flaky unless they didn't want to go out with you in the first place but didn't know how to get out of it, which is rare unless you somehow manage to creep them out before the date.

Right

[mr_engineer]

@Lila9Let's say you have a crush on a man. You wait, wait and wait for him to ask you out. He doesn't. Ultimately, you do it yourself. And then, he says 'yes' and you go on a date together. 

Then, on the date, he reveals that he also liked you. When you ask him 'why didn't you ask me out, then?!', he says 'my gut-feeling gave me a sign that you'd flake'. 

How would you feel? Would that be fair? 

[mr_engineer]

@Lila9I'm gonna answer my question, for myself. 

If I had principles in terms of communication-skills and logistics, and if the guy I'm dating pulls that on me, I would be very upset with him. And it would not sound fair to me at all. I would already be judging his level of smartness, I would lose a certain degree of respect for him.

It would sound weak to me, in fact. It would reflect that he does not value objectivity, that he has poor observation-skills and that he makes wrong decisions due to incompetence. That instead of working on his incompetence, he succumbs to it. It would be a dealbreaker for me. 

[Emerald]

6 hours ago, StarStruck said:

@Lila9

I don’t agree with Emerald that a woman chasing a man emasculates the woman. Nor does this have any basis in any psychology literature. 

For example there is a literal king. And all females want to be with this king. Does that emasculate those woman that are doing the chasing? No, this is when the feminine instinct kicks in when she competes with the other females. You can see this behavior in apes too.

It is in the nature of woman to lock in a high status male. And a high status man doesn’t chase pussy. Why is your pussy better than all those other pussies? That is how a high value man thinks because he has options. 

Power = having options

And woman want a male they can respect which entails he has some power of his life, circumstance, and business. 

You and Emerald have watched too many Disney movies. No offense. 

The egg does not chase the sperm.

[StarStruck]

2 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Chasing is a masculine energy. 

Wanting to be with someone is not as same as actively chasing someone. Women usually would use indirect seductive techniques to make the king to fall in love with them and meet their needs. That's how it worked in the era of emperors and kings when women had much less power, their best option was to make powerful men falling in love with them in order to gain a bit more power and improve their lives and the lives of their familiy and children. Seduction is a feminine, subtle and sophisticated way to make someone to be willing to chase you, it's a female invention. It's not like actively chasing someone.

Now men use seduction techniques in order to make women chasing them in order to raise their status among other men.

High value men just go and get the women they want without playing stupid mind games. They know exactly what woman they want and why they want her and will put themselves out there and put the effort to get her.

Women chase in their own way, obviously women don't chase like men, they would be viewed like sluts but they do chase in their own way (the way you explained), and they compete. That is chasing too. I'm not top G but just regular guy but when one girl likes me in a venue, sudden more than one girl likes me and they compete and become hostile toward each other; while in the beginning when there was no competition they weren't that receptive towards me.

Top G's (men who are the total package) are too busy with their life purpose. They don't have time to run behind cinderella and jump through all her hoops that she lied out for him.

That is just a fantasy that females developed thanks to Disney movies. And that is why there will be tons of lonely women by 2030:

45% Of Women Are Expected To Be Single And Childless By 2030, Per Recent Projection
https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/45-percent-women-are-expected-to-be-single-and-childless-by-2030

And on top of that most women have too high of an expectation for what kind of men they can get visa-vi what they are offering in terms of beauty and so on.

Of course women can settle for a simp or an incel and in that case, Emerald and you are right. You two girls would be the adored and the guy would be the adorer but the thing is that most girls in their prime won't settle for a looser. So in some way you girls are right.

41 minutes ago, Emerald said:

The egg does not chase the sperm.

I'm not pulling down my pants that quickly.

Edited March 21, 2023 by StarStruck

[Gesundheit2]

31 minutes ago, Emerald said:

The egg does not chase the sperm.

Actually, they both move towards each other. They usually meet at the first third of the fallopian tube, which is closer to the ovary. So yes, the sperm does chase a lot more, but the egg has to leave the ovary too.

[StarStruck]

1 minute ago, Gesundheit2 said:

Actually, they both move towards each other. They usually meet at the first third of the fallopian tube, which is closer to the ovary. So yes, the sperm does chase a lot more, but the egg has to leave the ovary too.

The egg versus sperm cell comparison is not a good metaphor. For example if a top G decides not to fuck an average girl, there is no chase between the egg and the sperm to begin with.

Of course any average looking girl can be knocked up within half a hour if she wishes but she wants to be knocked up by a high quality guy, a guy she likes, and that will stick around.

[Gesundheit2]

@StarStruck I watched the video. It's teaching a manipulation technique that exploits a loophole in weak women's minds which activates a FOMO reaction in them that causes them to seek after you. That's the magician archetype, it's sneaky and deceitful, but it works. If that's what you find yourself good at, then do it. But if you're like me, then I suggest that you find the archetype that is closer to your personality and build upon it.

[StarStruck]

17 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

I prefer to be single for the rest of my life and for infinite lives ahed than being with a man who expects me to chase him, I'm not attracted to men who are waiting in a dark corner to be chased and admired by women, and it doesn't matter if they are top G or street bums. 

And no, female seduction is more about conveying the message for men that they are open and receptive and not actively chasing men like men chase women. There are women who chase men in a masculine way, it might work for them if the men they chase are more feminine, but it will never make men who are more masculine fall in love with them. Men who mainly operate from masculine energy fall in love with women who operate mainly from feminine energy.

Well that is just your preference then but I doubt you would be happy and probably have some regrets too.

To be honest, only older females like 30+ and who are a little bit desperate are chasing me. The young feminine girls who are in the age range 20-25 aren't chasing me so I do have to change my approach a little too I think. You are right that they only signal receptivity, they don't want to take the masculine role so perhaps you are right but I don't how it works for the top G's. I'm not a top G and I don't have my shit together.

It is funny because last night I was in a dance school, and I was sitting and the dance instructor said, "why are you sitting? " I said, there are no girls for me to ask for a dance, he said "if you are sitting no girl will come to you and ask you for a dance". ?So probably he meant to say what you said about being open and signalling openness.

Edited March 21, 2023 by StarStruck

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

Actually, they both move towards each other. They usually meet at the first third of the fallopian tube, which is closer to the ovary. So yes, the sperm does chase a lot more, but the egg has to leave the ovary too.

I’m not advocating a situation where the woman isn’t making any effort.

I’m just talking about the archetypal framework that informs male/female relationship dynamics.

But people are not archetypes. So, all people have the lover and beloved within them. So, men and women will ebb and flow between these archetypes organically.

That said, if you want polarity in the dynamic, then the man primarily as Lover and woman primarily as Beloved tends to be what leads to deeper pair bonding.

The opposite doesn’t usually lead to good results in terms of stable pair bonding… unless the woman is more Masculine and the man is more Feminine.

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I'm not pulling down my pants that quickly.

???

[mr_engineer]

35 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

I understand that you would have feel upset if the man expresses that he feels you are flaky, while actually you are not. I also would be upset and even angry for such random assumption that has noting to do with who I am.

But what if you are actually very flaky person and he reads you pretty well, what are you going to say or feel about him? Would you have more respect for a person who sees through your bs, or someone who's unaware to that?

I would have more respect for a person who sees through my bs, yes. I would take the warning to stop doing that. 

41 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

And why do you think that objectivity is superior to intuition when judging character? Let's say that a person might seem pretty decent, objectively. But in fact, he is very far from the persona that he puts on himself. What are other ways rather than objectivity, to find out who he really is? Or at least getting some taste of it? Relaying on our gut feelings, of course. We were born with this inner wisdom for a good reason.

I'll tell you why I think objectivity is superior to intuition. 

Because more often than not, the cold hard facts of a situation are enough to tell someone's character. 

And, sometimes, your intuition can make you doubt someone in a paranoid way. 

In such a situation, the principled thing to do is to give them the benefit of the doubt. And to rely on the facts. 

And, of course, you don't go on appearances. You dig deeper for the facts. Because, even if your gut-feeling tells you something, until you have hard facts to back it up, you can never be sure about the right course of action, given the situation. And you should strive to justify your actions to yourself and to others. 

[Something Funny]

@Lila9 I've just watched this one:

 

What a well done documentary. I actually didn't think I would enjoy watching it that much. I will probably get into documentaries now, haha. I have been wanting to watch "The last dive of David Shaw" for a while now, but have been putting it away.

And wow, this case is insane. It's crazy how he was able to kill 33 people, and could probably kill even more if he didn't get so careless with the last boy. That's just insane.

Imagine having so many people gone missing that have this guy in their social circle and police just didn't give a fuck.

I wonder if it's the same nowadays or something has changed for the better.

Also this guy is a very interesting person to study if you are interested in psychology I think. Such a nut job. To be honest I wished that they didn't execute him but instead put him into a mental hospital and sudied him like the lawyer suggested.

So, anyway, thanks for sharing )

[StarStruck]

2 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Do you think that you will ever in your life regret saying no to women that weren't attractive for you? I don't think that you will ever regret that.

I will never regret not chasing men that I'm not attracted to because they were waiting to be chased. I feel no loss. I would feel more loss if a good men who is my type chased me and I wasn't open or receptive to that and missed the opportunity.
 

You never had regrets? Wow. I do have regrets but I try to turn that into lessons. There is such a thing as to being to picky.

Quote

For you as a man is to know what woman you want and invest in her, for a feminine women (I assume you are intrested in a more feminine woman and not in a more masculine woman) is to signal for you that she is open and receptive.

And yeah lol seems like your dance instructor was speaking from experience.

Yea I'm interested in feminine women, so I have to change my attitude a bit. Currently I'm not chasing at all. Even if I get a phone number from girls I like I secretly hoped she will text me. I'm also not looking for a gf so I'm lazy but still it rubs me the wrong way if they don't.. ?

Currently working on developing my warrior archetype so it can balance out the other archetypes: especially my weak/dysfunctional lover archetype. My life purpose is my first love and I don't think I'm going to change that because I'm into self-development and I can't sacrifice that for a girl right now.

Last year I was disappointed after some dates, so I'm not planning to be the adorer anytime soon. At best I will take the lead, and in my book, taking the lead and chasing is not the same.

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

???

It was a bad joke

Edited March 21, 2023 by StarStruck

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, StarStruck said:

It was a bad joke

No worries 

[Roy]

@StarStruck You've been working pretty hard at this stuff for a while now. Are you achieving what you want in this domain?

Have you had some good experiences with women and gotten with any of the ones you liked?

I'm curious to know your progress.

Edited March 22, 2023 by Roy

[StarStruck]

46 minutes ago, Roy said:

@StarStruck You've been working pretty hard at this stuff for a while now. Are you achieving what you want in this domain?

Have you had some good experiences with women and gotten with any of the ones you liked?

I'm curious to know your progress.

For the last year I focused on myself. Before that I also had similar periods. 

My focus is on life purpose and defeating my addictions. I defeated my addictions but obviously there was trauma behind the addictions so I’m busy healing that. No girl can fix that so approaching and dating is on the back burner. 

Currently taking a dance class and meeting women from there but I’m very passive as I explained in an earlier post and also protective of myself so feminine girls who are interested in me shy away after a while. There are some older women in the 30’ies that are more steadfast who are trying to get with me but I’m not interested in getting anything. I’m just exercising my social skills so to say  

Deep trauma is related with relationships so I’m still socializing but at the same time keeping people on a distance. People are not inclined to people with trauma energy and it hurts if they don’t accept me with my trauma energy which is a double slap: first the trauma in my childhood + being punished for carrying the trauma energy as an adult. 

Currently I’m focusing on life purpose, meditation & sexual transmutation is a big thing for me, LSD from now and then, boxing, and some self help. Socializing is on the secondary in my life and just for exercise. The real progress is made within my self. 

Edited March 22, 2023 by StarStruck

[Something Funny]

52 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

And yes the story of this guy is almost unbelievable. To think that he was a very liked person in his community.

Yeah, his social skills were honestly impressive. But I guess it's not that hard when you have psychopathic levels of ego and confidence, and have a basic idea of how to play with people to get them to like you.