A Bit Jealous Of Girls

[Karmadhi]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Then how come so many girls struggle with dating and finding good men?

Just ask girls. They will not tell you how easy and great dating is for them. The will tell you about all sorts of frustrations they have and various degrees of abuse.

The bottom line is that if you were a girl you would be frustrated rather than basking in dick paradise, as you guys imagine.

I agree with you that they are frustrated. I have spoken with many many about this and they are not happy at all.

However, I have noticed that the main reason it happens is because they are looking for the perfect guy and have unrealistic expectations.

Also if a guy does 1-2 mistakes somewhere they immediately cut him off and are overall a lot harsher. 

If a guy was as harsh and picky as most girls he would never get laid unless he was a proper PUA (which are like 5% of the population of men max).

So they are creating their own problem. It is as if I will only work if I get top 10% salary or only eat restourant level foods. It is a silly and childish logic, real life you need to be make compromises and settle. 

Edited March 20, 2023 by Karmadhi

[Leo Gura]

7 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

However, I have noticed that the main reason it happens is because they are looking for the perfect guy and have unrealistic expectations.

Also if a guy does 1-2 mistakes somewhere they immediately cut him off and are overall a lot harsher. 

This is not my experience of girls at all.

If anything girls are too permissive and lack perfectionism.

Girls will tolerate a lot of abuse and bad behavior from guys.

This is why abusive relationships are so common.

Edited March 20, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Everything you said is on point, but I must say that a nice pair of tits have opened many doors. There is scientific research on this. Waitresses with bigger tits earn way more tips. And that's just the tip of iceberg.

And did you know that 99.9% of female CEOs have huge tits?

Not!

Trust me… the only doors big tits open are literal planks of wood on metal hinges. 

Not as to say that having a door held open for you here and there isn’t nice sometimes… and of course making an extra $10 in tips during a shift as a waitress is helpful.

But tits really won’t get you far… because simply being attractive to men (or in general) is an ineffective path to power.

This is especially true given the fact that aging happens… and any soft power that looks did confer will gradually fall away.

And in the options that an attractive woman could choose to propel themselves ahead financially based on looks come at great cost to them.

They either marry a rich guy who has so much more power in the relationship compared to them because they hold the purse strings… and who might just be looking for an accessory to his own self-image and status.

Or they become a model and deal with all the objectification and noise that comes with that option.

[Karmadhi]

46 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

This is not my experience of girls at all.

If anything girls are too permissive and lack perfectionism.

Girls will tolerate a lot of abuse and bad behavior from guys.

This is why abusive relationships are so common.

Very interesting.

Im curious, these guys that girls tolerate a lot are they players with great game or not? If you are a PUA player or natural game person then I agree with you but most guys are not.

Being a decent guy that treats girls well does not mean you need to have great game. 

Many (but not all) of the experiences I have heard of girls being hurt by guys was because the guys tended to be playerish kinda guys with lots of options with other girls. This does not mean he is a decent guy. To me decent guy is based on being responsible, reliable, interesting (so not boring), secure in himself, wise, caring and having his life together. Many of these guys are not girl magnet yet would make the best boyfriends. So it is not hard for a girl to get a decent guy that will treat her well. Biggest issue I guess is that these guys sometimes are scared to approach but it can be solved by dating them from work/social circle etc. 

 

Edited March 20, 2023 by Karmadhi

[Emerald]

51 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

I agree with you that they are frustrated. I have spoken with many many about this and they are not happy at all.

However, I have noticed that the main reason it happens is because they are looking for the perfect guy and have unrealistic expectations.

Also if a guy does 1-2 mistakes somewhere they immediately cut him off and are overall a lot harsher. 

If a guy was as harsh and picky as most girls he would never get laid unless he was a proper PUA (which are like 5% of the population of men max).

So they are creating their own problem. It is as if I will only work if I get top 10% salary or only eat restourant level foods. It is a silly and childish logic, real life you need to be make compromises and settle. 

Women generally aren’t looking for the top 10% of guys.

Women don’t tend to be very strategic when it comes to picking a partner unless they’re using their logic-mind to choose.

But using the logic-mind to choose will get a woman into relationships that aren’t fulfilling at all.

Logic pales in comparison to emotion and intuition as it comes to finding a match.

Its all very emotional and has 98% to do with how she feels about a guy.

Women honestly aren’t picky enough about their standards. They just fall for a guy, and then forgive all of his short-comings because of how she feels about him.

Women are selective. But they’re not picky at all in how they select.

[Leo Gura]

22 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And did you know that 99.9% of female CEOs have huge tits?

Nice strawman.

Being a CEO requires balls, not tits.

Quote

Not as to say that having a door held open for you here and there isn’t nice sometimes… and of course making an extra $10 in tips during a shift as a waitress is helpful.

You underplay their value. Not just $10 but $1000s of dollars. Free food. Free cars. Free vacations. Free medicine. Job offers. etc.

A girlfriend of mine got a free Mercedes SUV from a billionaire working in a hotel. A free brand new fucking Mercedes! Just for being a girl. She didn't even sleep with him! Now she drives that Mercedes to my house to sleep in my bed.

Quote

But tits really won’t get you far… because simply being attractive to men (or in general) is an ineffective path to power.

Of course it won't get you serious power.

A pair of tits is not worth billions of dollars. But it is worth tens to hundreds of thousands. Maybe even millions if you play it right.

For a waitress, a boob job will pay for itself within a year. That's just how the world works. So yes, it is nice to be a girl sometimes.

Edited March 20, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Nice strawman.

Being a CEO requires balls, not tits.

You underplay their value. Not just $10. $1000 of dollars. Free cars. Free vacations. Free medicine. Etc.

A girlfriend of mind got a free Mercedes SUV from a billionaire working in a hotel. A free brand new fucking Mercedes! Just for being a girl.

Of course it won't get you serious power.

I wasn’t strawmanning. I was being facetious to convey my point that tits don’t confer any kind of real power.

And I doubt this billionaire just gave your girlfriend a free car without expecting something in return.

The free things that men give to women are never actually free.

It’s a good practice to avoid taking “free” things from men.

Otherwise you’re like Persephone eating pomegranate seeds in the Underworld.

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And I doubt this billionaire just gave your girlfriend a free car without expecting something in return.

The free things that men give to women are never actually free.

Of course he expected something in return. But she played him for freebies. That's what girls go.

It's like getting free drinks out of guys at the bar.

Edited March 20, 2023 by Leo Gura

[something_else]

19 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And I doubt this billionaire just gave your girlfriend a free car without expecting something in return.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've heard stories from a fair few girls about how they are in 'relationships' with rich guys where they basically exchange attention for money. Not even sex or nudes or anything. Just attention and companionship over the internet, in exchange for effortless money. So if you have an endless supply of money as a billionaire it doesn't seem that crazy to me to just give a girl a free car and not really expect anything.

37 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

Being a decent guy that treats girls well does not mean you need to have great game. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The thing is, being a decent guy on its own is kinda boring. Most guys are decent guys. Being decent doesn't evoke that much emotion in a woman, though. Being a decent, good guy is obviously positive and girls will appreciate it a lot once they're attracted to you and you're in a relationship. But you also need to have some extra pazazz to actually spike that initial emotional attraction in a woman. You can do that without being a player or a dickhead, there are lots of ways to do it.

Edited March 20, 2023 by something_else

[Emerald]

22 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course he expected something in return. But she played him for freebies. That's what girls go.

It's like getting free drinks out of guys at the bar.

@something_else

Let me rephrase this… those freebies come at a cost that’s greater than sex.

Edited March 20, 2023 by Emerald

[Something Funny]

8 minutes ago, Emerald said:

@something_else

Let me rephrase this… those freebies come at a cost that’s greater than sex.

Can I ask what is it?

[Leo Gura]

33 minutes ago, Emerald said:

@something_else

Let me rephrase this… those freebies come at a cost that’s greater than sex.

Well, that depends on a case by case basis. Not necessarily. Lots of girls receive free goodies and go about their merry way. It just makes life a bit easier. Some of these girls don't even appreciate how hard life would be without any free goodies and kind treatment.

The way I live my life, I don't expect anyone to ever give me anything for free. This requires me to live a lot more seriously. I have to be much more strict with myself. Most hot girls do not live like that. There is an emotional cost to having to be so serious and earn your way through life.

Being cute lets you get away with a lot more in life. People give you more leeway. You get more room for error and you get more compassion when you suffer or fail. If you're not cute, nobody gives a fuck about you when you're suffering.

Edited March 20, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura how did you learn to stay positive and "Radiant like the Sun" while also being real about how the world is instead of just bullshitting yourself and wearing pink glasses?

[Leo Gura]

11 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@Leo Gura how did you learn to stay positive and "Radiant like the Sun" while also being real about how the world is instead of just bullshitting yourself and wearing pink glasses?

That's a good question.

I'm basically very realistic and pragmatic about how the life works, especially in the short-term. But I'm very optimistic about my potential and what I can achieve through consistent labor. So, for example, I will admit that I suck with girls when I start. But I am very hopeful that I can become very good with girls after 5 years of constant practice. That is  not bullshit, that is truth. You can master most areas of life with 5-10 years of deep practice.

Basically, the way to keep yourself hopeful is to understand that if you want something bad enough, you can build it with hard work within 5-10 years. So there's no reason to feel like a victim.

Edited March 20, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura thanks. I will try to adopt this attitude. 

[Loving Radiance]

4 hours ago, Something Funny said:

@Leo Gura if you hide a thread, do the bookmarks also disappear?

Kinda. Even though you can't any more read the thread, you can still see the content of the bookmarked comments.

[Something Funny]

5 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

Kinda. Even though you can't any more read the thread, you can still see the content of the bookmarked comments.

Good to know, thanks for advise. 

[StarStruck]

@Something Funny you have to choose your own frames. A person with a victim mindset doesn’t choose his own frame but copies the frames of others. You have to develop a certain swagger and balls while still being grounded in reality. 

My gold standard for choosing beneficial frames is to take on the frame that is most beneficial for me while still being grounded in reality. 

[Something Funny]

@CARDOZZO 22, sorry for not responding earlier 

[Something Funny]

15 hours ago, Basman said:

@Something Funny I believe it is fundamentally a need to be enjoyed as a person that is amiss here. Parents usually fulfill this need for their children when they play with them, talk with them leisurely or simply spend quality time with them. The experience of joy derived from your mere existance. It is hard to get that as adult the same way unfortunately. It is something you gotta learn to cultivate yourself somehow.

I can relate to the pain of feeling like nobody enjoys you for who you are and that you have that you have to grind just to get what you want, however. It is not helpful thought to whish you had it easier. Girls might have it easier one way but they also fundamentally have different needs and insecurities which don't apply to you the same way (and which you probably don't want).

Just keep it rolling. Do things you find meaningful and makes you happier as a person. Just keep in mind that your brain still growing. Trust me, as you inch closer to 25, you will suddenly feel a lot more level headed.

Thank you. That’s an interesting take. I don't think I've this issue when growing up to be honest. My problem was that I would be adraid to express myself around my dad and would try to be as invisible as possible.  And I think because of that I still have issues with opening up to people and having a good time without constantly analyzing my every action.