The beginnings of pickup

[Davidess]

I've done about 50 approaches, most of them were indirect (asking for direction to the place I know or telling them that I'd like to know them without the premise that I like them sexually). However, I've also done direct approaches and they didn't go so well. The girls seem creeped out - after Hello and a pause and getting their attention I just tell them: 'I like you, I like to know you'. And the girls with their vibe say: 'Who tf are you' and they tell me that they have a BF or that they are not interested. 

Is this how it always is in the beginning? I must admit that I say it like a robot?

Daygame for me feels like a meat grinder. However, when I do the approach, it's like nothing. It's just when I am in the field focusing on approaching.

Also, I feel weird approaching every girl (let's say on the scale at least 5 out of 10) I see. Is this unethical? I feel like a desperate guy or a sociopath, who doesn't think how other people feel, I feel like I'm disturbing their private space.

What do you think? It's just my programming or it's how it is always for everyone?

[NoSelfSelf]

They think tf, because how can you like her when you dont know her basically...

[Leo Gura]

18 minutes ago, Davidess said:

Is this how it always is in the beginning? I must admit that I say it like a robot

Yes, your first 500 approaches will be pretty cringe. Just get them out of the way as smoothly as you're able.

Your vibe is like 90% of your results. So the reason you're getting these bad reactions is because your vibe is off, your subcommunication is off, you're tense, you're afraid, you're insecure, you're not smiling, you don't feel good in your body, your verbals are awkward, you're not smooth, and you don't know how to lead the conversation well.

All of that improves with practice. Don't beat yourself up.

One of the best ways to improve is watch as much in-field hidden video as possible. Or get a wingman who can demo it for you. You need to see what a smooth approach looks like and sounds like.

Edited March 17, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Davidess]

Thanks, I'll check it out ?

[Leo Gura]

I have literally paid my wingmen to record their approaches and give me the audio files. So I can study them.

[Karmadhi]

Smile A LOT, be positive AF.

Do not say "I like you", it is a bit strange. Maybe just give a compliment like "I found you cute and wanted to say hi". Something more simple. 

Dress well, take care of your looks.

Try to prioritze girls that are not in a rush or are just sitting somewhere (usually more responsive).

Have positive energy and vibe that is KEY. Also innocence.

You can deal with the sexual intent after, first try to get good conversations going without creeping people out.

[Eyowey]

It might help to be weird on purpose because the harder you try not to be weird the more you will appear like you are hiding something which is creepy.

[supremeyingyang]

@Eyowey This is a good comment. What means being weird? Being not normal. Odds are you (OP) aren't normal and that's cool. Stand for it.

[supremeyingyang]

@Davidess

I experienced this in my development in my skill to present things at work. After 3.5 years of intense angst and stress all of it suddenly...stopped! Presenting became a non-issue, I'm now better with less to no prep due to being more in tune with the people. Funny how that works....

Edited March 17, 2023 by supremeyingyang

[Davidess]

@Karmadhi Yeah, get the basics down first ?

@Eyowey That would surely help me, thanks?

@supremeyingyang You exceeded the threshold it seems like, I guess that works like that in pickup as well?

Thanks for all the answers

I did just two approaches today, and I got an Instagram from a girl, however she was in a rush, we talked for a 20s, so I think it's a flaky IG. The second girl politely rejected me and told me she has a boyfriend, even said sorry. I guess that were better approaches than the previous ones. Going to do more when I go out next time, probably a night game this time, we'll see.

 

 

[Karmadhi]

How are your social skills? Many people here might dissagree with this but if you do not have at least decent social skills and social intelligence then I think you have more important things to worry about than pickup. 

To develop social skills pickup is not the best way because it is very artificial and mechanical. For that I would reccomend meetup events and social groups, best way to grow your social skills really fast. Once you become likable and ease to talk with, you can go to pickup. Doing pickup with bad social skills to me is pointless and will make the journey hell.

If you have already decent social skills then just focus on more approaches.

Edited March 17, 2023 by Karmadhi

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7sHIRRbWWA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hOwNudcVgI

 

[The0Self]

You seem serious about this, and seem to be at a stage that I remember and was not fun, so I will say what I probably don’t say often enough, but I don’t say it because it cheapens how firmly rooted it should already be if you’re practicing game and don’t want it to be a shit show. Also / Yet / Not to mention, there’s an element of not wanting it too well known, not because of potentially “increased competition” (we’re talking about no-agenda fun-having and spontaneous life-loving; competition doesn’t have to be a factor) but just an intuitive feeling that it doesn’t need to be talked about at this time.

Take a deep breath. Forget about everything you’ve ever heard about game/pickup.

This is what “game enlightenment” is: Always assuming… 1. The interaction is going well. And 2. That you are super awesome.

( disclaimer:

…until the interaction ends, of course, as it often will, and btw sex to phone number ratio is only 1:10 at the highest peak level of game, so don’t get too excited.

Yes you can actually do this and yes it can feel weird at times — the male mind can’t imagine what it’s like to be female, so when a particularly total egoless connection of them is about to happen, the male just might feel extremely disillusioned, and disoriented, but you can just keep on doing it anyway — not just assuming attraction, but also raising energy to rise to the level of “value” you can feel comfortable enough with, simply to be able to assume the aforementioned two points — you don’t even need that if you assume already even with a life in ruins or in whatever condition, though there’d be a limit, of course… homeless / etc, but that’d still work and it’d be god-tier mental gymnastics and obviously not in a good way so I don’t recommend it.

)

Verbatim. It means exactly what it says. Good luck ? 

And then you have to move things forward without putting any pressure on the girl whatsoever, as if she could be POOF gone at any time and it wouldn’t matter and you’d hold nothing against her.

It’s like a gravity well of the shared-orgasm, pulling two people toward itself by way of this particular vibe.

You also need actual experience and know-how in dealing with logistics, cockblocks, etc… so the above isn’t sufficient, but with it, the 90% is done, and without it, you’re missing the 90%… for the 10%…

Edited March 18, 2023 by The0Self

[Davidess]

@Karmadhimy social skills are pretty good, I study at a University, so I meet a lot of new people. I don't want to approach at Uni because it's relatively small (we don't have a campus or a similar thing sort of). I get along with friendly interactions pretty well, it's just with flirting and sexual interactions that I get nervous and uncomfortable... Even in the past when girls that liked me usually dumped me after two weeks telling me that I don't know how to date, they felt repelled eventually. I also rejected girl that was into me, we just made out a few times, she invited me home, but she didn't want to have sex, she told me that we'll have sex but not today, so I gave it a shot and I didn't feel the chemistry, I rejected her also because I wanted to learn game and get more of options, she was like 5 out of 10, in retrospect I could make it work with her, but I didn't want to at the time, the issue was she was 'independent' and made me feel like she didn't need me emotionally, she felt more like a guy friend. And I wasn't horny for sex yet?

@The0SelfThanks, I'll write it on my big white board that I have in my room?

@Razethanks!

 

 

Edited March 18, 2023 by Davidess

[Davidess]

I've just stumbled upon Letting Go by David R. Hawkins, had his book in library for two years, I opened it now, releasing emotions helps me think more clearly!I realized that I have lot of fears and anger towards approaching women... Also, I have a lot of unreleased baggage from the past.