Unlimited Scripture - Birthed From A Vision Board Picture

[tyy]

Over the past couple days I haven't been motivated to do this journaling. Am I avoiding it for a reason? Are there feelings or situations that I am not paying attention to?

I ask myself this and start to think about my relationship and home life right now. Everything has been feeling uneventful at home. There has been a wave of boredom and restlessness here. I don't feel like my girlfriend and I have been on the same page this week. Like a thread I was interested in earlier in the week, regarding up and down spells, this happens with the relationship topic too I feel. I know my perception will change, but writing about this right now helps. I know that the mood that I have had at home probably doesn't help neither. Our conversation has been bland and activities have been blah, like just watching shows and whatnot. This weekend should bring more opportunity to get outside and shed the cabin fever.

Last night's workout was fantastic. I always train in a sweater and had the sweat coming through. After that I kept consistent with the true cold water in the shower. Once the shower was done I sat down for a do-nothing meditation. Also, on the way to work earlier I started listening to the dark side of meditation podcast. This video was suggested in the thread I mentioned earlier, and could explain a lot. I am not too far into my meditation practice though.

Gratitude: I am thankful for an extra day off. I am thankful I woke up healthy. I am thankful for all of my work equipment.

[tyy]

It hasn't been the most positive weekend when it comes to self-development. I have found myself repeating bad habits again. With a two day work week approaching, then the Bahamas, the stage is set for another week of minimal improvements. I do hope to have some constructive time while there, and appreciate the change of scenery and unfamiliar nature.

Meditation has been pretty non-existent for the past couple days. Same with comfort zone exits. Workouts have stayed on point, with cold showers, lukewarm showers, and recovery Epsom salt baths.

I'll need to report back when I get back on the rails better.

Gratitude: I am thankful for a great birthday party for my nephew. I am thankful for borrowed tools. I am thankful for no injuries with all these physical activities. 

[tyy]

The past week has been one to forget when it comes to consistency and bad habit reduction. I haven't meditated in days now and the last life purpose course video watched was a while back too. This is heading into a Caribbean vacation, which will only promote more downsliding. 

Travelling is on my vision board but a trip like this is more or less indulgence for the lower self. All inclusive and minor sights to explore, unless you pay for a day excursion. Pretty much just eating, drinking tasty drinks and laying in the sun. I am conscious of why people take these trips, and I am guilty of the same reasons to a point. I let my girlfriend choose a weekend trip, since going places is important to her, and I kind of just go with the flow. I will try to incorporate some good habits (to go with the bad) over the weekend, and will certainly enjoy the water, unfamiliar animals and sun soaking.

After the trip it will be nice to hit the ground running with my positive practices again. 

Gratitude: I am thankful I got localized at work. I am thankful for today. I am thankful to have savings.

[tyy]

I mentioned hitting the ground running in the entry yesterday and want to further explore that thought as a service to my current mood.

When I returned from Jamaica I was engulfed by the weed habit; it was daily (at night) while in Jamaica and continued (at night) once I was home. I think that bender contributed to the turnaround at the gym I experienced. Shortly after I revamped my training and started to incorporate the cardio habit I have had going. I want to get back and have another spark of progression, no matter what kind.

Also, all this airport and flying time means I can do some listening to podcasts and continue to read some Tolle. This week I have been listening to Leo's videos regarding enlightenment and the FAQ's as well. 

Gratitude: I am thankful for easy travelling. I am thankful for technologies today. I am thankful we travel well together.

[tyy]

I have witnessed no shortage of beauty in nature while staying in the Bahamas. The different birds, reptiles, landscapes and abundance of sun have been great. I can't get over the sand, it couldn't be constructed better than the natural way it has developed.

Last night I was laying on the hammock looking upwards and the depth of this reality was noteworthy. It's like high up above there was a palm tree to look at, then the resort building ending far into the air. Miles above that, the lights of an airplane cross the vast sky. Light years past the airplane the stars shine. I look at all this and contemplate what I hear Leo saying in the enlightenment videos.

Happy I have been able to keep reading too. Tolle is teaching me about the pain body currently. I'll touch back on this later to self reflect. 

Gratitude: I am thankful for a sunset. I am thankful for new animal friends. I am thankful for sunscreen. 

[tyy]

Back in Canada!

Overall, Bahamas was a great time. I loved all the different sights. Sights like all the birds around the resort flying out above the ocean at sunset. It seemed to have no purpose or structure, they all just flew out there and begin going in circles and other patterns. I would stay focused on one bird to see what the idea was here, and it just flew around all over the place. Also, I am happy with the times I could still read or post, keeping me somewhat grounded amongst partying travelers. As mentioned, I read about the pain body, and how it feeds off of thought. I bring this up here to keep me reminded to shed awareness on this parasite, to chip away at its strength. I probably only catch it .0001% of the time though! And apparently it is extremely tricky too. Sounds like a life-long battle.

Since I am back I am feeling ready to get going. I look forward to getting back into the gym and strengthening the good & bad habit practices.

Lately some of my focus has been on trying to embrace confusion. The not-knowing for sure what is good in my life and what isn't. This confusion has caused great stress in romantic relationships before. It has also been creating monkey chatter as of late (is this a version of the pain body?). Once again mainly about my romantic relationship. I do not want to act to just abolish the confusion though; that has happened before. It's okay if I don't know. Things unfold, I'll just carry on doing what I want to do.

Gratitude: I am thankful for the weekend. I am thankful for seeing a sting-ray. I am thankful for safe travels.  

[tyy]

Thank you @Loreena for the love on these posts! When I got back I started a new morning routine which has me journaling by hand rather than on here; I have been enjoying that route as I don't need to question myself on what content I am including and why.