Casual Date & Getting Laid & Talking Points

[ValiantSalvatore]

I am going to be very brief, as I've been on multiple dates now and generally my questions seem fine, yet I get the feedback the sexual connection is missing.

I have a date with a sexy chinese girl, and she does not drink alcohol, she said yes and I want to invite her for coffee (waffles etc.), if she does not drink that I'd recommend going to waffles and ice cream, there is no way she'll says no. She does not drink so that is awesome. 

• What are good conversational topics to sexualize a conversation, so I could be at the end, what are you up to? How about we watch movie/series x at your place? (I will drive to her city (35 min drive))
• We have a lot in common(hip-hop, swimming, beach, jolly and optimistic energetic, health focus that is integrated and not a gimmick), yet my injury holds me back from going full power into exercises, I am doing better currently and I have a doctors appointment today, to get more feedback.
• I think she deeply enjoys healthy sex, when I go from my intuition the ('pua' said I fucked up with 7 years experience, I know it was going to hook, you can't be true authenticity and experience in terms of analysis)

I don't know what this will be, yet I'd love to have a great time, how can I sexualize conversation and be flirty with her? I know I can basically talk a lot about her, as she is just very interesting, I am unsure how well is that going to hook and how to sexualize a conversation.

Edited March 16, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Leo Gura]

If she's clearly attracted to you, you don't necessarily need to sexualize the conservation. Just build rapport and do some physical escalation and that will be enough. You don't need to say anything sexual in order for a date to lead to sex. But make sure you don't neglect on physical escalation. Give her hugs, hold her hand, tickle her, pinch her, squeeze her butt, etc. And do deep, romantic eye contact.

Edited March 16, 2023 by Leo Gura

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Leo GuraEdit:

How to escalate when sitting at a table, is sitting next as well as across from each other better? Holding hands is only possible next to each other, otherwise I would need to touch her leg and across romantic eye contact and more saiposexual romance would be possible. (Again very educated gal...)

Squeezing butt, would love to do that playfully, I don't know why it feels like I have collective guilt about this, because of subtle shaming of skin color.

I am very consent oriented, because of subtle political shaming left&right which creates a lot of impure intentions. 

 

 

Edited March 16, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

@Leo GuraGuraGuraGuraGuraGuraGuraGuraGuraGura

Sorry this is a bug from my phone. How to escalate when sitting at a table, is sitting next as well as across from each other better? Holding hands is only possible next to each other, otherwise I would need to touch her leg and across romantic eye contact and more saiposexual romance would be possible. (Again very educated gal...)

Dude, the whole date has to be way more playful and active. You don't sit in one spot, you move around a lot. Walk around, bounce to various places.

And obviously you don't sit across from her at a table, you sit next to her. This is rule #1.

Quote

Squeezing butt, would love to do that playfully, I don't know why it feels like I have collective guilt about this, because of subtle shaming of skin color.

When you hug her, that's the perfect time to squeeze her ass. But don't do that on the first hug as that would be way too desperate. Do it when you feel she's comfortable with you and attracted. And don't make it feel needy. Do it playfully. In a socially calibrated way.

You can also poke her in the ass with your finger. And playfully slap her ass. Gently. Not seriously.

Quote

I am very consent oriented...

Lol. You will have to get over that.

Obviously in a calibrated way. Her body is yours. That's the proper mindset for seducing a woman. You should feel entitled to her body as long as she is attracted to you.

You should err on the side of over-escalation than under-escalation. If you overdo it she will correct you and you can dial it back one or two notches.

Edited March 16, 2023 by Leo Gura

[ValiantSalvatore]

Alright I bookmared this as GOD's advice cheers!

[ValiantSalvatore]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Dude, the whole date has to be way more playful and active. You don't sit in one spot, you move around a lot. Walk around, bounce to various places.

And obviously you don't sit across from her at a table, you sit next to her. This is rule #1.

What are other good avenues? We will meet at a cafe. I am checking out the city and bouncing points, as I am injured I am not as excited at times, so what are other good places if there are no "culutral events" to check out during day time? How to move to her place? It seems like a pretty decent chance to get laid, as it's close to her vacation time! 

I hope this will work out, she even post-poned the date and said yes. 
 

Edited March 16, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Leo Gura]

I like to do dates in large outdoor shopping centers, where there is endless little shops and the whole date is basically a stroll. I don't like to sit at a restuarant. You want to bounce around without having to drive.

Edited March 16, 2023 by Leo Gura

[ValiantSalvatore]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I like to do dates in large outdoor shopping centers, where there is endless little shops and the whole date is basically a stroll. I don't like to sit at a restuarant. You want to bounce around without having to drive.

Kk the place seems located in an area like this basically downtown in a shopping street in the middle of the city, endless shops many possibilties. I'll check we could even go to a park, most likely a nice surprise for her from all the activity. It's basically drinking a coffee having a little bite then strolling and checking venues... Hope this will work and the setup is fine. I check and adjust to potential interests. 

Shopping mall will most likely also work from the initial bounce from the coffee thingy. 

Thx for the tip, hope this will work, and she says yes.

Edited March 16, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Emerald]

18 hours ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

I am going to be very brief, as I've been on multiple dates now and generally my questions seem fine, yet I get the feedback the sexual connection is missing.

I have a date with a sexy chinese girl, and she does not drink alcohol, she said yes and I want to invite her for coffee (waffles etc.), if she does not drink that I'd recommend going to waffles and ice cream, there is no way she'll says no. She does not drink so that is awesome. 

• What are good conversational topics to sexualize a conversation, so I could be at the end, what are you up to? How about we watch movie/series x at your place? (I will drive to her city (35 min drive))
• We have a lot in common(hip-hop, swimming, beach, jolly and optimistic energetic, health focus that is integrated and not a gimmick), yet my injury holds me back from going full power into exercises, I am doing better currently and I have a doctors appointment today, to get more feedback.
• I think she deeply enjoys healthy sex, when I go from my intuition the ('pua' said I fucked up with 7 years experience, I know it was going to hook, you can't be true authenticity and experience in terms of analysis)

I don't know what this will be, yet I'd love to have a great time, how can I sexualize conversation and be flirty with her? I know I can basically talk a lot about her, as she is just very interesting, I am unsure how well is that going to hook and how to sexualize a conversation.

Here’s my recommendation of what I’ve generally liked being on the receiving end of…

I like it when a guy gives me an excuse to be closer to him (or at times, I’ve created the excuse).

For example, you could say, “Hey, let me show you this cool thing on my phone.” 

Maybe bring up a music video that you like that you want her to see… or maybe some photos of something cool you did.

Make sure it’s something that can spark a few minute long conversation at least.

This gives her an excuse to sit really close to you for an extended period of time.

And if she’s interested in getting physical with you (making out or sex) she will probably get as close as she has plausible deniability to do so.

And if she does sit very close… right next to you to where her legs are within an inch or two of yours… you can relax your leg and let it gently rest against hers as you talk about what you’re showing her.

Give yourself some plausible deniability in this. Make it to where she’ll know your intention if she’s interested… but not so obvious that it creates pressure or awkwardness.

And if she pulls her leg away, de-escalate slightly back to the platonic/friendly frame.

But if she lets you keep your leg there, (if you’re out in public) then scoot even closer and continue the conversation with your leg touching hers. And you can escalate further physical contact, like touching her hand or putting your arm around her.

This will create anticipation if you’re out in public, which will heighten her desire. Anticipation is the best aphrodisiac from a woman’s perspective.

But if you’re already alone with her you could also escalate this physical touch into a kiss… which could lead to sex.

[ValiantSalvatore]

3 hours ago, Emerald said:

Here’s my recommendation of what I’ve generally liked being on the receiving end of…

I like it when a guy gives me an excuse to be closer to him (or at times, I’ve created the excuse).

For example, you could say, “Hey, let me show you this cool thing on my phone.” 

Maybe bring up a music video that you like that you want her to see… or maybe some photos of something cool you did.

Make sure it’s something that can spark a few minute long conversation at least.

This gives her an excuse to sit really close to you for an extended period of time.

And if she’s interested in getting physical with you (making out or sex) she will probably get as close as she has plausible deniability to do so.

And if she does sit very close… right next to you to where her legs are within an inch or two of yours… you can relax your leg and let it gently rest against hers as you talk about what you’re showing her.

Give yourself some plausible deniability in this. Make it to where she’ll know your intention if she’s interested… but not so obvious that it creates pressure or awkwardness.

And if she pulls her leg away, de-escalate slightly back to the platonic/friendly frame.

But if she lets you keep your leg there, (if you’re out in public) then scoot even closer and continue the conversation with your leg touching hers. And you can escalate further physical contact, like touching her hand or putting your arm around her.

This will create anticipation if you’re out in public, which will heighten her desire. Anticipation is the best aphrodisiac from a woman’s perspective.

But if you’re already alone with her you could also escalate this physical touch into a kiss… which could lead to sex.

Sounds like some solid nudging. Thanks for the reminder to do this last date moved closer to me and wanted to show me something where she played the guitar, I dunno it was odd was we smoke cannabis openly (psychologists funny right), she was also dressed in a full orange dress. 

This legit is better more nuanced advice, that most men are like "get the skill it's so obvious" it is and it isn't. Next time I will err on the side of over-escalation and make the excuse smth. "There is something in your hair, brush hair away and make-out" a bit. Let's see I am in such a business mode at times. 

Fun is the best option from that minds perspective tuning into my body is the biggest b.s advice you can give me, for various reasons. Most are to unskilled to even notice someone is in their body, besides they exhibit that energy actively. 

Edited March 17, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Emerald]

40 minutes ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

Sounds like some solid nudging. Thanks for the reminder to do this last date moved closer to me and wanted to show me something where she played the guitar, I dunno it was odd was we smoke cannabis openly (psychologists funny right), she was also dressed in a full orange dress. 

This legit is better more nuanced advice, that most men are like "get the skill it's so obvious" it is and it isn't. Next time I will err on the side of over-escalation and make the excuse smth. "There is something in your hair, brush hair away and make-out" a bit. Let's see I am in such a business mode at times. 

Fun is the best option from that minds perspective tuning into my body is the biggest b.s advice you can give me, for various reasons. Most are to unskilled to even notice someone is in their body, besides they exhibit that energy actively. 

Yes, definitely cut loose and have fun. Be social like you would with any other person. Build rapport through laughing together and relating to each other in conversation.

Women respond most to having a friendly human connection with a man with good conversation, banter, and mild to moderate flirtation.

But as you escalate things physically, the most important thing you can do is to read the subtle sub-communication that’s happening.

It’s the body language and how she responds to your touch that will give you the sense for whether or not to advance a step or take a step back.

[supremeyingyang]

18 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

And obviously you don't sit across from her at a table, you sit next to her. This is rule #1.

100% agree on this, however often when I do this the women responds 'that this is not how a date is supposed to be', sitting next a her date is like to sit next to her father as a child. I don't know if that is a german phenomemdon.

At first I was baffled.

Now I laugh it away: (I act over dramatically shocked) ,So THAT's your kink!' (dadaDAAM) or (look at her silent for 5 Seconds): 'You need be more open minded -- and by the way greet your Dad from me. Good man.' or (I wear glasses) 'I can't see you from across the table' (said in a dead serious dry way). Etc. Etc. Just some freestyle ideas;)

Edited March 17, 2023 by supremeyingyang

[ValiantSalvatore]

50 minutes ago, supremeyingyang said:

I don't know if that is a german phenomemdon.

LEGIT MY THINKING 1000000=%%%%%%%%%%!!!!!!!!!! THESE PEOPLE ARE SUCH SCARDY CATS OMFG. 

[supremeyingyang]

48 minutes ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

LEGIT MY THINKING 1000000=%%%%%%%%%%!!!!!!!!!! THESE PEOPLE ARE SUCH SCARDY CATS OMFG. 

But WHY is that so?

[ValiantSalvatore]

11 minutes ago, supremeyingyang said:

But WHY is that so?

6w5 ISTJ country, these guys are built to be cowards and robots. You have to warm them up somehow, the fault of a type 6 aka weakness is cowardice. It's so apparent. From a personality perspective. From a real world perspective it's the amount of order etc. (Same type 6 spectrum).

I dunno I am very cognitive, when I move into the body you often get these way to woo-woo people, there is nothing concrete. The girl I dated above was turkish and from Antalya..beautiful gal and very open, also extremely cognitive this is why I was so unsure, at the date, she said fuck it let's some cannabis in the sense of. Nobody cares it's not that bad you know.

https://www.personality-database.com/profile/50643/germany-countries-and-regions-mbti-personality-type

I know already with a bit of courage you get so many numbers and dates. This is the gift of a type 6. I never strategically did this to just get a girlfriend etc. It's crazy competitive when you consider how educated these people become imo and night clubs are legit a heaven I notice atm, from all this order etc.

Also very strong orange status orientation at times. With more greenish areas, you can get away with more and get to know more women usually also more fun festivals etc. Are mostly Orange/green - Green/orange imo. The very German ones are pure Green-Red. 

Edited March 17, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

Yes, definitely cut loose and have fun. Be social like you would with any other person. Build rapport through laughing together and relating to each other in conversation.

Women respond most to having a friendly human connection with a man with good conversation, banter, and mild to moderate flirtation.

But as you escalate things physically, the most important thing you can do is to read the subtle sub-communication that’s happening.

It’s the body language and how she responds to your touch that will give you the sense for whether or not to advance a step or take a step back.

Thanks I hope she will reply, I made all of my dates laugh and banter till now, physical escalation is the biggest obstacle till now. Making out is just building connection there is nothing to it etc. From the experiences I had etc. 

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, supremeyingyang said:

100% agree on this, however often when I do this the women responds 'that this is not how a date is supposed to be',

1) Some girls will be uptight and prudish. You must calibrate to her comfort level. If she tells you to back off, then you back off. But at least try.

2) It's probably because you set a formal date vibe. Your vibe is very important. If you set up a formal date to a fancy restaurant then she will start to get certain formal expectations.

3) It is not some requirement that you sit side by side with her. Your game should be flexible enough that you can seduce a girl whether you're sitting next to her or across from her. Be more creative and flexible! There are so many ways to do physical escalation.

Edited March 17, 2023 by Leo Gura

[ValiantSalvatore]

I missed also some texting game, as she was personally very sensually oriented, I could have said I could give her a massage/rub for her hurt shoulder. I will text her that, as she is not replying with other ideas. As I get 9w8 pastor, love bear bias. (Triggers the living shit out of me), when someone considers my skin color to be black (which is rare) I am so white it's legit like I am a snow-brown chamelon. I am legit almost as white as Leo, when I turn around my arm, and my father is pitch black. It's odd to describe. These are mostly projections of dating, many who are not used to the survival paradigm do not see with 33% accuracy.

I presume sitting accross each other would give more leeway to play around with legs and the feet, as well as have sexual eye contact, initiate conversation to move over to her etc. I legit would enjoy dating more with health I would even invite her for jogging, and surfing running with dogs. It's very annoying. If she connects I can invite her for swimming and dragon boat stuff. As well as the classic, can I try your food, oh so yummy. 

To be more sensual the point is, I am very sensetive and learning from other sensetives is also fantastic. A friend of mine noticed how a girl likes to play with the beer bottle and subtely licked it etc. While I was focused on the stripper in front of me, with full masculine concentration. (He said it was so overt)

He did smth. and she pulled him into the bathroom and they had sex in a strip club... while her brother was in there! We convinced them somehow to join, and she even had a boyfriend. On some level this was fked, yet she legit initiated that. I did not see it with my own eyes, all I know they were gone, for like some time (which scared my friend). 

Edited March 17, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[supremeyingyang]

14 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

1) Some girls will be uptight and prudish. You must calibrate to her comfort level. If she tells you to back off, then you back off. But at least try.

2) It's probably because you set a formal date vibe. Your vibe is very important. If you set up a formal date to a fancy restaurant then she will start to get certain formal expectations.

3) It is not some requirement that you sit side by side with her. Your game should be flexible enough that you can seduce a girl whether you're sitting next to her or across from her. Be more creative and flexible! There are so many ways to do physical escalation.

Thanks for your reply, all legit points.

If the date is fun for both, it's a good date - including that people sometimes just don't like each other. If that is the case it's good as well. No need 'to close a deal'. What I'm selling is good and there are people waiting across the block.

Handling chaos is a necessity, the early Tyler RSD methods showed how useless it is to control anything - especially in dating.

Edited March 17, 2023 by supremeyingyang

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Leo Gura Any possible deep experienced based advice on how to get laid on the first date during day time? It's not my ultimate goal more intimacy and physical contact, is the idea. We'll be going to an espresso bar, for espresso and some dessert, and then stroll it's a sunday also, and she is leaving on vacation for 3 weeks in April. It's a bit to much of a challenge as it's not in my city, 35 minute drive away. Although any signs and pointers you could gift us? She seems pretty cautious, yet highly open and just busy (classic 4w3 & 3w4 in case that seems interesting as well as is helpful), sunflower type girl, no alcohol, sports and good living. I'd prefer to just be chill, still you never fully know. 

I get more I'd prefer to be your girlfriend vibes from her, and we have things in common. The advice could be applied more generally, so it could yield value for all, I did not think about it, when I opened the thread, yet it seems @supremeyingyang gained some value out of this. 

Would be cool to have an answer we are meeting tomorrow, seems like again a rare high yellow SD range date. Otherwise nobody would engage in this orange is way to superficial and my profile is way to Green - Orange with a tidbit of Yellow/Turquoise.





 

Edited March 18, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore