DMT journal

[Oppositionless]

today I had a succesful attempt!

once again I made it to sleep paralysis during a daytime nap. I knew once I heard that loud dmt ringing noise that it was my chance,

I tried a few different exit techniques and boom, there I was high above the couch as if I was reaaally tall standing over myself

the room looked alien, very clearly my own but also… different. it’s hard to explain.

it only lasted a few seconds, I think it would have lasted longer but I was caught off guard by the alien vibes I was getting and the fact that the ringing was louder this time. In my dream I did dmt out of the vape pen again. Dreaming about it is weird. my unconscious mind is still trying to process that intensity?

you can blur the line between asleep and awake through consciousness.

 

Edited March 25, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

 

you can’t prove you’re all that is, but you cannot disprove it. 

thats a very lebnizian monad statement. windowless. no access to the outside world. scary?! to the self

in my next life I’ll not care enough to worry ?

Edited March 25, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

it is infinitely more useful to manifest inmer qualities and talents than external things.

[Oppositionless]

I’ve experienced a degree of sufering so intense that it has shut down my mind demonstrated my immortality as pure consciousness

 

[Oppositionless]

(spoiler alert)

LOVE WINS

[Oppositionless]

my life is a bubble. inside the bubble, everything is as I imagine it to be. outside the bubble, nothing is as I imagine it to be.

[Oppositionless]

Armchair skeptic : it [any random sober spiritual experience] is just a DMT trip.

the DMT trip :

 

Edited April 23, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

I wanna make music that awakens everyone who listens to it, like Shpongle.

 

imagine hearing that outro sampled in a pop song. so many third eyes would open.

 

[Oppositionless]

subjective idealism and direct realism are identical philosophical positions, and the position of every single consciousness on earth excluding human beings

how obvious it would be if you were a cat

 

Edited May 15, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

Jorge Luis Borges (“The Aleph”) was a South American short story author who helped to pioneer the “magical realism” genre. mystical phenomena would appear in mundane contexts.

but he wasn’t just a writer , he was also a philosopher. and the magical realism featured in his novels was representative of the magical realism found in this world.

https://medium.com/literary-impulse/the-circular-ruins-eea1bb0e3adc

I’ve often wondered whether, when thinking about someone I am having a conversation and whether when I dream of someone I really am seeing them .

Edited May 19, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

Last night's mushroom trip was one of the worst / most important experiences of my life. It's hard to explain what I experienced in words, but I'm going to try.

First off, I want to say that I approached this trip with a naive, arrogant attitude. I remember reading Leo's blog post, with the person saying he understood psychedelics because he'd taken two grams of mushrooms, and DMT / salvia are standing behind him all menacingly. I thought to myself, well I've done dmt so a high dose of mushrooms should be cake, I just wanna have a fun trip. So I made tea with about 6 grams of some very potent mushrooms.

Holy shit, holy shit, holy fucking shit.

The first half of the trip is what I would call "descent into madness." It felt like I was filled with all the evil and darkness in the world. I became a demon, I lost my humanity. I saw my inner psychotic. I thought I'd lost my mind, or rather I thought that I had always been insane, and that I was supposed to live away from society because there would simply be no chance of functioning in the real world.

The second half of the trip is where things get interesting. I'm going to call this death / alien consciousness. I experienced a type of ego dissolution so powerful that I struggled to tell if I was still alive. I understood what Leo means by experiencing physical death on psychedelics. I thought about how my parents would go on without me. I wanted to send them a sign that I was still alive, in this other dimension. I understood what Leo means by alien consciousness, but it was a different flavor, not a blissful alien consciousness but a demonic alien consciousness. The tiny iota of human identity left in me could do nothing but repeat, like a mantra, "when I get back I'm going to have such a wild story to tell." It's frustrating because it's only been a eight hours since my trip and I still feel like I can only communicate 1% of what I experienced. I remember being terrified of falling asleep, because I thought if I went to sleep I would permanently cease to exist. Several minutes felt like hours, during physical death / alien consciousness time pretty much came to a standstill.

lessons:

DON'T UNDERESTIMATE MUSHROOMS. mushrooms are definitely a trickster spirit that will absolutely fuck you if you don't respect them. my dmt trips didn't take me even 10% as deep down the rabbit hole as this high dose mushroom trip. and the fact that it lasted for hours rather than minutes, holy shit.

alien consciousness is real. you can experience what it's like to be an infinite hyper-dimensional living geometric machine.

physical death is different from mere "ego death."  I've experienced ego death numerous times. ego death on ketamine is fucking blissful. ego death on low doses of dmt is disorienting but in a few minutes it's over. this was different. this was the real deal. death death. it was terrifying, but also liberating.

the line between sanity and insanity is thin. take care of yourself.

that's all for now, if I have some more insights and more details to share I will.

I don't see myself ever taking mushrooms again. lmao. but I couldn't have asked for a "better" final trip with them.

 

[Oppositionless]

demonic isn't the right word.. it wasn't evil. but it was completely overwhelming and terrifying, like the cosmic horror novels of Lovecraft. A good analogy would be to say that I became Cthulu, if Cthulu was made out of hyperspatial non-euclidian geometry.

Edited May 25, 2023 by Oppositionless