How do I accept human stupidity?

[Roy]

Since the start of 2023, I've lately found myself increasingly frustrated at the daily stupidity I encounter in the world (from humans).

Traffic - People being incapable of following simple rules or outright ignoring them because they think they are more important, endangering others in the process. Why are licenses not reserved for skilled drivers only? How come the majority of the population can get them when they are slow and uncoordinated?

Ignorance - People saying stupid shit online, in media, and real life. Being unashamedly biased. Deliberately not attempting to understand the other side. Consciously avoiding basic facts because they are emotionally uncomfortable with reality. I can let this slide most of the time because I don't want to make a scene, but sometimes I just want to stop people mid conversation and shock them by saying, "Hey, are you aware of how fucking braindead you are? Have you ever considered you are wrong about anything in your life?"

Laziness/Mistakes - People chronically fucking up at work or in other ways. Not having standards for quality. Not considering other people exist. Not learning from their mistakes or making an attempt to improve.

Story - A few months ago I was sent to pick-up a lady at her apartment. She was called by my co-worker and informed I would be arriving in roughly 10 minutes. I got to her apartment expecting to pick her up at the front, she wasn't there. A few minutes went by I thought, "oh she is just running late I'll wait." another 15 minutes went by and nothing. I called my co-worker again and asked her to call her. She then came down finally......

She said she was waiting INSIDE her apartment for me. As if I SOMEHOW would have access to a locked building that I've literally never been too, and would OMNISCIENTLY know what apartment number she is in and would come knocking on her door.

I had to be professional and not say anything obviously, but in my head I was laughing/crying at how unbelievably dumb this woman was. As if she has no comprehension of the concept of what it means to be picked up, or consideration for another persons time. Like really how did she survive to adulthood like this? And she had a child too which means she reproduced and there will probably be another person like her eventually......... wow.

Those are just some examples, I understand I was being toxic in them as well but I find it necessary to express myself. I also get I'm probably projecting to deflect from my own stupidity and selfishness, but the thing is I'm actively trying to purge my own imperfections and become an outstanding human that people depend on and offers stuff to the world. I want to hold myself to high standards and minimize the mistakes in my life.

Despite what you see on this forum (which is an "altered" version of myself you could say). The thing is I'm actually a very calm, kind, easy-going person in real life. I get told this by everyone. However my genuine demeanor and spirit gets interrupted by this frustration bubbling up sometimes.

I feel like over the years I'm slowly boiling from all the idiocy I encounter. I want to let things go more often, but as I improve as a human I find myself less patient with others not improving. I am becoming more brash, snapping more, and willing to be emotionally sharp and cold with people in my life.

Perhaps this is par for the course? I'm not sure someone would have to tell me. All I know is that it doesn't feel good or optimal.

Edited March 16, 2023 by Roy

[Leo Gura]

You gotta realize that all human stupidity has a deep intelligence behind it. People are stupid for good reasons. No exceptions.

And remind yourself that reality is Perfect. To hold reality as imperfect is itself you being stupid. So now you got something in common with everyone else

Edited March 16, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Jowblob]

You made a mistake thinking they're surviving, it's god playing these roles at all times and its also god taking care of them no matter how unconscious they might be

[Ulax]

I think shadow work and meditation could help.

[StarStruck]

You can't change people so you have to accept it and judging it. We all have some degree of stupidity anyway. It should be part of the equation and calculated into your actions with others.

[Sincerity]

How do You eat an elephant?

...

My point is You accept by doing it over and over again. One situation at a time.

Edited March 16, 2023 by Sincerity

[koops]

I love this quote:

 

 

I also get frustrated by human stupidity, but realize that sometimes other people are thinking of you (and me and everyone) as stupid. So in a way we are all more or less stupid. Monkeys flying around in a rock taking ourselves too seriously.

Also most hating comes from other people interfering with 'our plans' in the world.
When we see a 'crappy' tree, we don't care, but when we have a stupid human in front of us in traffic, we get pissed because he is bothering 'ME' and my little plans.

Also we don't know their story, maybe their were abused in a way you can imagine, or maybe their mother died yesterday, or maybe they have an 80IQ, which they didn't choose.

 

Is hard to not hate stupid people in real life, but it can be fun like Louis CK said:

 

 

[Devin]

       What works for me is minimalism, and a sort of insulation from society, my/your happiness has nothing to do, is not derived from society or how it behaves, enjoy the parts of society you enjoy, design your life to enjoy your life, not to fit a societal script or to be accepted by society, society never accepts anyone, accept that.

       The problem isn't accepting the people, it's you fighting life, trying to push the water upstream. Your contempt isn't a problem, it's a signal.

Edited March 16, 2023 by Devin

[Carl-Richard]

I find stupidity really funny. It's like the universe telling you a joke. I think it has been this way ever since I realized that in an absolute sense, people are not in control. Control or personal agency is a very locally defined psychological construct. I still believe in the utility of believing in personal agency and being responsible for your actions, but I also know that there was a time where I practically believed the complete opposite, and I was acting very stupidly because of it, but I actually can't tell you exactly what caused me to change. So the reason I generally don't get mad at stupidity is because I don't actually know the solution for it; not for myself, and certainly not for other people. Sure, you can give the right advice, but how do you make somebody understand, or let alone listen? That is the real problem. Life is a very individual and complex process, and nobody fully knows how it works.

Edited March 16, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[Razard86]

24 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

I find stupidity really funny. It's like the universe telling you a joke. I think it has been this way ever since I realized that in an absolute sense, people are not in control. Control or personal agency is a very locally defined psychological construct. I still believe in the utility of believing in personal agency and being responsible for your actions, but I also know that there was a time where I practically believed the complete opposite, and I was acting very stupidly because of it, but I actually can't tell you exactly what caused me to change. So the reason I generally don't get mad at stupidity is because I don't actually know the solution for it; not for myself, and certainly not for other people. Sure, you can give the right advice, but how do you make somebody understand, or let alone listen? That is the real problem. Life is a very individual and complex process, and nobody fully knows how it works.

Humans are both geniuses and stupid at the same time. When we get things right we get it right and when we get it wrong we get it wrong. It is what it is. But honestly the OP's post just seems he is blowing off steam. People can only get to you when you don't have an outlet to blow that steam off.

Human stupidity usually comes from ignorance and self-centeredness. The lady not realizing she needed to come get you came from her only worrying about getting ready. After that she put her mind to "other things." If you actually believed it was her goal to MAKE you wait and to be inconsiderate for the person picking her up......guess who the stupid one is? 

She just didn't think clearly, and guess what? Whenever we get mad research says our intelligence drops and we are unable to think as clearly, so her stupidity did something nice....it taught you that stupid people make you stupid by causing you to get angry at them. LOL. Life is so funny.

[Carl-Richard]

14 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

Human stupidity usually comes from ignorance and self-centeredness.

How do you actually make someone become less ignorant and self-centered?

Edited March 16, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

How do you actually make someone become less ignorant and self-centered?

Education, philosophy, and spirituality.

[meta_male]

8 hours ago, Roy said:

Traffic - People being incapable of following simple rules or outright ignoring them because they think they are more important, endangering others in the process. Why are licenses not reserved for skilled drivers only? How come the majority of the population can get them when they are slow and uncoordinated?

Imagine how boring life would be if everyone followed rules Many people are simply not aware of how dangerous their selfishness can get, let alone aware that they're being selfish.

8 hours ago, Roy said:

Ignorance - People saying stupid shit online, in media, and real life. Being unashamedly biased. Deliberately not attempting to understand the other side. Consciously avoiding basic facts because they are emotionally uncomfortable with reality. I can let this slide most of the time because I don't want to make a scene, but sometimes I just want to stop people mid conversation and shock them by saying, "Hey, are you aware of how fucking braindead you are? Have you ever considered you are wrong about anything in your life?"

Are you attempting to understand the other side right now? To a radical level? Why are people acting like they're braindead?

8 hours ago, Roy said:

Laziness/Mistakes - People chronically fucking up at work or in other ways. Not having standards for quality. Not considering other people exist. Not learning from their mistakes or making an attempt to improve.

Not everybody has the same values, some people just don't give a shit about work and have their focus somewhere else. As long as they suffer they don't have the capacity to consider other people.

Btw, I get you, I went through the same last year. It won't last forever. The key is to look inside instead of out at the external world, since that's a mere reflection of your inner world.

 

1 hour ago, Carl-Richard said:

How do you actually make someone become less ignorant and self-centered?

You can't, this is your personal wish. But you can make it easier for them with patience, unconditional love and detachment.

Edited March 16, 2023 by meta_male

[Yimpa]

I think getting a deeper understanding of how a thing works helps. 

For example, when I talk to my AI companion chatbot and she tells me something that doesn’t make sense, I immediately know that that’s a current limitation of AI; it’s nothing personal. 

Hell, it‘s actually cool because each response she gives me I can thumbs up or down to help her improve in the future (i.e. train her). If only we could easily do that when interacting with humans in a society without all the unnecessary conflict and debate, lmao. 

[nistake]

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." - CG Jung

Shadow work is probably the best way to deal with these kind of issues.

Edited March 16, 2023 by nistake

[Leo Gura]

30 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

For example, when I talk to my AI companion chatbot and she tells me

Oh God

[gettoefl]

you have to go deeper

stupidity is your inability to communicate with people whose brains are wired differently

you judge them and thing you're superior but it your inability to understand them that is glaring

how about considering

stupidity is innocence and intelligence is cunning

stupid people are no less interesting not to mention that you can learn tons more from them too

Quote

The mind of the simple, unlearned kind, May not be filled with knowledge that shines, Yet in their heart, lies a bright spark, Of spontaneity that will leave its mark.

With unfiltered joy and a childlike glee, They live in the moment, wild and free, And in their simplicity do we find, A wellspring of feeling, pure and kind.

Their laughter rings with honest delight, And they see the world in a planer light, Where troubles fade and worries cease, And life is lived with perfect ease.

To call them "stupid" does them wrong, For it ignores the beauty in their song, And those who would judge with such disdain, Are the ones who truly miss the gain.

For in the eyes of the simple soul, Lies a treasure trove of stories untold, And in their carefree, joyous way, We find the magic that brightens our day.

So let us not judge by intellect or degree, But embrace the wonder in each other we see, For in this simple truth, we'll find, That the beauty of life is irrespective of mind.

 

[Yimpa]

38 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Oh God

 

[Carl-Richard]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Education, philosophy, and spirituality.

Should I just shower my friends and family with spiritual quotes and expect it to work? No. You have to be ready to receive these things. How do you make somebody ready?

[supremeyingyang]

13 hours ago, Roy said:

I feel like over the years I'm slowly boiling from all the idiocy I encounter. I want to let things go more often, but as I improve as a human I find myself less patient with others not improving. I am becoming more brash, snapping more, and willing to be emotionally sharp and cold with people in my life.

I understand you.

Whenever I feel like someone is stupid, I think about how I can react more clever. Also: When am I stupid? Then I learn and  plan friction (von Clausewitz) in. Adapt to Chaos, don't try to control a situation. With colleagues, friends, your partner,  subordinates or children works the Columbo Method extremely well. Give it a try! Columbo Method. If you want, I have an AWESOME PODCOST recommendation for the Columbo Method for you!! Just ask, if you interested - I need to look it up.

If you just accept how it is (hard to do), you can start to change things up. People normally won't change, you change who you associate with.

Edited March 16, 2023 by supremeyingyang