Jacob Morres

Paying for the [first] date

11 posts in this topic

Yes, 50/50, no?

a lot of girls still expect guys to pay for dates, even in progressive areas 

What do yall think? 

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Just pay and don't even make it a big deal. Some girls will want to split the bill or invite you out next time.

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Pay for what is the queastion?


There is nothing safe with playing it safe.

 

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Coffee? Yea, just pay, or at least offer to pay.

If it's a meal and she gets turned off by you not offering to pay $40+ for someone you know barely anything about, you probably dodged a bullet.

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It can work either way.

I've literally been so cheap that I've forced girls to pay for their own coffee.

I've also sometimes paid for dinner.

I've also done a lot of splitting the bill.

It all works. Depends on the situation and type of girl. If a girl truly likes you she will not mind about this. If she's a golddigger type then it will turn her off that you don't pay.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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Once I paid for her coffee, she got upset and wanted to pay for dessert. I mean whatever... 

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Paying puts her in her feminine.

I rather paying + I am old-school.

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If it's something low cost like coffee/snacks just go with the flow, no reason to insist on splitting.

However if it's dinner or something more substantial and the bill comes, look right at the host and say "we'll split it." Don't break from that frame or make it a question that puts the pressure on her. Most women want men to make decisions on behalf of the couple anyways, and if she is toxic and was hoping you'd pay for a meal with no intentions of seeing you again you dodged a bullet and saved some money.

This isn't 1955 anymore, a man shouldn't be expected to pay.

I set good boundaries on this in every relationship I'm in. I've literally never had a fight with any girlfriends about money before. I make it clear we both contribute financially to the relationship exactly 50% each or as close as possible. That way it never becomes an issue that could corrupt the relationship.

When I lived with my first girlfriend we would sit down once a month for 20 minutes, get some tea and cuddle on the couch, and calculate everything so we could see if either one of us owed money to the other person.


hrhrhtewgfegege

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Your first date should not be anything fancy, a drink or coffee is perfect. Therefore even if you pay for her the added cost will be low. Personally I think it is good to pay just not to ruin the mood and make things uncomfortable. Paying for a 4 dollar coffee does not make you a "provider" or anything like that as these Red Pill idiots make it seem. If you do fancy dinners then it is a bit more different, I would avoid that.

If you cannot afford 5 dollars extra for a date, then you have bigger issues in your life than lack of women.

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by principle i believe it it should be equal 50/50

especially since most girls split 50/50 after the first date (this is a non-negotiable for me unless she's suffering financially, or isn't entitled to me paying for her stuff)

 but im just worried that ill lose otherwise good girls by holding to that principle for the first date

i might just go for free + coffee dates instead like you guys mention 

 

> It all works. Depends on the situation and type of girl. If a girl truly likes you she will not mind about this

that's true

Edited by Jacob Morres

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If you can afford it, sure.

If not, not.

If I know I make 10x the money she does, I would have to be an absolute douchebag not to treat her.

Edited by Nilsi

“Did you ever say Yes to a single joy? O my friends, then you said Yes to all woe as well. All things are chained and entwined together, all things are in love; if ever you wanted one moment twice, if ever you said: ‘You please me, happiness! Abide, moment!’ then you wanted everything to return!” - Friedrich Nietzsche
 

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