I asked Reddit whether cold approach is ethical or not. It was a mistake

[fabger]

I'm an introvert with some dating experience who wants to start approaching and socializing. I wasnt sure of the ethical side of cold approach so I turned to Reddit.(Exredpill sub)

They disagreed saying its weird and not okay to do, unethical. Now I feel guilty and uneasy around this subject. Victim mindset is coming back. 

I'm hoping to get some advice knowing this is probably the sanest forum on the internet.

[Leo Gura]

Lol

Reddit is cancer. At least certain subreddits. Stick to psychedelic Reddit. That's the good stuff.

Edited March 14, 2023 by Leo Gura

[something_else]

54 minutes ago, fabger said:

I'm an introvert with some dating experience who wants to start approaching and socializing. I wasnt sure of the ethical side of cold approach so I turned to Reddit.(Exredpill sub)

They disagreed saying its weird and not okay to do, unethical. Now I feel guilty and uneasy around this subject. Victim mindset is coming back. 

I'm hoping to get some advice knowing this is probably the sanest forum on the internet.

 

If you have good social skills, it isn't unethical to talk to girls you see out and about occasionally who you think are cute. You should not feel bad about that. The problem is with really spammy daygame where you are going out intending to approach a whole bunch of girls in a single day. That's what reddit thinks you are referring to when you say "cold approach" and that's what they don't like.

If you frame it specifically about cold approach when you're out at night, there is nothing wrong with that and I suspect reddit would agree. If someone shames you for that, they're thick as mince and probably never go outside.

The important differentiating factor with cold approach during the day is your intent:

• Did you leave your house intending to go and approach a whole bunch of girls who are just going about their day? That's at best ethically questionable, and most people are going to view that as creepy or weird.
• Did you see a girl you think is cute while you are out getting groceries and you want to go and ask her out? That's totally fine and most people will not see this as creepy if you possess the social skills to talk to her without being creepy.

 

[ZenSwift]

I remember someone made a really inspiring post about day game on reddit and ALL the replies he got was negative as fuck, shutting him down.

 

This forum is the only place I know that has a positive, healthy perception of pickup. Especially reading Leo's posts on game has helped me a lot to frame it in my mind correctly. As I noticed that it is very uncommon to frame the process of pickup in a positive manner.

[Roy]

lol technology and social media has made us so autistic that it's now considered "unethical" by most people to talk to people you don't know.

I hate how cliché it is, but it really does feel like we are the modern Romans, and we are watching our civilization deteriorate in real time.

[Zen LaCroix]

Cold approach is taboo. I actually think it is one of the most taboo things in western society. Liberals, conservatives, men and women, both old and young from various social classes often dislike cold approach for various reasons. Men cold approach women all the time. Men who have never even heard of cold approach just do it naturally. You can't ask for permission to approach women because you will not get it. You will realize when you approach that some girls like that you approached them. 

There was a book written in ancient Rome around 8 AD called Ars Amatoria by Ovid about how to pick up women. Thats literally over 2,000 years ago. This is nothing new. Men have been approaching women and trying to form sexual relations for thousands of years!

[Jacob Morres]

Talking to girls (and developing social skills and with woman) isnt inherently unethical

There's def ways you can do it with good intention and social acceptableness ?

 

Edited March 15, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[Arcangelo]

Bro reddit should be illegal, it belongs to the dark web.

Seriously.

[Leo Gura]

To be fair, many PUAs are deeply unethical. But you don't have to be like them.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbtKQDJdXWU

 

[The0Self]

They probably don’t know what you’re talking about. Cold approach literally means meeting a human of the opposite sex for the first time with the intention of getting to know them and possibly starting a relationship of however short or long. How could such a broad topic have any negative associations without held-biases or confusion over what’s actually being referred to being a large contributor? It can’t. They’re biased and/or confused over what it means. Good game doesn’t look like game, it looks accidental, because it basically is.

[something_else]

8 hours ago, The0Self said:

They probably don’t know what you’re talking about.

 

They think he's talking about standing on a high street and approaching every girl who goes by, because that's more or less what cold approach traditionally meant.

[Bando]

There are better subforms on reddit to ask those types of questions r/seduction is pretty good for people who are new to this kind of stuff last time i checked

[The0Self]

2 hours ago, Bando said:

There are better subforms on reddit to ask those types of questions r/seduction is pretty good for people who are new to this kind of stuff last time i checked

Yeah that’s probably the best subreddit for this topic.