Posted March 16, 2023 (edited) I’ll just add: It’s not impossible. It can, however, be just about the hardest thing ever. Looking back, it’s nothing, but yeah, like anything else, it’s something you really just have to get honest about how badly you want. Go figure. I’ll add again: For me it was so bad, for the first girl I approached sober (already had dozens of approaches with alcohol assistance), I was so nervous I asked her her name but even after she told me hers I forgot to tell her mine… visibly shaking… and blushing. About 7 approaches later, it wasn’t too bad. That was after years of just working on general/social anxiety. Years prior to that I was so anxious I couldn’t even give presentations in class (it’s not that I had difficulty; I couldn’t do them because I’d physically be shaking too hard for my words to be heard). It wasn’t an easy road. To some, death would be preferable to the work required to get good at cold approach. I would certainly NOT say that was true for me, but I DO believe I was far closer to that than the vast majority of men. I did it, it was worth it, I’m still not “done improving,” and now I can’t imagine living without this skill and I’m very glad I took the plunge. Be prepared to be humiliated. If you’re afraid of that, honestly consider whether suffering some humiliation is worth it for getting good at understanding non-platonic interactions with women via personal experience. It was for me and it probably is for you, you’re just afraid to come to terms with it and stop fucking around. As the suffering from loneliness/etc increasingly gets worse, the scale will tip further and further until your decision will happen automatically. You already know this; you’re masturbating and victimizing yourself otherwise. Oh and btw, do you have excessive blushing? If you don’t, then I don’t want to hear a single peep out of you, because you don’t even have a clue how much harder cold approach could be for you, and just how lucky you are to be so well-poised for getting good at this skill… just by virtue of not having that “disability.” And even if you do have it, it very much can still be done. Luckily mine went away to a large degree with meditation practice, but I still had to roll with it when it still occasionally happened, and eventually realized it didn’t really matter… but tell that to someone with excessive blushing. So forgive me if I don’t have much compassion for these matters at this point. fwiw Edited March 16, 2023 by The0Self Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
