Finishing Too Quickly In Sex

[rrodriguez11]

For these past few months, I've been having sex a couple of times a week.  During these last weeks though, I've been having trouble lasting more than 5 minutes. Any tips on how to last longer?

[Jhonny]

Foreplay.Foreplay.Foreplay.

[abgespaced]

Learn Tantric breathing.

[Shin]

Stop watching porn.

[rrodriguez11]

@Shin Wouldn't that make it worse?

[jse]

Visualization - think of your grandmother. 

[Bob84]

Cock hero  Condom with numbing cream  having a ruined orgasm before .

[pluto]

Its all in the mind brother, keep your partners orgasm in mind not yours, focus on pleasing them and master the art of breathing

Sometimes its a subconscious trigger you have created and need to de-program and re-pattern thoughts on the situation.

Yes porn makes it worse. Try without porn and not an actual ejaculation in mind but pure enjoyment like sex should be and possibly stop just before, take a breather then start and again and keep doing that. It helps train the body to control it much better. Hope this helps

Edited March 11, 2017 by pluto

[abgespaced]

You can learn to control it physically so that you can stay mentally present with your partner. 

Kegel exercises and edging are two ways you can build and control the muscles that contract during orgasm.

Learning how these muscles work for you will not only help prevent finishing too quickly; they are the foundation of developing great sexual powers such as multiple orgasms, full body orgasms and transcendental sex.

[Michael569]

@rrodriguez11 look into Kegel exercises.  Also planking is an amazing way to boost your muscles in this area. This can have effect on your erection, orgasm and endurance. Kegel are really easy to do and I suggest adding plank to your exercise routine. Even to days when you are not exercising. 

Agree with what was said, foreplay is super super important. That way it doesn't take very long to satisfy your partner before you are done. Deploy stop and go techniques. Some guys are completely selfish and as soon as they feel the climax approaching, they just go for it. Take a break, and work on your partner orally in meanwhile to delay your orgasm. 

Focus on your intensity, sometimes slower is better. Don't try to "sprint", take it easy. What you see in porn is complete bullshit and most girls  like when you take it easy and slow. Of course there is always place for dirty and rough sex. 

And final advice, not sure if you use condoms but if you don't , perhaps look into delays. They really do the job although it leaves you with rather weird feeling on your pp 

 

 

 

Edited March 13, 2017 by Michael569
wording

[doheryourway]

The reasons for short sexual endurance could be following:

1) Fears to lose erection – therefore you are doing everything fast and your excitement rises quickly. Calm down and regulate the intensity of your movements.;

2) Anxious mind – you want to have sex, but at the same time you unconsciously want to last it only a short time, so that you can return to the unresolved problems, which have occupied your mind.

3) Anatomy of this particular girl - you maybe get too much stimulation even from regular positions with her (from which you usually got normal stimulation). Try another positions.

4) You allowed the girl to determine the speed of sex and you just followed, but your excitement grows uncontrollably. In this case you have to take the leading role back and choose the speed of sex, which is comfortable for you.

5) The location.  Analyze, where do you have sex. Is it a place where you are rather isolated from other people, or where someone suddenly/accidentally can catch or see you. By example, my excitement always grows faster if it is a sex with some public elements.

You can train your sexual endurance - masturbate for approximately 30 minutes and then finish, even while watching porn.

[ajasatya]

On 10/03/2017 at 3:12 AM, rrodriguez11 said:

@Shin Wouldn't that make it worse?

no. porn teaches you to have a distorted perspective about sex.

this problem happens because you're trying to inflate your ego with your own satisfaction and with your performance. you won't be free until you decide to connect deeply with your partner.

[Loreena]

1 hour ago, ajasatya said:

no. porn teaches you to have a distorted perspective about sex.

this problem happens because you're trying to inflate your ego with your own satisfaction and with your performance. you won't be free until you decide to connect deeply with your partner.

Your girlfriend is damn lucky

Your perspectives on love and sex are crystal clear almost like pure refined water. Not one flaw. No distortion. Rare to find such purity. Your partner should be proud to have someone like you. 

Edited March 17, 2017 by Loreena

[Evilwave Heddy]

20 hours ago, ajasatya said:

no. porn teaches you to have a distorted perspective about sex.

this problem happens because you're trying to inflate your ego with your own satisfaction and with your performance. you won't be free until you decide to connect deeply with your partner.

Reminded me of this.(forgive the weird language voiceover)

19 hours ago, Loreena said:

Your girlfriend is damn lucky

Your perspectives on love and sex are crystal clear almost like pure refined water. Not one flaw. No distortion. Rare to find such purity. Your partner should be proud to have someone like you. 

Ikr..I bet he ejaculates in slow motion.

Edited March 18, 2017 by Evilwave Heddy

[ajasatya]

@Evilwave Heddy good call!

@Loreena then i invite you to make someone proud to be with you. i invite you to inspire people with purity flowing through your thoughts, words and actions!

[GeorgeLawson]

I've been struggling with this one too, but realised that if you take it slower, and aim at 'pleasing her rather than yourself,' the climax is so much more satisfying. 

I found that reading 'Way of the Superior Man' by David Deida really helped me get in touch with my sexuality. Here are a couple of quotes I think might help you:

p.51 ‘Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration. The same is true about every moment with your woman, only doubly so. Not only is her simple existence a test for you, but one of her deepest pleasures in intimacy is testing you, and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge.’

a.k.a try and think of it as your woman testing you; she's seeing how much self-control you have so that she knows she can trust you in the relationship. This idea of 'testing for trust' is expanded upon in the next quote:

p.51 ‘The most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are Shiva, the divine masculine: unperturbable, totally loving, fully present, and all-pervading. She cannot move you, because you already are what you are, with or without her. She cannot scare you away, because you already penetrate her in fearless love, pervading her heart and body. She cannot distract you, because your one-pointed commitment to truth will not bend to her wiles. Feeling this hugeness of love and freedom in you, she can trust you, utterly, and surrender her testing in celebration of love.’

I wouldn't consider myself Shiva yet, and can give in to temptation quite easily, but this is definitely what I'm aiming for... Good luck!

Edited March 21, 2017 by GeorgeLawson
typo

[rrodriguez11]

This is really good advice! I sincerely appreciate all of your comments.

[Shin]

Learn tantric masturbation, then you'll laugh at your previous sex performance

[Dan Arnautu]

Be aware of your breathing and breathe slowly. If you pay attention you will often see that you breathe more and more shallow the closer you are to orgasm. If you consciously make your breaths slower (which also makes you less aroused, your focus being on the breath), you will last a lot longer.

Also, learn to give your girl a few orgasms before you even get to the penetration part. That will lift a lot of weight off your shoulders, knowing that even if you don't last long, she will be satisfied with the overall experience. Leo's videos on the topic are a good start.