Is it possible to completely change your life with hardcore meditation?

[Something Funny]

I want to change myself, and first of all my mind. I feel like it's currently so messed up because of the way I have been living up until now. Can I completely rewire my brain to become pure, calm, strong, focused, determined with really hardcore daily meditation sessions? 

Like if I meditate for 4 hours daily for the next 3 months? Will I transform into a different person?

[Carl-Richard]

I'm literally the proof of that.

[Something Funny]

@Carl-Richard can you share your story, please?

[Carl-Richard]

7 hours ago, Something Funny said:

@Carl-Richard can you share your story, please?

I was always an anxious kid. I was 18 when I got addicted to weed, started isolating myself, skipping school. Kept looping like that for almost 1.5 years, then came my turning point. I was getting more and more sucked into my own mind, my mental health was deteriorating, and one of my friends told me "you're acting weird", and it made me have a moment of self-awareness where I realized that I was going down the road of mental illness if I didn't do something about it. I had just started watching Leo's videos, and I stumbled upon "40 signs that you're neurotic", and it hit me like a ton of bricks. That is when I discovered self-improvement. Then shortly after, I discovered his videos on meditation and enlightenment, and I was instinctively drawn to that.

The true turning point was when I traveled to the mountains with my family for a one-week winter vacation. To understand what I'm about to talk about, you have to view this through the concept of "disruptive practices", i.e. behaviors that disrupt normal functioning and creates a contrast or a change in perspective, and sometimes it can lead to deep insights into the workings of your own mind. So going to the mountains with family made me have to break my weed habit (which was intense, daily heavy smoking), which put me in a severely disrupted state of pharmacological withdrawal. A side effect of weed withdrawal is a complete lack of sex drive, which also plunged me into a week of nofap, which is also a disruptive practice.

For that week, I had decided for the first time ever to engage in 24/7 active mindfulness practice (feeling into every bodily movement, being very deliberate and smooth about basic hand movements, intensely staring at objects as I would pick them up, controlling the breath, etc.). Also, skiing in the mountains cross-country, being in nature and listening to the silence was itself a disruptive practice relative to everyday life at home (sights, sounds, activities, etc.). Also, this was back when we had no WiFi, so no computer usage.

Then as if that wasn't enough, after coming home from that week, I decided to start doing seated meditations instead of going back to my weed habit, yet another disruptive practice. Then on nothing less than the 3rd meditation, I had my first sober mystical experience, and it pretty much changed me forever. How much of that was due to genetics I can never know for sure, but I think it's undeniable that the massive amounts of disruptive practices prior to that experience definitely had an effect. So when people say that meditation doesn't work for them, maybe the answer shouldn't be "do it more", but rather "what else are you doing?".

Edited March 13, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[Michal__]

If your goal is to become a better person then stick to a concentration technique. That is amazing for that purpose.

Don't do Vipassana until you build up your life, that will inevitably make you experience both spiritually pleasant states and spiritually unpleasant states (dark night of the soul) before being able to observe both with equanimity.

Serious contemplation should be done after having some sort of a base too.

Edited March 12, 2023 by Michal__

[Something Funny]

@Michal__ i am not sure what vipassana is. My plaan was to do a strong determination sitting with a do nothing technique and that's it. Trying to observe whatever is happening without controlling it.

[The Mystical Man]

2 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

So when people say that meditation doesn't work for them, maybe the answer shouldn't be "do it more", but rather "what else are you doing?".

I second that. Do meditation in addition to NoFap and going to the gym.

[Michal__]

Just now, Something Funny said:

@Michal__ i am not sure what vipassana is. My plaan was to do a strong determination sitting with a do nothing technique and that's it. Trying to observe whatever is happening without controlling it.

I'd advise you to stick to breath counting/breath observation.

Do nothing will inevitably lead to you having to face negative states too.

Also, literally all productivity is based on concentration.

Strong determination sits is a good idea. Except with a different technique than do nothing if your main goal at this time is to have a better life. Especially in a high dose.

 

[Carl-Richard]

1 minute ago, The Mystical Man said:

I second that. Do meditation in addition to NoFap and going to the gym.

Those three are literally the Holy Trinity of raising your energy levels.

[Something Funny]

2 minutes ago, Michal__ said:

Do nothing will inevitably lead to you having to face negative states too.

But that's what I want. I want to suffer and burn through all the crap inside of myself.

@Carl-Richard thank you. I actually avoided watching that video for a very long time now. I think I should. 

And hopefully I can also transform myself as well through this process.

[Nilsi]

1 minute ago, Carl-Richard said:

Those three are literally the Holy Trinity of raising your energy levels.

The Holy Trinity of energy for me is good sleep, working out and an animal based diet (not trying to be dogmatic, but it's by far the most energizing diet in my experience).

Thriving physiologically is the bedrock of changing your life for the better - meditation and no-fap are gimmicks you can throw on top, if you're into it.

[Michal__]

2 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

But that's what I want. I want to suffer and burn through all the crap inside of myself.

@Carl-Richard thank you. I actually avoided watching that video for a very long time now. I think I should. 

And hopefully I can also transform myself as well through this process.

That's good if you're okay with making your life temporarily worse (in that case it will first get better, then worse, then wayy better).

I got most of my personal life stuff done when I was doing just concentration on the breath for 3 hours a day.

[Something Funny]

@Michal__ thanks for advise. I am still thinking which way to go and I will take this into consideration. 

[Carl-Richard]

11 minutes ago, Nilsi said:

The Holy Trinity of energy for me is good sleep, working out and an animal based diet (not trying to be dogmatic, but it's by far the most energizing diet in my experience).

Thriving physiologically is the bedrock of changing your life for the better - meditation and no-fap are gimmicks you can throw on top, if you're into it.

Even if I have good sleep and eat animals, if I fap too frequently, I will feel like a snail (without its shell). That was my life from 12-20 years old lol. I have video clips from school projects when I was 15, and I was speaking so slowly like I had a brain disorder or something lol.

Edited March 12, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[Leo Gura]

It depends on what kind of change you're looking for.

Be careful using meditation as some cure-all fix for all problems. If your problem is something in the material domain, you must fix it at that level, not with meditation. There is A LOT of development work which meditation will not address at all.

So be precise about what your problem is.

Edited March 12, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura my problem is that I feel like my mind is fucked up and because of that I can't function in life properly. 

My emotional mastery is really low. I struggle with anxiety, loneliness, depression, addictions. I am incredibly inconsistent and drop most of the goals that I set. I procrastinate my days away watching tv shows and scrolling reddit as an escape. 

You get the picture.

[Michal__]

3 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@Leo Gura my problem is that I feel like my mind is fucked up and because of that I can't function in life properly. 

My emotional mastery is really low. I struggle with anxiety, loneliness, depression, addictions. I am incredibly inconsistent and drop most of the goals that I set. I procrastinate my days away watching tv shows and scrolling reddit as an escape. 

You get the picture.

1) Set aside a specific time (the same everyday) for only productivity. That is way easier than having a different schedule everyday.

2) A lot of concetration = crystal clear mind.

Edited March 12, 2023 by Michal__

[Nilsi]

6 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Even if I have good sleep and eat animals, if I fap too frequently, I will feel like a snail (without its shell). That was my life from 12-20 years old lol. I have video clips from school projects when I was 15, and I was speaking so slowly like I had a brain disorder or something lol.

I experimented with NoFap for over 5 years.

I honestly don't see benefits that are great enough to justify it.

I usually end up not fapping for many days in a row anyways, because I just don't have time for it; but I wouldn't do it purposefully.

What I found works best is learning to have orgasms without ejaculating. Can't pull it off consistently yet, but it's the best of both worlds - if you're willing to put in the work it takes to learn it.

[Leo Gura]

11 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@Leo Gura my problem is that I feel like my mind is fucked up and because of that I can't function in life properly. 

My emotional mastery is really low. I struggle with anxiety, loneliness, depression, addictions. I am incredibly inconsistent and drop most of the goals that I set. I procrastinate my days away watching tv shows and scrolling reddit as an escape. 

You get the picture.

If you are like that:

1) You probably will not be able to meditate effectively at all, so brute forcing yourself with meditation will not work very well. You will probably not be able to sustain hardcore meditation, you will have a huge ego backlash, or even if you do manage it, the results will be weak because it's not enough to half-ass meditation, you must do it with quality. Meditation requires quality over quantity. You can't just sit for days in monkey mind and get good results. You might even get worse results like that!

2) You got more basic developmental issues which should be addressed with basic self-help. It sounds like you need to just start taking action on your life, through babysteps. If you cannot accomplish basic goals, you will certainly not stick with hardcore meditation.

I get the vibe from you like you are a newbie going to the gym and deciding to bench press 500 lbs in your first week because you're so fat. It's not gonna work. You need to slowly build yourself up. Years of neglect and inaction cannot be fixed quickly through brute force. If you want to learn how to meditate properly start for 30 minutes per day, do high quality meditation, and complete at least 1 year without missing a single day. Then we talk about hardcore meditation. Until then you're kidding yourself.

Edited March 12, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Something Funny]

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

2) You got more basic developmental issues which should be addressed with basic self-help.

Idk, I've been watching your channels as well as other for years, I've read various books and couldn't find anything that would consistently help me. 

I've been struggling with this forever now. Sometimes getting better and then getting even worse than before.

So the only plan I have right now is to try to purge and rewire my mind with a hardcore practice like this and hope that it works.

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

1) You probably will not be able to meditate effectively at all, so brute forcing yourself with meditation will not work very well.

If I do a "strong determination sitting" and a "do nothing" technique than I just need to show up everyday and sit there motionless, right? As long as I have enough discipline to show up and sit there for 3 hours, it should be effective, no?

Edited March 12, 2023 by Something Funny