Did I pass the ultimate test?

[LSD-Rumi]

You who read my posts recently, you know that I have taken a substance that completely healed me from all my mental illness just after one dose but also after 5 years of daily suffering and trying everday.

Today I feel like a saint. I feel like the inside of me is so pure. I am calm and peaceful,  my heart is like a sweet honey. I deal with people so sponateneously that it mazes them.y mind works like the mind of eniestin or ten times more. Insights are pouring in from everyone. I have an infinite motivation to change my life and succeed in my life purpose which is to be an intellct.

I feel that I am being purified by every second. Did I pass the ultimate test? The hell test? I was literally in hell for the last five years and it hurted me a lot knowing how much wisodm I have and seeing all of you guys enjoying spirituality. I asked God everyday for help but it didn't come. I was supporting myself everyday and giving it encouragement. I didn't want to lose all this wisdom and hurt my family by killing myself. But I reached a point where I just wanted to lose hope and was convincing myself just to give up, knowing that wars can be lost and it is okey.

I knew all this period that life was the ultimate gift and it was all becuase of me. But I wasn't able to escape.

I watched a movie recently called martyrs. It was about a women who was tortured and beaten for months, just for her to get enlightened. Un the final scene they flay her alive which caused her to reach the truth before dying.

I felt that God did the same thing to me. He has beaten me to death everyday and I accepted that everyday. I never hated God or life, I just wanted a cure.

I also felt an extreme level of responsibility towards the world knowing how much I can do. But I was not able to wake up from the bed. I was watching my life getting wrecked while doing nothing. My grades kept going down, I was socially isolated, I had an extreme levels of of social anxiety, I was not even able to see my family memebers. My brain never stops. The ocd nevers stops bullying me. I was raped mentally daily. 

I have tried everything, personal development, spirituality, cbt and medication. Nothing worked. It just kept going worse.

Also my family was affected by my long and bad depression. I saw them get depressed too without being able to do nothing. It was even worst than my own suffring to  watch others suffer because of me. I wanted to kill myself just so my family can move on but I was afraid to do them more harm doing that.

I am happy now. I don't regret anything and if Gods tell me you will suffer this again I would not mind 

Cheers

 

[SamC]

What did you take?

[Yimpa]

4 minutes ago, SamC said:

What did you take?

 

[Lana Faye]

??? so suffering was necessary and well, basically unavoidable 

Edited March 13, 2023 by Lana Faye
Grammar mistake

[Thought Art]

@LSD-Rumi No. Focus on grounding yourself. 
 

You are making a fool of yourself. I saw your comments from today. 

[LSD-Rumi]

@LSD-RumiI really did pass it, thanks god. Once you are out of hell, you never return.

[Breakingthewall]

@LSD-Rumi when was the last time that you used pce or any substance? I hope you are right and a permanent change has happened. Reading your post it's seems that you are suffering but you are smart and deep enough to find a solution. But maybe you are just high. We will see

Edited March 25, 2023 by Breakingthewall

[LSD-Rumi]

51 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

@LSD-Rumi when was the last time that you used pce or any substance? I hope you are right and a permanent change has happened. Reading your post it's seems that you are suffering but you are smart and deep enough to find a solution. But maybe you are just high. We will see

A couple of days ago. I don't feel high or afterglow effects. I feel healed. And even if it comes back I can use PCE again.

[Breakingthewall]

18 minutes ago, LSD-Rumi said:

A couple of days ago. I don't feel high or afterglow effects. I feel healed. And even if it comes back I can use PCE again.

I think it is possible. I have done huge progress in purification using 5meo . a kind of rewiring of the mind. People can say what they want but it's real, I hope it's true in your case too. Although I would be careful with pce, 3 meo, since they say that it induces psychosis. why not use 5 meo? although if pce works for you, no one but you can know it

[MisterNobody]

Somebody explain this dude what a drug is. Isnt it that the first time you try every new drug you're like "THIS IS IT, the perfect drug, I LOVE IT, I DONT NEED ANYTHING ELSE", then after two months you're wrecked. 

@LSD-Rumi Look man, I messed around with DMXE, 3 ho pcp, 3 meo pce and let me tell you I felt healed for 2 weeks after every session. But in time, it really damages you, IT IS JUST A DRUG YOU STUPID KID ! It's actually worse than ketamine and pcp, It is a relatively new chemical. No research on it. Please listen to me. You're playing a very dangerous game. Drugs are NEVER the answer! NEVER! I tried all sorts of drugs, they worked fine in the beginning then end up ruining me! 

[LSD-Rumi]

5 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

I think it is possible. I have done huge progress in purification using 5meo . a kind of rewiring of the mind. People can say what they want but it's real, I hope it's true in your case too. Although I would be careful with pce, 3 meo, since they say that it induces psychosis. why not use 5 meo? although if pce works for you, no one but you can know it

I tried 5 meo before. It was not suitable at all for mentally ill people. Dissociatives are much more gentle, less mind fuck and more psychological stabling than psychedelics. But I do really think this pce drug is something special. It acted like a miracle, literally.

Maybe mushrooms would have been a good choice if I had access to them.

I did aome serious tripping on acid but it was more about spiritual stuff than about healing and you tend vo back to your previous state afterwards

[LSD-Rumi]

@MisterNobody it is not just about the drug. I have been working on myself for years now. This drug just gave me a huge final push.

[MisterNobody]

@LSD-Rumi negative side effects that appear after a few uses are: poor concentration, difficulty forming sentences, forgetting stuff, severe derealization, impaired memory, higher anxiety, PSYCHOSIS. And also physical symptoms : bladder and kidney problem (this happens sooner than you think)

[MisterNobody]

@LSD-Rumi Trust me, I did 3 meo pce. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE DRUG ! It's a surreal combination between meth and ketamine. You have no idea how dangerous it is. PCP is considered more dangerous than meth, buddy. It is a drug that's as hardcore as it gets

[MisterNobody]

@LSD-Rumi you would find it stupid if a guy were to write a post saying he tried meth for the first time and IT COMPLETELY CHANGED HIS LIFE: cured his depression, anxiety, it gave him energy and motivation to do all sorts of things. That's exactly what you're doing

[LSD-Rumi]

33 minutes ago, MisterNobody said:

@LSD-Rumi you would find it stupid if a guy were to write a post saying he tried meth for the first time and IT COMPLETELY CHANGED HIS LIFE: cured his depression, anxiety, it gave him energy and motivation to do all sorts of things. That's exactly what you're doing

That would be stupid because meth is a stimulant not a dissociative or psychedelic. You see, there is already a huge body of research on dissociatives like ketamine and how they can cure depression. I tried ketamine and pce and pce is at least 2-3 times more powerful than ketamine.

Edited March 25, 2023 by LSD-Rumi

[MisterNobody]

@LSD-Rumi 3 meo pce is both a stimulant and a dissociative, but hey, do your thing man. You ll remember a stranger on the internet warned you. 3 meo pce induced a pretty intense euphoria, that should be a warning  sign for a wise mind. It will be safer to do ketamine than those research chemicals. Just type "pcp trip" or "freaking out on pcp" or "pcp scary" or "high on pcp" or "man on pcp" on youtube to see what what I'm talking about. The fact that it is more powerful than ketamine should be a warning sign. Trust me, pcp is as crazy and as damaging as meth. Take care. I'll pray you will make the smart choice

[MisterNobody]

@LSD-Rumi the mania, delusions, psychosis and the overall mentally ill feeling you get  when the trip ends is beyond anything I have ever experienced on any psychedelic. You wont feel that the first times you do it, or if you do only a little. Also, you can google "3 meo pce reddit" on google, you'll find a lot of insightful subjective experiences and comparisons to ketamine for example. You'll understand how pcp (especially 3 meo pce) is completely another league of drugs than ketamine.

[Breakingthewall]

https://trippywiki.com/3-meo-pce/#longterm-benefits--side-effects 

reading that I deduce that it is a very dangerous substance. Perhaps used very sparingly it can be useful, but the danger of befriending 3 meo pce is enormous. Be careful 

[LSD-Rumi]

@MisterNobody I feel awesome after the trip ends. Also, I have plenty of mood stabilizers and antipsychotics just in case. This substance doesn't feel sinister at all. Also, I have an extremely stable mind, I don't get mad easily 

Anyways, thank you for you your concern, I will be careful