Just had my ego death, thanks imaginary Leo

[PeaceOut96]

@Jowblob

Some of what you are saying is true. But it being bad, horrible, peaceless etc. Is just your ego's way of interpreting this realization. Yes when you merge fully in the Godhead you probably will dream another dream again, and when you get enough of dreaming you will do everything to awaken to your true nature again. Its a big cosmic joke. But I see it as perfect. It could be no other way. ?

[Jowblob]

Thank you everyone/god for making me feel better, but because i have been in that state i also know what the purpose of other is.

The purpose is to give/mislead GOD=myself for the betterment of my life, so i can stay in low consciousness mode. That's is literally 
what i have deconstructed in god mode, and i'm thankful for that.

God is taking care of me at all times, trying to give me a balance of life with others.
Everytime i go to sleep, the blanket that i put on me is me putting gods love on myself.
All the walls in my bedroom breath when i breath, no matter where i would go GOD or say GOD is always there for me.
I'm very thankful i'm in this reality again, and i forgive god/myself that i have to live my whole life with all these lies because
GOD had no other choice.

[Yimpa]

4 hours ago, acidgoofy said:

@Jowblob Don't you think that loneliness could also be something you imagine that keeps you from truth?

It would seem that from lower states of consciousness, yes.

From higher states of consciousness, loneliness takes a whole different meaning, beyond a concept of loneliness. 

[Godishere]

@Leo Gura what's your thoughts on this? Is his awakening incomplete?

 

[Breakingthewall]

@Godishere It is incomplete, the same thing that happened to you with the tiles in the bathroom. I've been through that too, terror of emptiness, of loneliness. the last bastion of the ego. when you go through it, infinity manifests. getting stuck before is a mistake, subconsciously you are traumatized, it has been imprinted in your psyche that the foundations of reality are something very negative. you have to go through that. It seems incredible that being a human is such a complicated matter, but it is 

 

Edited March 10, 2023 by Breakingthewall

[Grateful Dead]

Yes I went through that too. I remember my first thought was, "Oh no, my whole life was a lie, I'm forever alone in the darkness," and I wanted to get escape the experience right away. After that for about a year every time I relaxed, this existential terror would creep in and I would have panic attacks, it was horrible.

[Osaid]

"deception" "lies" "choice" "purpose"

The fundamentals of reality can't be boiled down to these types of anthropomorphic interpretations. It's more meta than that.

 

[Breakingthewall]

2 hours ago, acidgoofy said:

Yes I went through that too. I remember my first thought was, "Oh no, my whole life was a lie, I'm forever alone in the darkness," and I wanted to get escape the experience right away. After that for about a year every time I relaxed, this existential terror would creep in and I would have panic attacks, it was horrible.

Exactly. This is something quite normal imo, since breaking human handholds is not a game, but this is not talked about much because this has not happened to Leo, I suppose because he is naturally especially detached. If nobody encourages you to continue, it is possible to stay at this stage, as it seems that it can happen to the op. He believes that he has seen the foundation of reality,  the same as we thought. It also took me about a year to dare again with a total dissolution of the ego, and again it was the same. emptiness, absolute absence, horror. I had to do it 4 times until the nothing opened. once it opens, that's it. infinity, awakening . After that, the real thing starts.  but you have to get there first 

Edited March 10, 2023 by Breakingthewall

[Jowblob]

I'm just gonna leave it here, i've answered some question that might be interesting to others. Ask Leo what the thinks of this, and if he would bother answering

 

Edited March 10, 2023 by Jowblob

[Breakingthewall]

@Jowblob there is an important nuance. God is not alone in the void. God is imagining the void. the void is just another experience, like having a coffee. there is no void, there is only god. If you have many times the experience of the void, you will understand

[Yimpa]

4 hours ago, acidgoofy said:

Yes I went through that too. I remember my first thought was, "Oh no, my whole life was a lie, I'm forever alone in the darkness," and I wanted to get escape the experience right away. After that for about a year every time I relaxed, this existential terror would creep in and I would have panic attacks, it was horrible.

Do you still have those experiences now, and do you react to them the same way?

I’ve reacted in the same way that you’ve described. When I first started to have those experiences, I had to call or text for help to stop it. Now it’s gotten to a point where I’m more curious about what’s going on and I’m able to explore deeper. 

It’s definitely been worth it. I’ve noticed that when I seek out help (because I believe something is wrong), it’s an avoidance from exploring deeper. A missed opportunity to learn more about myself, if you will. 

[Holykael]

@Jowblob if this is heaven why do people die. Why not make everything immortal. This is not heaven to me, this is hell.

[Arthogaan]

5 minutes ago, Holykael said:

@Jowblob if this is heaven why do people die. Why not make everything immortal. This is not heaven to me, this is hell.

Lack of death is cancer. Literally.

It would be hell if death did not exist.

Edited March 10, 2023 by Arthogaan

[Holykael]

1 minute ago, Arthogaan said:

Lack of death is cancer. Literally.

It would be hell if death did not exist.

A close knit society of immortals is far more appealing than the massive shitstorm of a society that we have. Give people an exit button from the simulation when they're done instead of killing them in various unscrupulous ways like cancer

[Arthogaan]

It is just your personal taste. I prefer this.

[Jowblob]

3 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Jowblob there is an important nuance. God is not alone in the void. God is imagining the void. the void is just another experience, like having a coffee. there is no void, there is only god. If you have many times the experience of the void, you will understand

@BreakingthewallThat is false in my experience, the void represented god too, it represented that gods thought has no limit to whatever god can imagine and it also represented all other aspects god can't answer like why god is alone, how god came into existence, what is creativity. The void is a clear seperation from god if there was no seperation then god would also be all knowing which is false.

1 hour ago, Holykael said:

@Jowblob if this is heaven why do people die. Why not make everything immortal. This is not heaven to me, this is hell.

@HolykaelFirst of all you're already immortal and you're already in heaven. The death of others and the suffering around you of others is a false experience to give yourself meaning, you as god will never suffer as much but only slightly to keep the balance intact. This is entirely your dream!!! 

The heaven you imagine where all the possibilities of the materialistic world would be possible to you isn't heaven and you wouldn't stay there for long, because there is no balance and no purpose it will become like hell very fast. Because you would operate at higher consciousness levels closer to god in that dream, more will be open to you including that the others are just part of god/you, your life will only be based on seeking god or higher purpose but you will never find that. The reason jesus suffered that much is because he was highly conscious in the world of the dumb, he clearly saw that the others are part of him and were like bots, the the heaven you imagine it will be even worse. The more conscious you become the more meaningless life to you will become and your existence. The true heaven is when there is balance of everything like here on earth, trust me you would much rather be Neanderthal exploring gods creation then be semi god with people kissing your feet, in that state of consciousness you will clearly see god in these people and that they're just a reflection of your own imagination thus everything will be known to you about these people.

[Grateful Dead]

On 10.3.2023 at 2:19 PM, Breakingthewall said:

This is something quite normal imo, since breaking human handholds is not a game, but this is not talked about much because this has not happened to Leo, I suppose because he is naturally especially detached.

True. I think Leo once said in a video that at one point he had to take a year off psychedelics.

On 10.3.2023 at 2:19 PM, Breakingthewall said:

I had to do it 4 times until the nothing opened. once it opens, that's it. infinity, awakening . After that, the real thing starts.  but you have to get there first 

And now everytime you do 5meo you awaken? Or do you still go to the void sometimes?

On 10.3.2023 at 3:37 PM, Yimpa said:

Do you still have those experiences now, and do you react to them the same way?

It can still happen on psychedelics. But it's different, as you said, I'm more curious now and try to observe what's going on.

[Breakingthewall]

7 hours ago, acidgoofy said:

And now everytime you do 5meo you awaken? Or do you still go to the void sometimes?

For now it's always the same challenge, I do it, breakthrough and emptiness. it expands, encompasses everything, but there is nothing there, reality is dead emptiness. I am that. extremely negative. then I wait two hours, I do it again and the void opens. full awakening. I don't know why it happens like that. Sometimes the second is death too, a very challenging experience, but as i know, it's just a bad time

Id say that the difference is that when it is death there is a self experiencing the void. when it is awakening, the self merges with the void, there is no body and there is an energetic discharge. Maybe i just have to increase the dose. 5meo is violent. It Uses violence to break your ego. if doesn't have enough power, you can't break it completely. though I'm not sure it's just this 

What about you? How did you get out of this? Happened again?

Edited March 13, 2023 by Breakingthewall

[Yimpa]

7 hours ago, acidgoofy said:

It can still happen on psychedelics. But it's different, as you said, I'm more curious now and try to observe what's going on.

Ayy, I feel you. I’m proud of both of us, we’ve been through hell and yet here are!

[Breakingthewall]

@acidgoofy

Speaking of which...I just had one of those experiences. Let's see, yesterday I did 5meo, breakthrough. empty, nothing, not horrible, just empty. Today I did it again, 20 mg vaped, total breakthrough, absolute void. nothing. death. the absolute ultimate reality is dead nothingness, the absolute is a funnel of horror. what we live in is a dead image on a background of absolute death. party!! ok, i do it again. Some time of awakening. I see it, the infinity that flows now. but he leaves right away, I did it too fast and the death ☠️ is still too fresh. Now I go down to the street to have a tea and see the sun. In an hour maybe I'll do it again, let's see if the fucking dead void opens. I know what's behind. I. Infinity. Now. it is absolutely challenging and exhausting but it's the price to open the illusion . 

all this is a hard work that I do for a reason: to perceive reality, the infinite flowing now. That is , me. every horrible break followed by a break where nothing opens makes my experience 24/7 clearer

Edited March 13, 2023 by Breakingthewall