Importance of Nightgaming

[tezk]

I agree with @Optimized Life

When you day game, my frame is “im a healthy male who simply goes up to attractive ladies and says hello, and see where it goes”. There’s nothing weird about that. Also, you are only going up to the ones you find genuinely attractive. You might only approach 4 chicks on one given day. That doesn’t really come off as spammy to me. A logical fact that a man does cold approach is not going to deter girls. They are attracted to charisma and other attractive qualities that will most certainly rationalise away any problems they have surrounding “a man doing cold approach”. 

Also men are attracted to multiple women. There’s nothing weird about pursuing multiple women aka daygame coldapproach. 

Just for the record, I’ve approached many sets throughout the day where she’s openly told me I’ve made her day. She lit up when I approached her & told her she was cute. Yeah, you also get ones who aren’t interested or don’t care. That’s par for the course tho. There would be chicks in nightclubs who get approached but have boyfriends or aren’t interested etc. Par for the course brah

Edited March 7, 2023 by tezk

[something_else]

58 minutes ago, tezk said:

When you day game, my frame is “im a healthy male who simply goes up to attractive ladies and says hello, and see where it goes”. There’s nothing weird about that. Also, you are only going up to the ones you find genuinely attractive. You might only approach 4 chicks on one given day. That doesn’t really come off as spammy to me. A logical fact that a man does cold approach is not going to deter girls. They are attracted to charisma and other attractive qualities that will most certainly rationalise away any problems they have surrounding “a man doing cold approach

How many of the girls you had success with knew you were doing cold approach to lots of other girls during the day? How many of them knew you were leaving your house specifically to talk to girls?

[tezk]

1 hour ago, something_else said:

How many of the girls you had success with knew you were doing cold approach to lots of other girls during the day? How many of them knew you were leaving your house specifically to talk to girls?

Probably none. Maybe a few. You don’t need to disclose that. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. When you go out at night do you inform all the girls you meet that you’re here to dance like a monkey & get laid? Lol

All the girls who wear makeup. Do they constantly inform everyone they’re doing it to make themselves feel better & look more attractive? That they’re spending 30-90 minutes a day doing something so manipulative. You don’t even need to be informed of that, it’s just a truth. Does that turn you off? 

Also, at some point you just do it naturally throughout your day. While you’re on a work break or at the shops. You only need to do daygame cold-approach in a serious manner for 3 months or so. After that it should ideally become a lot more natural. The time it takes for it to become natural is obviously going to vary, but yeah. I’m baffled that you have such a problem with daygame but you have no issues with nightgame. 

At the end of the day, you’re basically rejecting daygame based on a lower percentage of women being available/interested in your approaches & a higher likelihood you’ll approach girls who will be a bit more annoyed. While I think that is accurate you’re still missing a shitload of opportunities, both sex/relationship wise but also just life & social experiences. As long as you aren’t a dick & you’re calibrated enough to leave when she clearly doesn’t want you to be there, I don’t really understand the issue. 

Anyway each to their own.

Edited March 8, 2023 by tezk

[Optimized Life]

2 hours ago, something_else said:

How many of the girls you had success with knew you were doing cold approach to lots of other girls during the day? How many of them knew you were leaving your house specifically to talk to girls?

Even though I see much validity to your perspective and agree with your stance against spammy day time cold approach.

I think it's weird and pointless to focus on the non existent thoughts of the girls you had success with, even having this thought is pointless & shows too much obsession with what other people think. 

Yes don't be autistic spammy weirdo ... but also remember it mostly doesn't matter what others think and you just got to go for what you want because this life you get one shot. 

Edited March 8, 2023 by Optimized Life

[Mada_]

19 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Most of the people are too judgemental and feminine on this forum to follow this advice: get in the boxing ring. 

Every time I’m dancing with a girl I’m glad I’m dancing with a girl instead of fighting with a psycho who is 20kg heavier than me. But when I’m fighting I’m also not resentful and I see it as duty almost.

Developing the warrior archetype within yourself helps with discipline and with integrating the reality principle. 

Dude I've seen this kind of mindset applied IRL, I lived with and have been around Red Pill guys. Your fundamental beliefs around masculinity are flawed, and it will undoubtedly sabotage your results with women. 

'The Boxing Ring' will ruin your chance at cognitive development. Any dreams of a deep perspective or profound contemplation will be ruined. Even your communication will suffer from frequent trauma to the head. 

There are other Rites of Passage for men, a good one is Game. Ice baths, public speaking, wilderness survival, jiu jitsu... there are other ways to challenge and shape yourself without hurting your brain. 

David Deida is a good role model for masculinity. 

Edited March 8, 2023 by Mada_
Probably could have worded this more respectfully

[Ulax]

5 hours ago, Migue Lonas said:

That shit grows you the most :).

Basically, you are forced to socialize with new ppl because your other choice is to look like a creep lurking around.

But learning this is hella rewarding: being able to just hit any random place alone in any random city and make friends.

—-

Funnily enough, I am transitioning into becoming a coach / mentor as well in the world of self-development and game. Basically self-mastery for men. I’ll try to make it as healthy and conscious as possible.

Something like what Owen is doing nowadays. The plan is to become financially free this way, then I will probably transition into teaching pure philosophy and spirituality. We will see!

Perhaps for the next 5-10 years I’ll do this, gather perhaps 5-10 million, travel around the world and socialize + pick up girls with my gf (we share the same vision & she is also a coach, but for women). I’ll exhaust this material world completely and slowly I’ll probably transition into teaching higher stuff.

——-

What about you? Would love to hear about your game career, career & life purpose & vision in life!

P.S. You’re def one of the more mature people in this forum, with a good balance of playfulness and seriousness & wisdom, love it!

@Migue Lonas Love it man!

I did solo nightgame once or twice, and I had the same feeling of not wanting to be the dude just lurking in the corner hahaha. But, you're in another world to me with the amount you've done it.  And, man I love that idea of just being able to go to pretty much any place and make friends!

Loving the ambition too man! And that sounds to me like a really cool relationship you have with your girlfriend.

------------

I'm in quite a different life situation at the moment, so i can only relate so far.

On my end, I've had some material successes. I became arguably the most successful student in my high school's history in terms of where I ended up for university, and got pretty decent at amateur boxing. Both of these were the results of a 'what if' mindset I developed, where I would challenge myself to things just with the view to grow from the experience. Like for example, with the university, I applied to a university course that no one thought I could get into because I wanted to learn how to deal with the experience of people doubting you, and also dealing with applying for things outside of my comfort zone. And then I ended up getting in, and going to one of the best courses at one of the best universities at the world. With boxing, I was a pretty small, middle-class kid, and joined a local working class amateur boxing gym. I found it very taxing, but learnt a lot about what hard work really meant. I ended up captaining my university's boxing team too.

My motivation for all these growth activities was actually based a lot off the videos of Owen Cook, and ideas around limiting beliefs, and self improvement. It was strange because I resonated a lot with Owen's talks around things like depression, but I didn't know why.

Gamewise I have done three phases of game totalling around 8 months I'd say total. So, overall I'd say I'm very limited in my game experience. Except, for some reason, when it comes to getting success with cute girls at french ski resorts .

The issue was that emotional issues that I'd had all my life really caught up with me around 17/ 18. And affected my university studies a lot and my career ambitions. I had been interested in becoming a civil rights advocate in the US for folks on death row. And, my ability to game was really affected by these other parts of my life too, and just my emotional state. 

And, since around 20 I've been learning the ins and outs of managing my emotional issues, which have been rather serious. It turned out I had a form of PTSD due to a lot of traumatic experiences growing up involving family and friends. My latest game phase around 22 actually opened up a lot of those wounds again that I'd been dissociated from, and indicated a certain truth to me. I chose to leave my old life behind, and try to make it on my own. However, the stuff that opened up has been pretty debilitating, and my mind is rather splintered as a consequence. I frequently flick between various different narratives of the past. And, a lot of my actual thoughts I am dissociated from. I've only recently managed to get in touch with, and realised i was unconscious of these.  And, it seems it was these unconscious thoughts that Owen's vids were resonating with. Its felt like uncovering a conspiracy theory to be honest. 

And in these past four years, particularly these past two, I've been researching and experimenting the hell out of inner psyche to achieve identity level change. At the same time, its been painful watching time slip by as I try to develop myself in this context. I had a much larger ambition for game, but i see my current work as being part of the journey. And also the past two years have consisted of a fair degree of chronic pain for me. However, i retain and apply my growth mindset in this area now.

In terms of my life purpose, I'm not really too sure of what it is at the moment. My dissociation and chronic pain has meant I am cut off from a lot of my psyche, and hence my authentic self. And i see that as imperative to being able to find a life purpose.

However, I am very interested in a spiritual/ depth psychotherapy called 'internal family systems' therapy. And I have considered before dedicating my life to bringing it to more of the world. However, in contemplation I often find i come to the conclusion that some means of affecting politics would actually be a better means of helping bring it to the world. My reasoning being, in part, that, rather unsexily, its accessibility depends, to my mind, so much on things like funding of research, government funding of sessions for those in poverty, the economic climate, i.e. ability for prospective clients to pay relevant fees. I have a certain disgust for the way psychotherapy is priced at the moment, as many in need are simply priced out of it. Not that i blame practioners, but its just the way i see reality is.

But really for now, I've had to humble my ambitions for the time being towards doing the necessary inner work. 

--------

Also, thank you for the compliment mate

I was thinking earlier too how valuable it is to have someone with your life experiences on the forum, too.

Edited March 8, 2023 by Ulax

[tezk]

@Migue Lonas we have very similar visions. Perhaps we will cross paths one day.  
 

@Ulax keep at it brother (the inner work). I wholeheartedly agree with the idea that accessing your authentic self is very difficult when you’re weighed down by heavy neuroticism & trauma. I had to fix my severe health issues before I was able to access my authentic dreams. That’s been a 5-6 year long journey & I am 22. I did everything under the sun to fix myself & am happy to say my current state is almost unbelievable compared to how I was 4 years ago. 

Edited March 8, 2023 by tezk

[Ulax]

@tezk Thank you *love*

Congrats on the progress for you btw!

What did the trick for you?

[tezk]

56 minutes ago, Ulax said:

@tezk Thank you *love*

Congrats on the progress for you btw!

What did the trick for you?

I tried absolutely everything. That’s how you solve a problem. Throw everything at it.

For context, I have POIS. It started when I was 17 — I am now 22. It took me a long time to even connect my chronic severe symptoms with releasing, maybe 1-2 years. Think severe anxiety, fatigue, and brainfog for 3 days every time you ejaculated. Except, my body was basically in a permanent state of it as I didn’t realize how inflamed my body was becoming from every ejaculation. I had a girlfriend at the time, so I was fucking her basically every day or a couple times a week. I couldn’t even hear the peace in the room my symptoms were so severe. This completely destroyed my social self-confidence. In that state you simply cannot access any normal levels of social confidence when your brain chemistry is so fucked up — I was anxious & paranoid just being around my friends that I’ve known for over 10 years! Until I did a 10 day abstinence challenge. Couldn’t believe it. That’s when I realised how much better I felt when I abstained. It then took a further 2 years at least to realize I had a medical condition because I was brainwashed into all of the semen retention ideology. Many guys get stuck here. After discovering the r/POIS subreddit I realised it was a medical condition. So I tried everything. Long story short, going gluten-free, raw garlic, fenugreek, a B complex with choline, eggs & red meat keep my symptoms completely at bay. I can release & by the next day I am mostly back to normal. 

My medical solution did not really fix my social confidence though. It definitely improved it but I had to do a lot of further work. My concentration was also non-existent from the chronic inflammation. So I did 10 day Vipassana retreats, lots of feeling meditations, a decent stint of Kriya Yoga where I experienced significant energetic releases, lots of sedona method, and now doing cold-approach. The cold-approach is the cherry on top of good foundations I’ve re-built. I tried a lot of other shit that didn’t really do a whole lot, these include affirmations, all sorts of new agey techniques/sessions, probably a lot of shit that I can’t even remember. One of my main goals for the next few years is to master cold-approach. I am moving to the city in about a months time

[Leo Gura]

Day vs night will very much depend on your particular city.

It's harder to find good daygame locations, generally speaking. But if you got 'em, def make use of them.

Edited March 8, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Spiral]

Doing an actively you really enjoy and with people who really enjoy it as well makes this sort of thing waaaaaay easier. I don’t like dancing for instance so clubs aren’t a good match for me. No wants to hang out with the bored guy.

[AriSujan]

On 3/7/2023 at 4:42 PM, flowboy said:

You don’t really want to have deep conversation too early on, it can actually hurt the sexual tension, so don’t worry too much about that!

Build sexual tension instead.

BTW what do you mean by sexual tension?

How are we supposed to build sexual tension (without getting into deep conversations)?