I relapsed

[Someone here]

I'm beyond help.  I'm smoking right now as I'm typing this  lol.

 I'm completely at peace and  I accept myself as a smoker and that I have no problem smoking for the rest of my life. Because smoking is WONDERFUL!! There is simply no way that I will ever quit! I am very glad that I started!

What do you guys say to that ?

I've been doing it  for almost a decade now and it is becoming a big part of my psychology.  I started when I was 16 to impress girls in high school .  ,I didn't like it at first and coughed a lot ,but with time it became my best friend. 

I may have learned to use cigarettes as a coping mechanism for everything from excitement and happiness to boredom or even anger. How i quit for good when I've become emotionally attached to cigarettes?

The power that nicotine has over people who smoke is tremendous. I know that   nicotine is a toxic substance .only because of the many health risks of smoking, but because of the tricks nicotine plays on those who use it. I just can't stop .I can't put the damn cigarettes down no matter how much I try.

And you know what?  What's the worst case scenario?  Dying from a heart attack or a stroke ? Imma fucking die anyways . And honestly, I'm not so satisfied with the quality of this existence..so dying prematurely would be great !. Fortunately, cigarettes can help me with that .

I hope that anyone reading this doesn't "get it " as a cry of help being cosmetically covered with bragging about my smoking habit .

Rant over .

[Emrie]

Lot to unpack here.

Let me just start by saying I blame capitalism. But anyways.

42 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I accept myself as a smoker and that I have no problem smoking for the rest of my life.

That's a great start actually! I accepted myself as an alcoholic first, before quitting alcohol for the rest of my life. Literally the reason why I can't drink is because I'm an alcoholic. Same for you, you are a smoker, therefore you can't touch tobacco for the rest of your life.

45 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I may have learned to use cigarettes as a coping mechanism for everything from excitement and happiness to boredom or even anger. How i quit for good when I've become emotionally attached to cigarettes?

You should see an addiction therapist. Turning to substances to make yourself feel different is not a coping mechanism, it's an addiction. And it speaks to poor mental health. See a therapist that specifically specialized in addiction to help you.

47 minutes ago, Someone here said:

What's the worst case scenario?  Dying from a heart attack or a stroke ? Imma fucking die anyways . And honestly, I'm not so satisfied with the quality of this existence..so dying prematurely would be great !

Actually, no, not just dying. And don't forget lung cancer. But an addiction ruins your life every day. Any addiction will only hamper any effort you make to make your life better and yourself better, it'll be a thorn in your side. This one in particular has the added affect of worsening your breathing, your cardiovascular health, and I'm sure many others I don't know about (I guess maybe sleep too?`And therefore your daily energy levels due to the poor sleep?).

Wanting your life to end prematurely because you don't like your life is a huge red flag. You are most likely depressed. At the very least, see a therapist, so they can assess your situation.

[Someone here]

@Emrie thanks for the response.  I already see a therapist and I Take a lot of SSRI's. 

To make this short and precise for both of us..just tell me how tf to quit? 

Did you quit alcohol? How did you do it? 

[Emrie]

Yeah I did.

For, I would say almost a year, I would tell myself to stop drinking, every single day, while I was still drinking.

Then one day, Leo made his series of videos on how to get laid, I loved it and was like "it's time to make some changes". I decided to move to a different city and stop alcohol.

And I did both of these things. Was kinda easy I just said "no" every time I wanted to drink alcohol. What was worse was dealing with everyone asking me why I don't drink.

This is always how things happen in my life, something external happens, and I make sweeping changes. Up until a few months ago, I was eating a lot of unhealthy food and never cleaning my home. Then I sprained my ankle, my grandmother came over, cleaned the apartment and cooked me healthy food, and ever since, both my diet and my home are very clean. This was, again, after like a year of telling myself I shouldn't eat so much unhealthy food and I should clean my apartment.

[Someone here]

@Emrie thanks for sharing your story. 

[HMD]

@Someone here

Let me start by saying that I quit weed, cigarettes, and nicotine pouches, all withing the span of a few months. 

The most important insight for me was this: The more connected I am to reality (to what is, to the present moment, to the beauty around me, to all the shapes and states that consciousness takes, and finding the beauty in that, Finding the crisp and juice in that) the less dependent I was on chemicals and substances to give me joy and a sense of self. 

 

8 hours ago, Someone here said:

it is becoming a big part of my psychology

It is something you Identify with. It's part of your story. "I am a smoker. It has become a habit, it is a pattern.

So, firstly, try to be more aware of this. Place your full attention on this ( by placing your attention I mean observe it). Smoke more mindfully, with emphasis on the flavor, how your body feels, and how your lungs feel. Really do this for a week. 

Secondly, try to identify with something higher. don't say that you are a smoker. Try to see that you are everything there is. Try to identify with that.