Women treat MEN the way men treat JOBS: how relationship goals change the dating

[zurew]

18 minutes ago, Devin said:

The video is a PhD Psychologist, it's not like it's Tate.

If a PhD is important what you will do, if I find a PhD who will agree with me? I will answer it for you, you will have to be able to provide a counter argument, without appealing to an authority.

Btw, no one has a PhD specifically in dating dynamics, because its way too broad and complex just for one random person to study.

[Devin]

2 minutes ago, zurew said:

If a PhD is important what you will do, if I find a PhD who will agree with me? I will answer it for you, you will have to be able to provide a counter argument, without appealing to an authority.

Btw, no one has a PhD specifically in dating dynamics, because its way too broad and complex just for one random person to study.

            Did you actually watch the whole video?

[zurew]

Yes, and I disagree with his phrasing, and description, because he is making the focus on gender and not on leverage.

To leave for a better option is not exclusive to women.

Plus I also disagree with the premise that everyone will just completely act rationally and just purely focusing on their self interest. If there are kids in the mix, that van change things up dramatically , but even if there are no kids, the fact of the matter is that the more time two people spend together generally the more attached they will get to each other (here I could even argue, that women will get more attached generlly) and that alone make leaving the relationship much harder.

Edited March 4, 2023 by zurew

[Emerald]

5 hours ago, Bobby_2021 said:

@Emerald In the 1950s women were expected to be housewives being dependent on her husband for finances. 

Now that we have gone past that, what are the qualities a woman must have in the modern age to be in a functional relationship? 

It’s mostly about maturity and compatibility for both partners. Both of those are necessary Ingredients.

Compatibility can’t be helped. So, it’s important to select for a partner who is generally moving in a similar direction in life.

So, if one partner wants to spend their life traveling the world and the other partner wants to settle down and put down roots, they may love each other very much but being together will be very painful.

And it will put them in a position where splitting up will be necessary for one or both of them to live a good life.

So, you have to pick well. And you do this by getting to know the person first before getting too deeply involved with them.

But maturity can be helped.

This means working through your own trauma and developing relationship skills based off of deeper understandings about what a relationship is. 

One such skill to develop is for the man and woman to have good communication skills and work through issues as they arise.

And to treat eachother well enough so that the relationship doesn’t feel like hell for one or both partners.

None of this is very sexy sounding. But it is what’s necessary to have a good relationship.

Now, in terms of women in general, being in touch with their Feminine can enhance the relationship as well.

This means listening to your partner empathetically and holding space for them to be vulnerable. And you help him experience the Feminine through you.

And it means being very present without any walls up and willing to be vulnerable yourself.

[Devin]

49 minutes ago, zurew said:

Yes, and I disagree with his phrasing, and description, because he is making the focus on gender and not on leverage.

To leave for a better option is not exclusive to women.

Plus I also disagree with the premise that everyone will just completely act rationally and just purely focusing on their self interest. If there are kids in the mix, that van change things up dramatically , but even if there are no kids, the fact of the matter is that the more time two people spend together generally the more attached they Will get to each other (here I could even argue, that women will get more attached generlly) and that alone make leaving the relationship much hardver.

         Do you think more women's personal life goals(not professional goals) change/grow more than mens? That's the videos premise, it's not about hypergamy.

Edited March 4, 2023 by Devin

[Emerald]

4 hours ago, supremeyingyang said:

We had this discussed so many times!! Don't write about the plan in public, the patriarchy will be informed now, you fool!

женщины не так уж плохи

The Russian is a nice touch. ?

Jep, I see women leave not for more money but for more PURPOSE. Just look at most men 10+ Years in a relationship. Women complain and if they then leave the men are baffled. Hilarious.

Yeah, I think most women who initiate divorced want things to work out. It’s hard to leave a relationship, especially with children in tow.

But if the guy isn’t budging about making changes to make life livable, then it leaves the woman with two options: get divorced and deal with the consequences/stigma OR stay and endure a life of misery like a frog in boiling water.

 

 

[Devin]

@zurew           Lesbians get divorced more than gay male couples at the exact same widely disproportionate rate as females initiating divorce in heterosexual couples, how do you explain this?

Homosexual divorce makeup; 30% gay 70% lesbian. Marriage is 50/50 gay and lesbian for total homosexual marriage makeup.

Hetero; 30% man initiates 70% woman

Edited March 4, 2023 by Devin

[supremeyingyang]

26 minutes ago, Devin said:

@zurew           Lesbians get divorced more than gay male couples at the exact same widely disproportionate rate as females initiating divorce in heterosexual couples, how do you explain this?

Homosexual divorce makeup; 30% gay 70% lesbian. Marriage is 50/50 gay and lesbian for total homosexual marriage makeup.

Hetero; 30% man initiates 70% woman

Glad you asked: https://www.whitleylawfirmpc.com/3-reasons-why-women-initiate-divorce-more-often-than-men/

Your edit with zurews tag was too late, haha.

[Devin]

3 minutes ago, supremeyingyang said:

Glad you asked: https://www.whitleylawfirmpc.com/3-reasons-why-women-initiate-divorce-more-often-than-men/

Your edit with zurews tag was too late, haha.

        Your source blames men, there are no men in lesbian relationships.

[Gesundheit2]

@Devin Numbers could mean anything. What's your point?

[supremeyingyang]

5 minutes ago, Devin said:

        Your source blames men, there are no men in lesbian relationships.

Ok, I can't explain why lesbian couples divorce more than twice an much as gay couple. What is your explanation?

[supremeyingyang]

49 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Yeah, I think most women who initiate divorced want things to work out. It’s hard to leave a relationship, especially with children in tow.

But if the guy isn’t budging about making changes to make life livable, then it leaves the woman with two options: get divorced and deal with the consequences/stigma OR stay and endure a life of misery like a frog in boiling water.

On point. We have a huge disproportion in western countries in development, at least in the 30+ section, the younger ones still need to prove if they are more wise to this and I have hope that they are.

[Devin]

5 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

@Devin Numbers could mean anything. What's your point?

             Women's relationship/personal goals (not professional) change/develop/grow more than men's.

Edited March 4, 2023 by Devin

[supremeyingyang]

2 minutes ago, Devin said:

             Women's relationship/personal goals (not professional) change/develop/grow more than men's.

Factual true from my perspective

[Devin]

       The video is not about hypergamy. I think this assumption is biasing your takes.

[Devin]

14 minutes ago, supremeyingyang said:

Factual true from my perspective

       This has the effect of women more likely to leave or be dissatisfied with a man down the road. At the start of the relationship the man satisfied what she was looking for, down the road the woman is not satisfied by the same thing, what she wants down the road is different, if the man is not also this new desire the woman will be upset with the relationship.

THIS IS THE VIDEO.

Edited March 4, 2023 by Devin

[Gesundheit2]

18 minutes ago, Devin said:

Women's relationship/personal goals (not professional) change/develop/grow more than men's.

What exactly are these goals that motivate women to divorce? To get stigmatized? To destroy their children's childhood? To hurt their husbands?

[Devin]

Just now, Gesundheit2 said:

What exactly are these goals that motivate women to divorce? To get stigmatized? To destroy their children's childhood? To hurt their husbands?

Deeper emotional connection, deeper relationship.

[Gesundheit2]

2 minutes ago, Devin said:

Deeper emotional connection, deeper relationship.

What's the equivalent of that for men pursuing better jobs?

Edited March 4, 2023 by Gesundheit2

[Devin]

       This isn't saying most breakups are because of this, the video is pointed toward a healthy audience to IMPROVE relationships. People with kids won't divorce because of this, maybe after kids are grown...

Edited March 4, 2023 by Devin