Anima Issue in Men - Marie Louise Von Franz

[Gesundheit2]

@Lila9

What's attractive? The assertiveness and strong boundaries? Or the vulnerability?

I'm asking because the title and content of the video seem different to me. He titled it "vulnerability", but the message was mostly about healthy boundaries.

[CARDOZZO]

@Emerald  

[Gesundheit2]

4 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Being vulnerable and setting healthy bounderies aren't opposites, they go hand by hand.

Yes they are not opposites, but I don't think they always go hand in hand either. I can express my boundaries in several ways, vulnerability is one of them, strength is another. There are other ways as well, depending on the frame I want to set.

If we take the element of vulnerability alone on its own, is it attractive to you in its own right? Like a whiny man or one with a victim's mentality?

Edited March 12, 2023 by Gesundheit2

[Gesundheit2]

8 hours ago, Lila9 said:

What is strength in your eyes? How you define it besides having boundaries?

It's not just in my eyes. I think that a lot of people would easily recognize strength when they see it. Of course, many people can be deceived into thinking that some displays of strength are actually strength when they are not necessarily it, but generally speaking, actual strength is almost undeniable in how distinct and clear it is.

So, strength can come in various forms, like physical, financial, mental, emotional, etc. But the common denominator would be things like durability, maintainability (both short and long terms), responsibility, sovereignty, wisdom, maturity, confidence, the ability to take on difficult challenges, taking action despite doubts and fears, the ability to go through tough times when necessary, etc.

8 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Vulnerability that is expressed in an assertive and direct way, from a grounded place of awarness and honesty is the most attractive thing in people, in my opinion, because it's so damn courageous and it really helps to communicate better, to connect better and to solve problems better in intimate relationships and it shows that the person have a soul and he's a confident and whole human.

It seems like you're describing strength that is expressed through vulnerability, which is likely the result of integrating the masculine and the feminine. So, it's like the black dot in the white, or the white dot in the black (from the yin-yang symbol).

In other words, what you're describing is a form of strength that acknowledges vulnerability, knows its place, and allows it to be. Like a warmer, more conscious and considerate form of strength. And yes, that is probably attractive to many people, especially if they are strong people in the first place.

But pure strength is also attractive on its own for many people. I guess it depends on one's internal settings and how their masculine vs. feminine balance is like.

8 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Whining and complaining and victim mentality are the consequences of repressing simple expression of vulnerability, whether by personal reasons like familiy's dynamics from childhood (people who learned that it's unsafe to express real parts of them and be in vulnarble position because it leads to bad consequences), or social norms that encourge hiding behind a persona, but that doesn't really erase the vulnerable parts in us, it actually makes them more impulsive, dramatic, less controllable, more unexpected in their reactions, and usually it comes in unattractive ways like whining, judging, blaming, complaining, acting passive agressive and being immature. 

Yes, Anima issues.

[Spiral]

On 03/03/2023 at 3:23 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

In my opinion its complete opposite, males are supressing their masculine side and feminine is dominating ,thats why there is problem talking to them and attracting.

You start to daydream because thats your only option,because nobody teaches you game and get rid of feminine dominating in you, but quick fixes and tricks...

That is what happens when men want the affection of women. As oppose to the respect and approval of their follow man. The latter leads to the former anyway.