I went for erotic massage being high af

[Realms of Wonder]

29 minutes ago, Vlad_ said:

yo man, it's soooo cute  

Thanks man  

 

I remember 5 years ago when I dropped out of college, I couldn't even talk to girls unless I drunk or stoned, the depth of my self hatred was dark, along with that a coping mechanism of people pleasing and neurotic agreeableness. At the time I wasn't even aware of the depth of my disfunction, or my potential. An Eye opening LSD experience shifted the entire trajectory of my life, and from there it a good 3.5 years where I barely even talked to girls, I had so much to work through psychologically, psychedelic's were a pivotal tool during that time, as I healed I reflected on what my choices had led me to the hell I created. During that time I really wanted sexual intimacy, I wanted so badly to have a girlfriend, to have someone that loved me.

 

Eventually when I did end up attracting women into my life, (about two years ago,) I was still pretty needy and inauthentic, at the same time, they were so incompatible I could barely stand their personality.

 

Imagine who you would need to be to attract a high quality women into your life. One that you connect with deeply, on a emotional, intellectual level and spiritual level, is conscious and is growing, takes care of her health and looks the way you want her to. That Future you is possible, and that relationship is too. 

[Jannes]

2 hours ago, Roy said:

lol? Everyone that goes to the club is either drunk or high on a ton of different drugs. That's the whole point.

I am not a huge club goer so maybe my observation is incorrect but what I see is that the majority of people there do alcohol or drugs that make them less conscious. 

[Chives99]

you aint going to find a girlfriend in a nightclub hate to break it to you

[flowboy]

13 hours ago, Vlad_ said:

But I hope that there are plenty of good looking girls who are able to talk about something serious. I just need to approach a thousand women to verify my assumption. 

How are you going to turn a "conversation about something serious" into sex, though?

You're so stuck in this "omg why nobody as deep as me", it's totally an ego trip.

And I was the same way.

People like to be playful and light when they're just getting to know each other.

And you know what? It's awesome. It's exhilirating to play and to flirt.

Don't knock it till you try it.

I've had a lot of benefits from joining an improv comedy course, I can highly recommend it.

Edited February 27, 2023 by flowboy

[flowboy]

@Vlad_  I feel like I want to give you a good tickle until you loosen up, then grab a girl off the street and put you in front of each other, and talk to you both until you see that you have more in common than you think because you're both humans with fears and desires and a life story who want intimacy. Then leave you to it.

But alas, we live in different countries.

P.S. weed is not helping you

[Vlad_]

13 hours ago, Realms of Wonder said:

Thanks man  

 

I remember 5 years ago when I dropped out of college, I couldn't even talk to girls unless I drunk or stoned, the depth of my self hatred was dark, along with that a coping mechanism of people pleasing and neurotic agreeableness. At the time I wasn't even aware of the depth of my disfunction, or my potential. An Eye opening LSD experience shifted the entire trajectory of my life, and from there it a good 3.5 years where I barely even talked to girls, I had so much to work through psychologically, psychedelic's were a pivotal tool during that time, as I healed I reflected on what my choices had led me to the hell I created. During that time I really wanted sexual intimacy, I wanted so badly to have a girlfriend, to have someone that loved me.

 

Eventually when I did end up attracting women into my life, (about two years ago,) I was still pretty needy and inauthentic, at the same time, they were so incompatible I could barely stand their personality.

 

Imagine who you would need to be to attract a high quality women into your life. One that you connect with deeply, on a emotional, intellectual level and spiritual level, is conscious and is growing, takes care of her health and looks the way you want her to. That Future you is possible, and that relationship is too. 

I also use psychedelics to deal with personal issues and traumas. I've been uncovering a lot of bullshit in my psyche for the last few months and I still need to go a long way. 

In order to attract a high quality women in my life, I think I need to be also a high quality. For that I need to do a lot of things, but I'm just 25 and I have time. 

[Vlad_]

2 hours ago, flowboy said:

How are you going to turn a "conversation about something serious" into sex, though?

Sex is important for me, but if a girl can't hold a serious conversation she loses her attractiveness and value for me. 

2 hours ago, flowboy said:

You're so stuck in this "omg why nobody as deep as me", it's totally an ego trip.

Well, I didn't say that. There are many girls who can be way more deeper in topics then me, but it's rather uncommon. 

[Vlad_]

2 hours ago, flowboy said:

@Vlad_  I feel like I want to give you a good tickle until you loosen up, then grab a girl off the street and put you in front of each other, and talk to you both until you see that you have more in common than you think because you're both humans with fears and desires and a life story who want intimacy. Then leave you to it.

But alas, we live in different countries.

P.S. weed is not helping you

Weed definitely isn't my friend. 

I've developed addiction because I smoke weed couple times a week for the last year. 

[Chives99]

Women are highly social so deeper stuff probably isnt as much as an interest commonly as its too logical

[Chives99]

@Vlad_ weed is fine if you smoke a little on an evening like having a beer of 2

[flowboy]

8 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

@Vlad_ weed is fine if you smoke a little on an evening like having a beer of 2

No.

9 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

Women are highly social so deeper stuff probably isnt as much as an interest commonly as its too logical

There's also emotional deep stuff.

You guys are blind to the fact that it's sort of neurotic to want to immediately go into deep topics with people - that's not how men and women naturally connect. That doesn't mean that women are not deep.

You can tell intelligence through short-and-sweet, playful conversations. Just look at how she makes small and big choices and how she thinks about things. You don't need to grill her on Nietsche.

Edited February 27, 2023 by flowboy

[Sincerity]

23 minutes ago, flowboy said:

You guys are blind to the fact that it's sort of neurotic to want to immediately go into deep topics with people - that's not how men and women naturally connect. That doesn't mean that women are not deep.

You can tell intelligence through short-and-sweet, playful conversations. Just look at how she makes small and big choices and how she thinks about things. You don't need to grill her on Nietsche.

Great point.

I was falling into the trap of wanting to immediately go into deep and serious topics for a long time. I'm not sure what the root cause of this desire was. Maybe lack of intimacy? Feeling misunderstood? Feeling unappreciated? Idk, I'm spitballing. 

Light conversations are awesome.

[Vlad_]

20 minutes ago, flowboy said:

There's also emotional deep stuff.

You guys are blind to the fact that it's sort of neurotic to want to immediately go into deep topics with people - that's not how men and women naturally connect. That doesn't mean that women are not deep.

You can tell intelligence through short-and-sweet, playful conversations. Just look at how she makes small and big choices and how she thinks about things. You don't need to grill her on Nietsche.

It's actually healthy to be able to go into deep topics right off the bet. Neurotic people avoid deep conversations because they are afraid to open. 

Women's intelligence for me is defined not by ability to talk about Nietsche, but rather her preferred topics and the way of seeing things. If all she talks is fashion, movies, trends, clothes, parties, Instagram  etc. she's not intelligent for me. 

 

 

[flowboy]

42 minutes ago, Vlad_ said:

It's actually healthy to be able to go into deep topics right off the bet. Neurotic people avoid deep conversations because they are afraid to open. 

Sure it's healthy to be able to. I'm able to and the healthier I become mentally, the more I'm able to go into deep topics quickly with people.

I'm saying one would be neglecting the dynamics of masculine-feminine attraction if one skips things like playfulness, showing leadership, emotional intelligence, courage, basically putting forward your masculine qualities while drawing out her feminine qualities, and tries to jump straight to intellectual discourse, and still expects intercourse.

Maybe I'm misreading you and you're already doing that.

In which case you should have no trouble getting girls.

Edited February 27, 2023 by flowboy

[Vlad_]

1 hour ago, Chives99 said:

@Vlad_ weed is fine if you smoke a little on an evening like having a beer of 2

haha that was my starting point. Now I smoke a lot or do edibles 

[Chives99]

I love playfulness and fun, but i would love to joke around with girl that likes metaphysical topics like, maybe ive been in a coma for 10 years and your just my subconscious or maybe u are actually my doctors and hospital staff and my senses are making you characters in my dream, but most people are like dude are you on lsd right now lol, it does provide alternative humour though even if they dont entirely get it.

[Chives99]

2 minutes ago, Vlad_ said:

haha that was my starting point. Now I smoke a lot or do edibles 

I like weed, but not during the day, as I would get nothing done 

[Vlad_]

20 minutes ago, flowboy said:

still expects intercourse.

You're stressing too much on intercourse. if it's that important for you it's great. For me it's also important, but what I seek is not sex. I seek intimacy and intellectual connection. if I have intellectual connection then of course I want sex. 

I'm having troubles getting high-quality girls, but I don't give a damn about one-night stands with bubbly chicks in clubs. Again, nothing wrong with them and a lot of men like these type of women. 

My standards are different. 

[flowboy]

12 minutes ago, Vlad_ said:

if I have intellectual connection then of course I want sex. 

I'm dating a solid 8 stage yellow girl who intellectually blows me away regularly, so maybe you should stop assuming that I'm telling you to go get bubbly chicks in clubs and actually read what I'm saying. Or not, I don't care at this point.

Also she's not the first woman I've dated who I could talk about spiral dynamics with for example.

Did I do that right off the bat?

NO.

The first interactions were playful and with lots of sexual tension.

Because that's how men and women connect.

You can't skip these things.

Edited February 27, 2023 by flowboy

[Vlad_]

10 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

I love playfulness and fun, but i would love to joke around with girl that likes metaphysical topics like, maybe ive been in a coma for 10 years and your just my subconscious or maybe u are actually my doctors and hospital staff and my senses are making you characters in my dream, but most people are like dude are you on lsd right now lol, it does provide alternative humour though even if they dont entirely get it.

I also like playfulness and fun as well. It's not like I want to talk about some deep shit always. But if she can't talk about some serious topics then she's not my cup of tee