I went for erotic massage being high af

[Vlad_]

It's been almost two years since I had sex for the last time, so I'm trying to cope with it as good as I can. Talking to girls isn't bringing me results at all (because I'm not yet experienced which is why I decided to go for a massage yesterday. 

Before going to the place I ate 3 edibles (each 10mg THC) and by the time I was standing at the reception I was actually high as fuck. Weed enhances my perception, intuition and empathy. As soon as I walked in I begun to feel some sort of pain. It seemed like the entire vibe of the place was pain, but I wanted to see what was gonna happen. 

There is a sauna and a pool at the place as well. It's all made in a luxury style, even the sign on the robe that I received was some kind of a king's crown. I believe it's to made men in the place to feel like kings or alfa like. I found it funny and sad at the same time, because in reality men who go there are despaired and far from being kings. They struggle to get the very basic need - sex. 

As I was soothing in jacuzzi with a bunch of other guys I concentrated on what  they were talking about. It was sad because they were trying to talk 'cool' and to show off to each other, trying to be someone they were not apparently. I could cut trough their bulshit and again, I felt their pain behind every word. I asked myself a question "What the fuck am I doing here?". Of course I had the same reason as these guys - I was despaired and needy for a female touch as well. I actually felt like crying, but an attendant told me that my  masseuse was ready for the massage. 

I walked in the room feeling weird as fuck. There she was staying, young Canadian girl. She was pretty. I  got undressed and laid on the massage desk. The lightening was perfect, the music in the room was accommodating. But I still could feel the pain from every corner. 

As she began doing the massage we started talking. I don't think I ever talked to somebody in a such honest manner. At least not to girls. I was completely honest, vulnerable with her. I asked her what she was doing here and she said she needed money to finish her education. It made me feel horrible. She also told me that she has some kind of a psychological issues and that she had spent some time in a psychiatric clinic. ... 

I asked her what kind of a man come for massage and she told me it's mostly overweight, old men, psychologically unstable men and - "Normal man, like you". 

At some point I realized that what I looking for isn't sex, it's intimacy. 

My problem is in my personal experience the more hot girl the harder it is to find common topics to talk about. I'm not saying girls are less intelligent it's just hard to find an attractive girl with a high integrity, interest in psychology or self-development. I really really hope that it's just my limiting believes or bias.  

Anyways, I told this girl that I don't want the "happy ending part". It just didn't feel a right thing to do. Not because it's bad or immoral. It's because I could foresee the waive of pain waiting for me afterwards had I agreed on happy ending. Funny enough I was satisficed with the conversation. 

Have you ever been to this kind of places? How was experience? 

[Realms of Wonder]

How did she respond?

[Vlad_]

31 minutes ago, Realms of Wonder said:

How did she respond?

She was puzzled. She said - "Are you sure?" and I said "Yes, I want to keep talking to you."

[Jannes]

Yeah men I feel you. I am also horny as fuck but what I am actually seeking is intimacy. A place of comfort and healing.

Good that you came in terms with yourself and good discoveries. Being high at places where most are anti high like the club puts you in front of a goldmine for understanding society. 

There is some female psychologist who worked voluntarily at a strip club as a prostitute for psychological research. She wrote a book about it. Haven't read it but I just know that she said that that's the place of society where people are most honest. 

And high consciousness thing of you to keep your load. I mean you were high lol.. ?

[Chives99]

pretty deep conversation for a massage, I wouldn't class erotic massages as prostitution its just a massage thats extra sensual, its not like your having sex with her.

[Vlad_]

21 hours ago, Jannes said:

Yeah men I feel you. I am also horny as fuck but what I am actually seeking is intimacy. A place of comfort and healing.

Good that you came in terms with yourself and good discoveries. Being high at places where most are anti high like the club puts you in front of a goldmine for understanding society. 

There is some female psychologist who worked voluntarily at a strip club as a prostitute for psychological research. She wrote a book about it. Haven't read it but I just know that she said that that's the place of society where people are most honest. 

And high consciousness thing of you to keep your load. I mean you were high lol.. ?

I feel like I desperately need a feminine energy, especially for the last few months. 

I kept my load, because my integrity is a higher priority for me (not always though).

Working as a prostitute for a psychological research sounds fun 

[Vlad_]

4 hours ago, Chives99 said:

pretty deep conversation for a massage, I wouldn't class erotic massages as prostitution its just a massage thats extra sensual, its not like your having sex with her.

I like to have deep conversations with people in general. Even with strangers.

The problem is most of people I meet don't like to talk about serious things. 

They like to talk about weather, movies, tv-shows, music, news, and other chicken-shit. 

There's nothing wrong with these topics, but I personally not interested in them. 

Especially it's hard for me to find a girl with brains and with cute appearance. Most of the time it's one or the other. 

[Chives99]

@Vlad_ im the same, but i dont think most people really deeply question these things, they just do things because they want to make money and live, life isnt really meaningful to them.

[Vlad_]

10 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

@Vlad_ im the same, but i dont think most people really deeply question these things, they just do things because they want to make money and live, life isnt really meaningful to them.

Yeah, they just live like sheep. 

Most of the people around me are stage orange, blue and rarely green. 

I need Yellows 

[StarStruck]

On 25-2-2023 at 5:27 PM, Vlad_ said:

At some point I realized that what I looking for isn't sex, it's intimacy. 

 

This is also the case with porn addiction for a lot of guys.

Actually it is love which is intimacy on the level of the soul that males and females seek. Because it feeds the soul instead of the animal ego.

To be honest, I don't get why you didn't go for the happy ending and bust all over her chest. You still would have intimacy. And she would be happy to pleasure a guy that is not a weirdo for once. But that is just me.

That pain thing you felt was your own pain projected onto the place.

Edited February 26, 2023 by StarStruck

[Chives99]

I find it hard to relate to women because they just like talking about mundane trivial bullshit whos being gossiping about who, who cheated on who, whos sleeping with who, getting your nails done and going to kfc and the movies, its just bores me to death but i crave a deep connection , i dont see the point in  talking to a girl about trivial stuff but its hard to find women that are into deep topics.

[Chives99]

6 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

This is also the case with porn addiction for a lot of guys.

Actually it is love which is intimacy on the level of the soul that males and females seek. Because it feeds the soul instead of the animal ego.

To be honest, I don't get why you didn't go for the happy ending and bust all over her chest. You still would have intimacy. And she would be happy to pleasure a guy that is not a weirdo for once. But that is just me.

That pain thing you felt was your own pain projected onto the place.

go for a prostate massage dont knock a finger up the bum until youve tried it

[StarStruck]

42 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

I find it hard to relate to women because they just like talking about mundane trivial bullshit whos being gossiping about who, who cheated on who, whos sleeping with who, getting your nails done and going to kfc and the movies, its just bores me to death but i crave a deep connection , i dont see the point in  talking to a girl about trivial stuff but its hard to find women that are into deep topics.

You can't go inside a brothel and expect people to talk about some deep shit; people go there to be milked. Same counts for nightclubs and other shallow places; people come there to have fun and not be studious. Not everybody is a studious fuck bro. I always try not to judge people. People might seem shallow but you never know what happens behind the curtains of a person's persona.

Edited February 26, 2023 by StarStruck

[Vlad_]

53 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

This is also the case with porn addiction for a lot of guys.

Porn is another problem that I've been trying to tackle. Now it's not a big deal because I watch it a few times a week. When I was in my teenage years I would prefer to jerk off on porn and play videogames instead of going out and socializing. Now I'm paying the price for it. 

 

55 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

To be honest, I don't get why you didn't go for the happy ending and bust all over her chest. You still would have intimacy. And she would be happy to pleasure a guy that is not a weirdo for once. But that is just me.

I just didn't feel like. 

 

57 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

That pain thing you felt was your own pain projected onto the place.

You got me my friend. It's 100% truth. 

[Vlad_]

52 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

I find it hard to relate to women because they just like talking about mundane trivial bullshit whos being gossiping about who, who cheated on who, whos sleeping with who, getting your nails done and going to kfc and the movies, its just bores me to death but i crave a deep connection , i dont see the point in  talking to a girl about trivial stuff but its hard to find women that are into deep topics.

Bro, I think exactly the same. 

But I hope that there are plenty of good looking girls who are able to talk about something serious. I just need to approach a thousand women to verify my assumption. 

 

[Realms of Wonder]

17 minutes ago, Vlad_ said:

But I hope that there are plenty of good looking girls who are able to talk about something serious. I just need to approach a thousand women to verify my assumption. 

 

There are. while living my purpose my current Girlfriend and I stumbled into each other, she is so passionate about growing and authenticity it blows my mind sometimes.

 

I think a big part of why women are often seem so shallow is because of where men go to meet them.

 

For example, if one goes hiking, or to yoga, or to a personal development conference, or a workshop in a specific field one is excited about, works at a job they love, etc.. The chances of meeting someone of higher quality goes up.

 

I imagine going to a club looking for beautiful AND high quality/conscious women is like going to the north pole looking for giraffes.

[Vlad_]

35 minutes ago, Realms of Wonder said:

There are. while living my purpose my current Girlfriend and I stumbled into each other, she is so passionate about growing and authenticity it blows my mind sometimes.

I'm really happy for you my friend.  Where did you meet her? 

 

36 minutes ago, Realms of Wonder said:

or example, if one goes hiking, or to yoga, or to a personal development conference, or a workshop in a specific field one is excited about, works at a job they love, etc.. The chances of meeting someone of higher quality goes up.

I guess that's the reason why I can't find a high-value girl in a night club. Mot of the girls there just get drunk and dance. I should change gaming area or expend it to more than just clubs.

[Realms of Wonder]

I traveled from west coast to east coast to be experience being camp counselor for fourteen ten year old's, the goal was to Love these kids and impact them in any way I could. She was the one serving me Gluten free pancakes in the mornings <3 

[Roy]

On 2/25/2023 at 0:13 PM, Jannes said:

Being high at places where most are anti high like the club

lol? Everyone that goes to the club is either drunk or high on a ton of different drugs. That's the whole point.

[Vlad_]

15 minutes ago, Realms of Wonder said:

I traveled from west coast to east coast to be experience being camp counselor for fourteen ten year old's, the goal was to Love these kids and impact them in any way I could. She was the one serving me Gluten free pancakes in the mornings <3 

yo man, it's soooo cute