Creating trust with girls in PUA situations

[StarStruck]

So I encountered this girl outside of the super market. We vibes really well because we study the same science. Suddenly she says: “is this your pickup routine?” I couldn’t deny so I said “yes, did it work?”. She says no because “you have to put more effort in, I don’t know you enough”. This was her first shit test and I fucked up majorly. I basically couldn’t produce any game. And I forced the situation by asking about her school and stuff. Afterward I said I needed to go and if she wanted to grab a coffee and she said no. I feel like I messed up because her non verbals gave away she liked me but I couldn’t build to comfort. She literally told me at one point I don’t know if you are a human or an animal in a joking way to tell me there is a lack of trust from her side. How would you have dealt with this situation? 

[NoSelfSelf]

Asking did it work revealed you...

[D2sage]

Most Girls that end up in my bed are from me not trying at all in situations.

Like one women was baffled I did not try to get her naked. She asked why. I said I survive ?

Get naked a lot with other women. Thats how you pickup women easy.

She will smell pussy on you and you will see women buy you drinks and ask for a dance ?

Most guys wont even exfoliate their facial skin from dead skin cells, and yet they wonder why women never approach.

Edited February 23, 2023 by D2sage

[hyruga]

You asked that because you did not have enough core confidence in yourself.

Just imagine, if you are Conor McGregor and the girl asked you that. What would you say? "I don't need all these pick up techniques."

[StarStruck]

6 hours ago, hyruga said:

You asked that because you did not have enough core confidence in yourself.

Just imagine, if you are Conor McGregor and the girl asked you that. What would you say? "I don't need all these pick up techniques."

Do you think girls are so sensitive? I agree that my vibe was confirmation and approval seeking. It is so hard to weed this out of my personality.

This girl was totally my type (east European) and she was also interested in me so I’m a little sad that I messed this one up. 

Her verbals and non verbals communicated to me she was liked in me but I didn’t give her the right vibes. 

In couple of points in the conversation I just stumbled in the conversation and to save the interaction I pushed the conversation a little. This was another fuck up. 
 

9 hours ago, D2sage said:

Most Girls that end up in my bed are from me not trying at all in situations.

Like one women was baffled I did not try to get her naked. She asked why. I said I survive ?

Get naked a lot with other women. Thats how you pickup women easy.

She will smell pussy on you and you will see women buy you drinks and ask for a dance ?

Most guys wont even exfoliate their facial skin from dead skin cells, and yet they wonder why women never approach.

how do you pick up without trying? If I don’t push the conversation it basically ends. In the beginning you have to put %90 of the effort and lead the conversation. This a major stumbling block for me.

[D2sage]

By not having any intentions to get her naked I probably come across as non-needy in my spech and vibe.

And I can just talk like she's a close friend. Conversation flows naturally.

[StarStruck]

2 minutes ago, D2sage said:

By not having any intentions to get her naked I probably come across as non-needy in my spech and vibe.

And I can just talk like she's a close friend. Conversation flows naturally.

How would you have dealt with her saying: "I don't know if you are a good guy or bad guy?".. She said this in a flirting way

I tried to prove I'm a good guy which was a fuck up.

[D2sage]

Depends on how she is as a person.

I said once I want to know if you're a good girl or a bad girl, tonight.

One time I wanted to sound like a total cliche. I said in a sarcastic way that I'm the perfect guy, I will bring breakfast to your bed and bring you flowers every Friday.

More importantly is tone of voice. I think how you say is more important than what you say.

 

[StarStruck]

46 minutes ago, D2sage said:

Depends on how she is as a person.

I said once I want to know if you're a good girl or a bad girl, tonight.

One time I wanted to sound like a total cliche. I said in a sarcastic way that I'm the perfect guy, I will bring breakfast to your bed and bring you flowers every Friday.

More importantly is tone of voice. I think how you say is more important than what you say.

 

So you turn it around. How could I not think of this

If it is a hot girl, I usually mess up with her shit tests.

Quote

She will smell pussy on you and you will see women buy you drinks and ask for a dance ?

This is so true but counter intuitive. They want a loyal guy but at the same time also want a guy that has other girls.

[Vrubel]

@StarStruck I got that particular question once: "do you approach more often?". I don't even know whether to consider it a shit test or a genuine question. I just repeated my opening line with full conviction "I really like your style" so this made her still feel special in a way.

But in my experience feminine high quality girls will never ask such a question. Because they'll understand that this question is highly annoying and know that most guys want to approach them but are afraid to. 

Edited February 25, 2023 by Vrubel

[Ulax]

On 23/02/2023 at 9:29 PM, StarStruck said:

So I encountered this girl outside of the super market. We vibes really well because we study the same science. Suddenly she says: “is this your pickup routine?” I couldn’t deny so I said “yes, did it work?”. She says no because “you have to put more effort in, I don’t know you enough”. This was her first shit test and I fucked up majorly. I basically couldn’t produce any game. And I forced the situation by asking about her school and stuff. Afterward I said I needed to go and if she wanted to grab a coffee and she said no. I feel like I messed up because her non verbals gave away she liked me but I couldn’t build to comfort. She literally told me at one point I don’t know if you are a human or an animal in a joking way to tell me there is a lack of trust from her side. How would you have dealt with this situation? 

@StarStruck Just sounds like you failed the shit test to me, and then it went south from there.

I would have agreed and exaggerated on the shit test. I.e. 'Is this your pickup routine?', can reply with 'Damn, you got me! I practice it for 5 hours in the mirror everyday!'.

I used to like doing agree and exaggerate because it makes it fun for me as well. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Ulax Its more than a pick up routine its a way of life...its something that makes me feel alive,grateful and ready to express everything i am in every moment,my universe is so wast and i made everything for myself to enjoy,  then in the end make some room for you to be the part of that wastness that i am! so take my number if you are ready to come on that ride with me ;)... ?

[StarStruck]

3 hours ago, Vrubel said:

@StarStruck I got that particular question once: "do you approach more often?". I don't even know whether to consider it a shit test or a genuine question. I just repeated my opening line with full conviction "I really like your style" so this made her still feel special in a way.

But in my experience feminine high quality girls will never ask such a question. Because they'll understand that this question is highly annoying and know that most guys want to approach them but are afraid to. 

I didn’t create enough emotional connection. At one point she said I would like to go on a coffee with you but I don’t know you enough. But I agree with you. Holding frame is very important. Girls are so sensitive to frame. 

3 hours ago, Ulax said:

@StarStruck Just sounds like you failed the shit test to me, and then it went south from there.

I would have agreed and exaggerated on the shit test. I.e. 'Is this your pickup routine?', can reply with 'Damn, you got me! I practice it for 5 hours in the mirror everyday!'.

I used to like doing agree and exaggerate because it makes it fun for me as well. 

Girls like confidence and confidence comes from competence. I have deep confidence issues I need to work on. No amount of game will save you if you have deep insecurities. 

I can get ok looking girls but the very hot ones want you to have confidence. 
 

2 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Ulax Its more than a pick up routine its a way of life...its something that makes me feel alive,grateful and ready to express everything i am in every moment,my universe is so wast and i made everything for myself to enjoy,  then in the end make some room for you to be the part of that wastness that i am! so take my number if you are ready to come on that ride with me ;)... ?

That was my frame. I was mesmerized by her beauty. She was Mother Nature’s favorite daughter. She couldn’t be more beautiful. But like Mother Nature she can also be mean. If you want to survive in Mother Nature you need competence and that is what I lacked. I think that exp tried to tell me that. Or that is how I looked at the situation. 

Edited February 25, 2023 by StarStruck

[Vrubel]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

I didn’t create enough emotional connection. At one point she said I would like to go on a coffee with you but I don’t know you enough. But I agree with you. Holding frame is very important. Girls are so sensitive to frame.

You must always be non-needy/pushy and ready to let her go. Like "I would like to meet you but if you don't want to, that's okay". It's impossible to hold frame if you're not willing to give her up. Your frame/principles/self-respect always come first. 

When approaching train yourself to say goodbye to girls as soon as you notice micro-expressions of non-interest. (like looking away, energy is off, non-investment). Again your whole frame is "I would like to meet you but if you don't want to, that's okay". And when you do come across a girl that is into you she won't even shit test on neediness because she can feel that's a non-issue for you. 

 

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

That was my frame. I was mesmerized by her beauty. She was Mother Nature’s favorite daughter. 

Haha shit frame. She should have sensed that you only date the hottest girls and that she is not a big deal for you.

The highest and most enjoyable form of day game is when you only approach the hottest girls that are your type and you're genuinely attracted to. This means no approaching of girls that are below your high standard or simply are not your type. For example, there are "objectively hot women" but if she is not your type you still don't approach her. 
 

[Leo Gura]

If a girl calls you out for using pickup lines, you gotta stand firm and call her out on her shit. Like this: "Well, how else am I supposed to meet you? I saw you. I felt attracted. I came over. I'm a simple guy. And the opening line I use is irrelevant. I could have stopped you with the line: I love chicken."

Or, a dead simple alternative to all that would be: "I don't use pickup lines when I got real game. Pickup lines are for children."

But if you're gonna say that, you have to not be using canned pickup lines.

You create trust by being genuine. Have nothing to hide.

Edited February 25, 2023 by Leo Gura

[StarStruck]

@Vrubel @Leo Gura so I have to be genuine and non-needy at the same time. That is not possible for me. The girls I want are like 9/10 or 10/10. I desire them and she knows it, even if I say nothing stupid and have good verbals, she can read it off my face. She liked me also, I could read it off her face but my game sucked.

I just need to fix my inner game and a big part of that is deep insecurities. I'm making big leaps by creating inner lotus of control and creating a strong frame but this is not done overnight.

[Leo Gura]

@StarStruck That's your big mistake right there. DO NOT HIDE YOUR RAW DESIRE FOR THE GIRL FROM THE GIRL.

It should be obvious from your approach that you desire her. But you can express thia desire in a needy or non-needy way.

Try opening with the line: "I desire you." And then just stand there looking smug and see how she reacts.

Girls LOVE to be desired by high value guys!

Also, lower your standards from 9's and 10's to 6's. You need EXPERIENCE! Go fuck a 200 pound girl just for the experience! I don't care if you don't enjoy it.

Edited February 25, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Vrubel]

@StarStruck Being non-needy is a foundation block of pickup. Surely you're not needy all the time. I know of myself that I feel shitty and needy right after a flake of a good girl. But after a week or so I pick myself up again and get more detached. When you're pushing in an approach that's a sign of neediness. relaxation and coolness are the opposite: detachment. 

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

The girls I want are like 9/10 or 10/10.

So yeah step 1: don't be needy

After that comes the hard part which takes some real mastery. There is nothing wrong with desire, however, you do need to manage your desire. As soon as the girl finds out she can sleep with you she won't. you must give her room to chase you!  

I have had the most magical dates with hot girls where they felt very feminine and stimulated but flaked right afterward, why? she knew I would do her.
So here is the paradox of dating girls that are 10/10: while being authentic and sexual you must always be reserved and unsure about her despite her being a 10. 

You can do this by sniffing out imperfections and teasing her on it. Having a skeptical attitude also helps a lot. You can even be skeptical of a girl that is too perfect. Tease her but also be genuinely detached and unsure. The art of game is turning the tables on women. Making them the desperate hornballs and the men the coy and precious subject of desire.

Approach every date with the attitude: I don't want to fuck her (she must really earn it). 

Don't even try to take a girl home if she isn't literally attached to you and making everything very easy or when she hasn't desperately chased you.

Edited February 25, 2023 by Vrubel

[NoSelfSelf]

@StarStruck Thats an amazing paradox, how can you be in a frame when you are mesmerized by her beauty,she owns you in that moment you are done from that point on,depending on her to have mercy on you...

[Tanz]

@StarStruck Very simple don't deny your intentions. Just tell her I just think you are very pretty, "so I forced myself to talk to you", I'm sorry to make you feel put off but at least you can start/end your day with someone noticed your beauty.  

Spend your day walking to random women and men and tell them something you like about them in a neutral way with no interest to get anything from them, you'd be surprised by how well people receive you.