Virgin shaming is largely responsible for incel culture

[Jacob Morres]

Yeah i get that fr. When I was a virgin life was hard 

I wish society destimagtized being a virgin like how slut shaming is largely destimatized now in liberal areas at least 

There's a TON of shame attached to being a virgin. At least for some ppl 

Edited February 24, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[mr_engineer]

In fact, if you ask women who are the most aware of men's problems, they will say that 'men should have mentoring and 'rites of passage' that have nothing to do with women'. Because they consider a man 'ready for relationship' only after he has 'grown up'. 

[Jacob Morres]

On 2/22/2023 at 1:35 PM, Eyowey said:

Incel culture is a consequence of straightness being demonized. I feel literally like it's a crime to be straight. Talking to a girl feels like a crime.

 Dude whatever sources you're consuming man change them

 Most girls will be happy you approached them

 

 Watch for any social cues or Non verbal communication if they feel uncomfortable that's all

[something_else]

On 22/02/2023 at 7:35 PM, Eyowey said:

Incel culture is a consequence of straightness being demonized. I feel literally like it's a crime to be straight. Talking to a girl feels like a crime.

This is an 'internet opinion' by which I mean that you only end up thinking this way if you get most of your social reference points from the internet. If you actually go and talk to lots of girls you see it isn't true.

[ZenAlex]

I have no sympathy really.

Most virgin shaming will be done when we're in highschool/college and we're all just dumb teenagers.

Mature adults don't really give a shit, and who fucking cares anyway?

Man the fuck up and stop fucking giving a shit what other people think and the problem goes away.

Most people who've ever been shamed for their sexual status eventually get laid.

Just because most self-identified incels have supposedly been shamed for being virgins doesn't mean there's any correlation between being shamed and inceldom.

Most people get shamed at some point in their life. 

The reality of the matter is this - Some people aren't very attractive, and some people have social issues or just shit personalities in general that impacts their ability to interact with others. 

If you spend 10 minutes reading incel forum posts, it's clearly people who are part of that community are completely detached from a reality that they don't experience enough to understand.

There are plenty of romantically and sexually unsuccessful people out there, and the incel community is just a percentage of them who have allowed their virgin status to turn them bitter and anti-social. 

[Chives99]

2 hours ago, ZenAlex said:

I have no sympathy really.

Most virgin shaming will be done when we're in highschool/college and we're all just dumb teenagers.

Mature adults don't really give a shit, and who fucking cares anyway?

Man the fuck up and stop fucking giving a shit what other people think and the problem goes away.

Most people who've ever been shamed for their sexual status eventually get laid.

Just because most self-identified incels have supposedly been shamed for being virgins doesn't mean there's any correlation between being shamed and inceldom.

Most people get shamed at some point in their life. 

The reality of the matter is this - Some people aren't very attractive, and some people have social issues or just shit personalities in general that impacts their ability to interact with others. 

If you spend 10 minutes reading incel forum posts, it's clearly people who are part of that community are completely detached from a reality that they don't experience enough to understand.

There are plenty of romantically and sexually unsuccessful people out there, and the incel community is just a percentage of them who have allowed their virgin status to turn them bitter and anti-social. 

High school and college though is where social and emotional patterns become deeply ingrained into identity though so they carry that into adult life, neediness in adulthood is really just trying to fullfil childhood insecurities 

Edited February 24, 2023 by Chives99

[ZenAlex]

23 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

High school and college though is where social and emotional patterns become deeply ingrained into identity though so they carry that into adult life, neediness in adulthood is really just trying to fullfil childhood insecurities 

Understood, but everyone should take personal accountability really.

The Incel community tends to be toxic, and when they behave this way they deserve all the criticism they get.

[spiritual memes]

I agree. virgin shaming is pretty problematic

[Devin]

1 hour ago, ZenAlex said:

Understood, but everyone should take personal accountability really.

The Incel community tends to be toxic, and when they behave this way they deserve all the criticism they get.

Behave this way? We're talking about virgin shaming, when they're virgins in their youth they deserve shamed? You're talking about something different right?

[Ulax]

On 22/02/2023 at 5:43 PM, Chives99 said:

Guys like to bully each other to get to the top, ive encountered it during college and university , it really does make you feel worthless and your life is pointless. I saw one post on here where a guy said someone told him to kill himself because he was worthless to women, when it feels like the whole world is against you, it can make you feel miserable and bitter and when a persons self esteem is so low they feel like uttter crap. Feeling hurt can make people lash out, some people do kill themselves some people just act like a total creep to lash out at the world and in more extreme scenarios mass shootings and paedophilia since they feel like they dont belong with the world of adults but feel angry for not being accepted its form of lashing out to make people think twice about marginalising people like them in the future. This activity is all unconscious but i feel society is just so unhelpful in how they treat maginalised groups. Not agreeing with their actions either but this is where it stems from

@Chives99 Nice.

Now perhaps think about why guys like to bully each other to get on top.

 

[Chives99]

@Ulax Status seems to be everything in school, not fitting in is life and death , doesnt really matter in adulthood because people move around so much its a waste trying dominate where ever you are as the person will just quit or go else where if u make life miserable for them and you could find yourself out of a job for making a hellish work environment. This is why inceldom seems to be predominately with 20 something men, they've just left school with all the toxic imprinting from school about being worthless and a misfit so they carry that with them into adulthood and project that onto future interactions with people. I gained a ton of friends at college and uni after school so i got lucky, but people who dont believe they will ever be good enough feel on the outside and have the need to fight back against society.

 

People say just forget about school but it forms the basis of your whole identity going into adulthood and the mind will cling onto it with all its power, thats why we've seen so much loner violence from 20 something men in the past 20 years alongside social media and the internet to motivate them to spread their ideas.

[Ulax]

1 minute ago, Chives99 said:

@Ulax Status seems to be everything in school, not fitting in is life and death , doesnt really matter in adulthood because people move around so much its a waste trying dominate where ever you are as the person will just quit or go else where if u make life miserable for them and you could find yourself out of a job for making a hellish work environment. This is why inceldom seems to be predominately with 20 something men, they've just left school with all the toxic imprinting from school about being worthless and a misfit so they carry that with them into adulthood and project that onto future interactions with people. I gained a ton of friends at college and uni after school so i got lucky, but people who dont believe they will ever be good enough feel on the outside and have the need to fight back against society.

 

People say just forget about school but it forms the basis of your whole identity going into adulthood and the mind will cling onto it with all its power, thats why we've seen so much loner violence from 20 something men in the past 20 years alongside social media and the internet to motivate them to spread their ideas.

@Chives99 Ye man i think that's an interesting take regarding it being 20 something men.

School is a very traumatising place for sure, and its effects are so trivialised imo.

I think though a fuller picture of the issue could still be painted. For example, taking into account the current economic climate, the rise of common internet use, progressives not catering to the needs of young insecure men, and things like cuts to public services in various western countries. In my home country, since around 2010 there were a lot of cuts to public services, which meant things like less youth outreach services, and more stressed parents (can cause things like increased abuse imo). 

[Ulax]

3 hours ago, ZenAlex said:

Understood, but everyone should take personal accountability really.

The Incel community tends to be toxic, and when they behave this way they deserve all the criticism they get.

@Devin Well, i'd agreed that ideally for a lot of people, taking personal accountability would help.

However, you also need to keep in mind that the ability to even take personal accountability is a privilege. It takes a certain combination of factors for someone to take personal accountability, as with anything, and many people simply lack the combination of those factors.

Imo, everything works systemically so the incel community and those in it are exactly how is to be expected based on the cause and effect relationships operating in reality. 

In the grand scheme of things, the only reason i am not an incel, or currently a CEO is luck.