How to talk with somebody who has nothing going on

[StarStruck]

So some girls have literally nothing going on for them. They just have a job as a cashier and besides that no hobbies or anything else. 

There is nothing wrong with that but I find it very hard to connect to such people because what do you talk about with such people?

I feel like it is my lack of social skills because I see others talk to them and they manage to put up a conversation. 

[Rafael Thundercat]

@StarStruck You can downsize your mentality if you wish to engage and possibily have sex, but ask yourself why do you want to engage in conversation with mindless minds. For me better to save my saliva for good talks. 

[something_else]

2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

So some girls have literally nothing going on for them. They just have a job as a cashier and besides that no hobbies or anything else. 

There is nothing wrong with that but I find it very hard to connect to such people because what do you talk about with such people?

I feel like it is my lack of social skills because I see others talk to them and they manage to put up a conversation. 

Throw a lot of logic out of the window and just learn to be playful and fun. Fun conversations are rarely about the content of what you're saying, they're usually about the energy between you. The hardest people to have conversations with are people who have no energy, not the people who have nothing going on in life.

It's easier said than done. But the gist of it is getting out of your head, not thinking about the content of what you're saying too much, relaxing, and letting go of the logical flow of a conversation.

Learn to make stupidly lateral connections from what a person says, don't answer literally, intentionally misinterpret what they say etc. etc. 

For example if someone told you they were a cashier rather than just saying "oh thats nice, I bet you have interesting stories about shitty customers" you could say "i bet you must fucking hate people with a job like that" with a playful energy which well then coax out those stories in a more entertaining way

[UnbornTao]

5 hours ago, StarStruck said:

So some girls have literally nothing going on for them. They just have a job as a cashier and besides that no hobbies or anything else. 

There is nothing wrong with that but I find it very hard to connect to such people because what do you talk about with such people?

I feel like it is my lack of social skills because I see others talk to them and they manage to put up a conversation. 

She probably has interests, stuff she likes -- sports, fashion, philosophy, music. What does she want to create? 

Ask about that, perhaps.

Edited February 21, 2023 by UnbornTao

[StarStruck]

7 hours ago, something_else said:

Throw a lot of logic out of the window and just learn to be playful and fun. Fun conversations are rarely about the content of what you're saying, they're usually about the energy between you. The hardest people to have conversations with are people who have no energy, not the people who have nothing going on in life.

It's easier said than done. But the gist of it is getting out of your head, not thinking about the content of what you're saying too much, relaxing, and letting go of the logical flow of a conversation.

Learn to make stupidly lateral connections from what a person says, don't answer literally, intentionally misinterpret what they say etc. etc. 

For example if someone told you they were a cashier rather than just saying "oh thats nice, I bet you have interesting stories about shitty customers" you could say "i bet you must fucking hate people with a job like that" with a playful energy which well then coax out those stories in a more entertaining way

This is my problem.

Lately I have been doing a lot of meditation and some trauma energy has taken possession over me. I think I should stop socializing for some while until I dealt with this trauma energy.

Basically I have to be in the now, let go of my ego (past), and just do what you said in bold letters.

4 hours ago, UnbornTao said:

She probably has interests, stuff she likes -- sports, fashion, philosophy, music. What does she want to create? 

Ask about that, perhaps.

Dancing, watching netflix, this kind of stuff.