I awakened and I don't like it

[Ninja_pig]

I took 6g of mushrooms. I found out that I imagined the entire universe and then I imagined that I was a random guy in that universe. There are no other conscious beings in the entire universe. I didn't tell this to my friends because because I would basically be telling them they are not real. Mushrooms were fun for me until I took such a big dose. Now it's not fun. People said awakening would be a euphoric experience but it was the opposite for me. I found out that I'm completely alone and will always be alone. The dream will continue dreaming forever and always and there is no stopping it. I considered killing myself but I realized that would probably just end this dream and start a new one (I think). What is right here is all there is, all there ever was, and all there ever can be. A perpetual moment that is reality.

I'm asking the dream to help me come to terms with the dream. Don't you guys who have awakened feel alone? Isn't it depressing that reality is a never ending process of duality and I'm completely alone? I'm literally talking to myself right now but how the hell do I come to terms with this and accept this? The dream helped the dream realize what it is before, can it offer more assistance to itself now? Please someone help me.

[The Mystical Man]

2 minutes ago, Ninja_pig said:

There are no other conscious beings in the entire universe.

Of course there are. I'm here ?‍♂️

[Leo Gura]

9 minutes ago, Ninja_pig said:

Mushrooms were fun for me until I took such a big dose.

Well, just don't take such big doses.

Truth/God is an acquired taste. It takes a lot of inner work to start to appreciate the beauty of it, otherwise your ego is just reacting and acting up.

It IS euphoric, just get your ego and human baggage out of the way.

Also, mushrooms are challenging at such high doses. When some nondual guy on YT tells you nonduality is beautiful, he's not talking about 6 grams of mushrooms

Edited February 21, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Ninja_pig]

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Of course there are. I'm here ?‍♂️

That's what a dream character pretending to be an "other" consciousness would say haha.

this is why I don't tell my friends and family about this...

Of course, if I saw someone else write my post I would say "That's what a dream character pretending to have woken up would say". This is why I'm asking for help.

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Well, just don't take such big doses.

Truth/God is an acquired taste. It takes a lot of inner work to start to appreciate the beauty of it, otherwise your ego is just reacting and acting up.

What kind of inner work are we talking about here? How do I appreciate the beauty of it? You got me on this Truth™ with a capital 'T' hype train Leo, and I was not prepared for it. Is my insight even correct? because if it is not then I am definitely 100% crazy.

[Yimpa]

11 minutes ago, Ninja_pig said:

I considered killing myself but I realized that would probably just end this dream and start a new one (I think).

Don’t do psychedelics solo if you have suicidal thoughts and/or mental illness. 

 

[The Mystical Man]

7 minutes ago, Ninja_pig said:

That's what a dream character pretending to be an "other" consciousness would say haha.

Well, you are talking to yourself, but that doesn't mean that there aren't "other" conscious beings that aren't truly "other". Don't invalidate the consciousness that is here, for we meet as presences. Every being is a divine individual. 

[Yimpa]

https://firesideproject.org/

I also recommend checking this out.
 

Currently they only offer peer support to people in the USA, but they are planning on expanding to other parts of the world. 

[Ninja_pig]

17 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Don’t do psychedelics solo if you have suicidal thoughts and/or mental illness. 

 

I should clarify that this is the first time in my life I have had suicidal thoughts of any kind. I did have a sitter for this trip but because I stayed silent during most of the thing he wasn't able to help very much. I'm probably not going to touch psychedelics again for a while, maybe not ever again. We will see.

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, Ninja_pig said:

 I did have a sitter for this trip but because I stayed silent during most of the thing he wasn't able to help very much.

Yup. At the higher doses, your trip sitter goes bye-bye 

[Ninja_pig]

10 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

https://firesideproject.org/

I also recommend checking this out.
 

Currently they only offer peer support to people in the USA, but they are planning on expanding to other parts of the world. 

Thanks so much for this. I will be using this.

[Godishere]

What God has done is INGENIOUS. To actually believe there is something other than yourself that you can consciously interact with. "Other consciousnesses" which we communicate to each other through language ??? One consciousness but many finite separate selves. All of us simultaneously ALIVE. 

[Osaid]

You feel resistance (depression and loneliness) because your thoughts aren't aligned with what's true. What feels resistance, other than ego?

Put your feelings and emotions first, and just let go. Just like you would immediately let go of your hand when touching a hot stove since it feels painful. Your emotions and feelings have that type of intelligence to them. Right now, your ego is resisting and ignoring that intelligence. It doesn't want to let go because it wants to fulfill the guise of being "right" or "correct", even though it clearly isn't. If it were in a state of truthfulness, there wouldn't be so much resistance.

Notice that you can put yourself in a more peaceful state of mind by imagining "others", and that this state is true for as long as you imagine it. And there's nothing inherently wrong with entering a certain state of consciousness which includes "others". Your ego pulls you away from this state because again, it's playing the game of being "right". If you want, you can contemplate why it feels better to have "others" vs not having "others", and then go from there. The big trap that the ego creates here is that it puts the phenomenon of "others" on a hierarchy, where it says that "others" are "untrue" or "invalid" or "wrong" compared to the rest of existence.

Edited March 4, 2023 by Osaid

[The Mystical Man]

15 hours ago, Godishere said:

What God has done is INGENIOUS. To actually believe there is something other than yourself that you can consciously interact with. "Other consciousnesses" which we communicate to each other through language ??? One consciousness but many finite separate selves. All of us simultaneously ALIVE. 

That's cool, not depressing. Life is kinda like VRChat. There are all these different avatars walking around, and you can meet them, and interact with them, but you're basically interacting with yourself through different incarnations. It's beautiful and miraculous - certainly not something to kill yourself over. It can be disorienting, though. I needed three years to come to terms with this.

Edited February 21, 2023 by The Mystical Man

[puporing]

You also created an infinity of Gods, don't forget that as that's where you come out to play. 

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Ninja_pig said:

What kind of inner work are we talking about here?

Whatever personal baggage, trauma, and human crap you got in your mind. All of that corrupts your capacity to appreciate God.

Quote

How do I appreciate the beauty of it?

Well, look around. Life is astoundingly beautiful.

Quote

You got me on this Truth™ with a capital 'T' hype train Leo, and I was not prepared for it.

Well, you got a taste of it, but you need to a lot more work to really appreciate it and access higher dimensions of Consciousness.

Quote

Is my insight even correct? because if it is not then I am definitely 100% crazy.

It is correct that you are God and God imagines the whole universe.

Maybe contemplate why you are so ungrateful about this.

Edited February 21, 2023 by Leo Gura

[aurum]

3 hours ago, Ninja_pig said:

I'm asking the dream to help me come to terms with the dream. Don't you guys who have awakened feel alone?

No. I feel more at peace and connected to others than ever.

3 hours ago, Ninja_pig said:

Isn't it depressing that reality is a never ending process of duality and I'm completely alone?

It certainly doesn’t have to be.

You are taking an Absolute insight and putting a relative interpretation on it. Not that I’m blaming you. It’s a very common thing to do.

3 hours ago, Ninja_pig said:

I'm literally talking to myself right now but how the hell do I come to terms with this and accept this?

It’ll take some time and more work. Take a break and go do some normal human stuff if that feels good to you. Spiritual work can be extremely taxing. 

[amanen]

God is so alone that it is infinitely together with itself, it has everything it could ever want

[vibv]

Whenever you fully awake, alone is going to be all-one.

Out of the perspective of your human mind it seems as though you are alone. Which is kind of true, but the emotion you feel in respect to that is due to your human vantage point.

[Schizophonia]

I don't think I understand much of this.
Yet I am here to write to you behind my macbook.
Maybe you're taking what psychedelics have shown you too seriously, basically it's just a molecule that attaches to serotonin receptors and can trick you into believing things like solipsism

[vibv]

@Schizophonia  how can you know that? 

What about this: Maybe God tricks itself into believing things like the existence of molecules attaching to serotonine receptors - or serotonine receptors to begin with. That would be ridiculous, wouldn't it?