Are you guys also primarely motivated by women?

[LordFall]

Question for the other straight men on here(perhaps the women into women as well?)

It's a popular sentiment these days to live for more than sex/relationships and to focus on yourself more than women. I agree it's a great short-term strategy but overall if I wasn't motivated by my future relationship with women(either short term like making money/getting fit by summer or in general having my shit together so I can have a long-term relationship and kids) I don't think I would do much nor would life be worth it.

I find some things really fulfilling like going on fun adventures with the boys and learning/understanding useful or interesting things. The process of mastering life itself is quite fun as well. I just don't know if it would be enough to make life it considering how hard it is. Like women disappeared tomorrow or somehow I couldn't never date one/sleep with one again, idk how long I'd stay here.

Like there have been many times that I've been existentially depressed and wondering what the point was and saw on IG stories of cute girls I know or hot girls in real life and it immediately made me feel better.

I'm curious if straight women on here have a similar view of men or if not then what is you core motivation in life like what is the metaphorical juice that makes life worth it for you? 

Curious if most of you feel like me or if honestly you would quite enjoy life without women anyway and they're more like a cherry on top type of thing.

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, LordFall said:

what is the metaphorical juice that makes life worth it for you?

God!

For fuck's sake....

Stop thinkin with your dick.

Edited February 15, 2023 by Leo Gura

[meta_male]

Yes and I wish it wasn't so.

[Ulax]

@LordFall I'd say i'm primarily motivated by seeking connection.

Though in the past its been my primary goal. More when i was at a particular low point of my life.

Also, I think for a lot of young guys it can seem like its women that they want but what they actually want are things like validation and to feel worthy of love in their father's eyes. 

[Girzo]

I am motivated by crazy side-projects and thinking of how to keep the civilzation going without too much collective pain (my ass included).

[Chives99]

Well I'm a people person and I want to help the world become more empathetic, but i have to work on myself first

[NoSelfSelf]

Weak ones are motivated by women and make it all about women..

[Byun Sean]

Consciousness is the highest pursuit.

 

Nothing wrong with pursuing women. If you do it you should for the purpose of growing yourself and becoming a stronger man if thats the avenue of growth you want to take. But don't think it will fulfill you.

 

Pursuit of women for the sole purpose of fulfillment/ happiness is an unconscious seeking of parts of your consciousness you are separate from. Thus, you pursue them through the body which translates to sex to achieve temporary union with those separate parts of your fragmented consciousness.

But sex is only a temporary union with those aspects of your consciousness.

 

 

The fulfilling part of pursuing women comes from becoming strong on the inside as a man and being able to create massive value for those around you.

Being attractive to women should be viewed as a byproduct of becoming a strong man. But not the purpose of it.

 

If you want permanent union you will have to do the inner spiritual work to surrender to Truth/ Consciousness/ God which is ultimately the most fulfilling thing.

In short, your highest priority should be seeking/ merging with Truth on a direct consciousness level whatever that may look like. Seek the truth for its own sake no matter what. Thats the biggest key to a meaningful existence.

Edited February 16, 2023 by Byun Sean

[LordFall]

@NoSelfSelf So what are you motivated by?

 @Ulax Connection in what context, for what purpose, and with who? Like connection with other men that have similar purposes than yourself so you can bond over the pursuit of your goals? Connection with art lovers so you can ponder on the aesthetic beauty of the universe? Connection with a(or many) women so that you can explore the world together? What connection are you seeking? I have found a lot of connections and they feel just okay to me so I'm not sure what this means to you. 

@Leo Gura Okay so what does that mean to you? God in which way? If God is everything so that means that you're constantly blissful and satisfied going about your day? Like you're happy just waking up and taking a shit, doesn't matter what happens afterward it's a good day? I don't honestly understand your answer. I feel like I appreciate life more than the average person but just that appreciation is not worth the amount of energy I have to expand to keep myself alive 

@meta_male Why do you wish it wasn't so? And like if not women then what would make it worth it? Having a beer with the boys? I don't understand. 

@Girzo Can you give me an example of what those side projects would be? And what do you mean by thinking about civilization's progress? Like you just sit down and ponder these things and this gives you deep satisfaction? Do you discuss this with other people? It also gives me deep satisfaction but not as much as my adventures and connection with women; does it overpower it for you?

 @Chives99 What does your answer even mean? What gives you the most satisfaction in life?

@Byun Sean No pseudo-spirituality please, tell me exactly what makes life good for you. If you say consciousness then fine but what does that mean to you? Meditation? Like you feel down and then you remember that you can meditate after work today and that makes your day better? 

[NoSelfSelf]

@LordFall im motivated by me and what im going to do for myself to grow myself...

[effortlesslumen]

Im motivated by my lost potential and what the possibilty of regaining it holds and what could be beyond that. Even if it is just 1% that is regained which was supressed by selfsabotage. And me allowing  myself the possibility of expierencing joy and love.

Edited February 16, 2023 by effortlesslumen

[effortlesslumen]

19 hours ago, LordFall said:

 

Like there have been many times that I've been existentially depressed and wondering what the point was and saw on IG stories of cute girls I know or hot girls in real life and it immediately made me feel better.

 

This Extrinsic motivation will cause these moments to return in waves. Hitting harder each time. Especially if you are easily influenced by outside factors. Like in this example IG.

Edited February 16, 2023 by effortlesslumen

[Chives99]

@LordFall  When your're selfless you dont feel unhappy because your not so concerned about yourself trying to obtain stuff , women should really just be a side thing , you're arent going to attract a woman any way if you're coming from a sense of lack thats just selfish, why would a woman want to be with a selfish man? contributing to the world and making others happy is an expression of love , which is true happiness

[Emerald]

19 hours ago, LordFall said:

Question for the other straight men on here(perhaps the women into women as well?)

It's a popular sentiment these days to live for more than sex/relationships and to focus on yourself more than women. I agree it's a great short-term strategy but overall if I wasn't motivated by my future relationship with women(either short term like making money/getting fit by summer or in general having my shit together so I can have a long-term relationship and kids) I don't think I would do much nor would life be worth it.

I find some things really fulfilling like going on fun adventures with the boys and learning/understanding useful or interesting things. The process of mastering life itself is quite fun as well. I just don't know if it would be enough to make life it considering how hard it is. Like women disappeared tomorrow or somehow I couldn't never date one/sleep with one again, idk how long I'd stay here.

Like there have been many times that I've been existentially depressed and wondering what the point was and saw on IG stories of cute girls I know or hot girls in real life and it immediately made me feel better.

I'm curious if straight women on here have a similar view of men or if not then what is you core motivation in life like what is the metaphorical juice that makes life worth it for you? 

Curious if most of you feel like me or if honestly you would quite enjoy life without women anyway and they're more like a cherry on top type of thing.

When I was younger, I was primarily motivated by a desire to impress the guy I was interested in.

And it added this libidinal charge to all of my endeavors because I would imagine him being intrigued and impressed by me.

He was always like a muse figure. 

And it was very effective at motivating me.

But I realized later that this libidinal charge was coming from a deeper well than just the desire to impress the object of my affections.

It was actually coming from a deep desire for communion and oneness in general. It was always a spiritual drive.

And I suspect that your desire to impress women is likewise coming from a spiritual urge. Can you notice that?

[Consept]

I think the idea of being motivated by women, although it seems real, is not really the case as there is so much lying under the surface. Everyone gets primal urges to want to have sex but this could be at least somewhat quenched by paying a sex worker or even just masturbating. So I think really, getting a woman to like you and want to sleep with you offers validation in that you might not like yourself or might feel inferior but if you could get a woman to sleep especially an attractive one that other men want, it means that you are actually worthwhile. 

If you look at a lot of unhealthy pick up it is mainly based around apeing attractive alpha male traits ie having a fuck boy attitude, not giving the woman attention etc. All of this confirms that you are not good enough internally and you need a persona to attract women but the whole reason youre doing it is to be validated internally. So getting with women seems to be an easy fix for deeper problems, in the same way that a lot of people want to get rich because they sense they lack internally. If you get to the stage where you have genuinely taken care of all your needs you wont be motivated by women in the same way, not to say you will lose interest but they wont offer the same hope that you once put on them. 

[Rafael Thundercat]

Nowadays I am motivated by obseving consciousness, learning about myself and the world, sex included and all the corners of sexuality ligth and dark. It get interesting when you are not obsessed by it, one can have an apreciation of the nuances of it. 

[meta_male]

@LordFall Because I used to let women steer the direction of my life and it went shit. For now what gives me the juice is socializing and finding my LP.

 

15 hours ago, Emerald said:

But I realized later that this libidinal charge was coming from a deeper well than just the desire to impress the object of my affections.

It was actually coming from a deep desire for communion and oneness in general. It was always a spiritual drive.

And I suspect that your desire to impress women is likewise coming from a spiritual urge. Can you notice that?

@Emerald I can relate to this. I don't understand what you mean by spiritual urge though...can you elaborate?

[puporing]

Mmm.. I would say it is an important vehicle by which to express your highest love, and who you are, to "another" which is also part of you. But it of course doesn't need to be in the form of "relationships", it can be a pet, your workplace, strangers, whatever else you're creating, etc. There is just more possibilities within so-called "relationships" in some sense, depending on the consciousness of the other(s) and how you view them. You could turn it into a very "Godly" one if you wished (as though you're in heaven) and the other was at a similar level of consciousness to receive and reflect.

Edited February 17, 2023 by puporing

[Byun Sean]

On 2/16/2023 at 7:36 AM, LordFall said:

@Byun Sean No pseudo-spirituality please, tell me exactly what makes life good for you. If you say consciousness then fine but what does that mean to you? Meditation? Like you feel down and then you remember that you can meditate after work today and that makes your day better? 

Nothing is pseudo about spirituality. It is the most practical thing ever. And the reason why your life sucks if it does "other than obvious reasons like health" is because you lack spirit in your life. 

This is the problem with the overly pragmatic mentalities in the west. They are so materialistic they chase everything material blindly thinking that will fulfill them and then they realize materialism was empty. Materialism is useful up to a certain point, but it caps out after you meet your base needs.

There are many techniques to raise your consciousness. Meditation is one of them but the word meditation doesn't really mean a whole lot because there are so many techniques you can do with your eyes closed you'll need to do your own research if you are serious. For that there are a million books and courses and stuff on enlightenment and spirituality. (Not religion by the way.)

But don't expect to get quick and easy results. It takes hard work and dedication over a long time even though it bears the greatest fruits of fulfillment.

Simply put, you are operating at one level of awareness/ consciousness but are capable of 1000x 10000x 100000x more.

Consciousness is Love is the substance of existence. Atoms are made of Love and you are God.

 

Your life lacks meaning, purpose, and metaphysical depth if you don't realize these things in your direct experience.

 

Spirituality is only really for those who are truly ready for it though. So you may need to get your finances in order, health in order, relationships in order first to be ready for it.

You probably won't even care about spirituality until those base needs are met. Its different for everyone and there is no rush in the end.

Even participating in improving those aspects of your life will grow you as a person/ in spirit as well so its all g in the end. It just depends on how fast you want it and how serious you are about the pursuit of Truth.

 

 

Edited February 17, 2023 by Byun Sean

[Eyowey]

Yes. It's important to admit this because being ashamed of your straightness is not a fun place to be in. I've been dealing with fears of people finding out that I'm on a dating site. That's how strong this shame can be.