Date Ideas

[Emrie]

Hi,

I spend too much time on TikTok and was served a very interesting video where someone shared their favorite dates, so I thought about some cool date ideas.

Then I thought we could have a thread here where we can all share date ideas and why we like them:

First dates:

• Drinks
• Coffee
• Hiking or Walking
• Grocery shopping or running basic errands. I kid you not, if the person you're talking to doesn't want to go on a date, just tell them you're going to run some errands and want to know if they'd like to accompany you. It's genius because they don't feel like it's a date and it's this super chill low-key environment. Then you can lead them and say "hey I'm feeling a little thirsty, wanna go get drinks?"
• Going to an art show. Nothing too fancy so they don't have to dress up too hard and it's just a nice time, and something that's nice and quick, you don't want either of you to be stuck with each other too long.
• If you're both sporty (I know I am), you can organize a sporty activity together, a game of beach volley, a game of football, maybe even going skiing together or something. It won't feel like a direct romantic date but it still gives you opportunity to be direct with them and maybe can lead into something more direct afterwards.

General rule with first dates is that you want it to be low-investment, so something that doesn't feel too heavy, too long, too expensive. And then when things go well, you want to lead into something else. So you can start with drinks, but then go for a walk, and then grab another drink somewhere else, and if things go reaaaally well, can even go back to either your or their place.

Second dates:

At this stage, I think it's okay to up the game a bit.

• An escape room. I actually love escape rooms because it's an amazing moment to see how your date's mind works and you're also bonding together and solving a problem. And you can easily lead into a drinks or even dinner together afterwards.
• Arcade games. Again just a generally super fun time to hang out.
• Ice skating
• Pottery
• Climbing
• Bowling
• Ballroom dancing
• Scavenger hunt

I feel like already on the second date we can have longer, more involved dates.

On third and subsequent dates, you can do something that you would've done on the second date but you just ended up picking a different option (e.g. go to an escape room on the the third date after having gone ice skating on the second). Or even just directly to each other's place and having dinner or baking something together.

What do y'all think about these dates up there? Am I completely stupid and missing the mark or genius? And what are y'all's favorite dates?

[NoSelfSelf]

I mean you need to know deeper why you taking them there, where is it leading to, its not just picking idea and just go with it randomly hoping for the best...its more how you gonna present the experience of you in those situations mybe escape room is best to show who you are mybe its really bad idea etc.

[flowboy]

@Emrie  Some nice ideas!

I like the idea for the thread too.

However, it's going to be most useful if you list the ideas that you have a good personal experience with, so I'd like to know which of those ones you listed have you tried out personally?

 

I will submit a few that I had a good experience with:

• Punching a hole in a frozen lake and doing an ice bath, then having frozen sex in the snow after, that was like the best date ever
• Walking in the park
• Hanging out in the park
• Swimming in the lake next to the park
• Doing a picnic in the park
• Petting zoo!
  which is also located in the park

Hmm, common theme here...

[NoSelfSelf]

@flowboy do i need to go through navy seal program for frozen date idea, to not get hypothermia or how does that work ?

[Rafael Thundercat]

You can contact Aella for a date. Seriously, in the end of the post you can subscribe for casual sex with her. Hehe, the questionary is amazing. 

https://aella.substack.com/p/the-identity-of-tits

 

[flowboy]

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@flowboy do i need to go through navy seal program for frozen date idea, to not get hypothermia or how does that work ?

@NoSelfSelf  just some basic Wim Hof breathing, or generally being Dutch, helped to survive that

Especially in the long hike back through the snow, we really needed the breathing technique to warm back up.

Way to add some memorability and intensity to a date though

Edited February 15, 2023 by flowboy

[NoSelfSelf]

@flowboy Great thanks! If you are not on brink of dying with someone its not memorable ?

[integral]

1 hour ago, Rafael Thundercat said:

You can contact Aella for a date. Seriously, in the end of the post you can subscribe for casual sex with her. Hehe, the questionary is amazing. 

https://aella.substack.com/p/the-identity-of-tits

Do you guys actually follow girls on only fans or believe anything they tell you?

[Kid A]

19 hours ago, Emrie said:

• Drinks
• Coffee

I've had around 30 coffee dates in my life. Not ONE time has it ever led to anything. Drinks on the other hand usually go well at least half the times. I guess some of us really are born with a BAC deficiency of 0.05%...

[Emrie]

4 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

I mean you need to know deeper why you taking them there, where is it leading to, its not just picking idea and just go with it randomly hoping for the best...its more how you gonna present the experience of you in those situations mybe escape room is best to show who you are mybe its really bad idea etc.

Obviously yeah, the activity has to be compatible with both you and your date, I could've made that clearer.

3 hours ago, flowboy said:

However, it's going to be most useful if you list the ideas that you have a good personal experience with, so I'd like to know which of those ones you listed have you tried out personally?

Ok so... full disclosure I've been on mostly vanilla dates (e.g. drinks, restaurant, walking) and not been on any of these more interesting dates (e.g. escape room) that I mentioned up there, I just heard other people tell their stories and relaying it here. My bad, should've made that clear. It was just to get the discussion going and maybe have other people talk about their experiences and some of the dates they've been on.

3 hours ago, flowboy said:

• Punching a hole in a frozen lake and doing an ice bath, then having frozen sex in the snow after, that was like the best date ever
• Walking in the park
• Hanging out in the park
• Swimming in the lake next to the park
• Doing a picnic in the park
• Petting zoo!
  which is also located in the park

These actually sound really cool, I might try that some time! Was this all in one date?

1 hour ago, Kid A said:

20 hours ago, Emrie said:

• Drinks
• Coffee

I've had around 30 coffee dates in my life. Not ONE time has it ever led to anything. Drinks on the other hand usually go well at least half the times. I guess some of us really are born with a BAC deficiency of 0.05%...

Yeah coffee I feel is typically more of a day-time date too and I feel like that's never really conducive to sex. It's typically more of an indirect date where I'm just trying to get to know my date and see if we can get a second date, where I'll be more direct.

Edited February 15, 2023 by Emrie
added a question

[flowboy]

9 minutes ago, Emrie said:

These actually sound really cool, I might try that some time! Was this all in one date?

No all of these were different people

[flowboy]

If you want to get laid but not get drunk, go shopping for food together and then go to your place to prepare dinner together.

You can probably even start this off by just saying "help me shop for food" and then turning it into "now that you've helped me, let's go cook something together"

It helps if the recipe is your idea. It does NOT need to be an impressive recipe, you just need to be in charge of it and instruct her how to help. If you don't lead, you probably won't have sex that day, but it's okay at least you had a helping hand in the kitchen. (don't get neurotic about it, she can have ideas too)

Also you can already touch her and play with the sexual tension in the kitchen, because you're standing so close together.

Forgot to mention that one, but that was my go-to when I was single.

If you did all of those, you just finish eating and then kiss her.

I've literally never had that kiss rejected after going through the above sequence of events.

I don't think it matters what it is, except that you must like doing it.

I don't think that picking a date is more complicated than just doing something you would have done without her anyway.

And coffee dates suck, caffeine puts people in a logical state, don't do it. The girl will be in her head, thinking of reasons to not go too far, you will be in your head, missing all opportunities to escalate, it's the WORST.

Also, sitting down together and talking is not a good date, there needs to be doing something together in which you lead and she follows / learns from you. Don't worry about what it is, girls know how to play their part, if they like you then they will just play along and follow your lead, even if it's not actually new to them or they would have done it differently.

This is why picnic dates lead to sex if she helped with the shopping (dynamic, doing something together, you lead and she helps), but less often if you prepared it for her (investment balance is way off, less opportunities to lead).

Don't forget we're primal beings, and she wants to have sex with someone who can lead an adventure.

Edited February 15, 2023 by flowboy

[flowboy]

21 hours ago, Emrie said:

• An escape room. I actually love escape rooms because it's an amazing moment to see how your date's mind works and you're also bonding together and solving a problem. And you can easily lead into a drinks or even dinner together afterwards.
• Arcade games. Again just a generally super fun time to hang out.
• Ice skating
• Pottery
• Climbing
• Bowling
• Ballroom dancing
• Scavenger hunt

I wouldn't do dates that take a lot of time investment for you to organize before you've had sex. So yeah, if you had sex on the first date, you can get fancy if you want. Although I wouldn't.

Most of these are more 4th -and-beyond type dates, and a scavenger hunt that you have to organize is just a really bad idea unless you've been dating for months or something else special is going on.

I'd recommend at least 3 low investment dates and having sex before you get fancy.

Don't forget that if you invest a lot of effort (or money) into a date before having slept together, it makes the girl uncomfortable, because you might expect something in return for all that effort, and she hasn't figured out whether she wants to sleep with you yet, and she wants to figure that out in a low-pressure setting.

What you can and should do, is already talk about these plans during the simple dates (create a future storyline together)

 

The ice-bath-hike thing WAS a first date, it was high-investment, especially because I had to book a flight to her country, but we're engaged now, all of which goes to show that you CAN break the investment rules but you better be sure that she's very emotionally invested on her end. (actually it doesn't matter whether you've had sex, it matters whether she's emotionally invested enough to already have decided that she would have sex with you, and the fact that you've had sex is just an easy heuristic)

Edited February 15, 2023 by flowboy

[Rafael Thundercat]

2 hours ago, integral said:

Do you guys actually follow girls on only fans or believe anything they tell you?

I dont follow or pay her anything. Just check her writings for the sake of listening diferent point of view. Even with a girl or woman who use onlyfans to make money one can learn something. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Emrie It doesnt have to be compatible like it fits like a glove, it has to be compatible with you, so you can show her you and see if she digs it ,thats the whole point of a date...

[Leo Gura]

Ice cream

[Emrie]

@flowboy Actually there are pre-planned scavenger hunts in my city that are more for like tourists to like explore the city in a fun interesting way, that's what I was thinking.

I know and I totally agree that you should match your partner's investment in you. For me, doing some climbing or pottery for like an hour or 90 minutes doesn't really feel like a huge investment, more just like a fun afternoon activity, and then can lead into something else afterwards naturally. It's definitely more than just grocery shopping leading into a dinner or picnic, but it's not like a big heavy thing where you go to an expensive fancy dinner. The escape room, I'd agree that it's maybe a bit much in terms of money investment.

Of course your date has to agree and it has to feel right with both you and your date that you're not putting too much pressure on each other and I would never do all that stuff on the first date but rather stuff I would talk about on the first date, like casually asking "so do you like climbing?" and then setting something up to go climbing together.

Also idk if it's like us queers having a tendency to get more invested in our dates than straight people but I've heard so many stories of queer people having such investment in each other so early it's crazy. Like first dates lasting two whole days, queer couples moving in with each other after only a few weeks of dating. Just crazy stuff.

[mmKay]

a guy I knew for some time would take her grocery shopping for water jugs, carry the them into his apartment with her, he would play guitar and then finger her ( in that order, pretty bulletproof blueprint)