Inner child? Switching into ego stage of a child?

[effortlesslumen]

Im unconsciously trapped at ego development stage of a child pretending to be grown up. Everything  stems from childhood believes. Is there some way to work through this despite awareness to let go and react, feel, perceive from a higher consciousness stage? Neurotic child hood vows, inner child, trauma does not seem to fit into my problem. I feel like a child in an adult body. Im no man child who lies excessiely about myself, but my social activities and descion making is compromised by this part of my ego. What can i do ? I notice when this is happening but my behaviour does not change. It is like a loop of ego backlashes. 

Should i start with trauma release? Reichian therapy ?  What would be the first best step to resolve this?  

Edited February 14, 2023 by effortlesslumen

[effortlesslumen]

Here are some examples: Tending to project a father figure on people  and the unconscious need to get attention from said person, resulting in being upset when the expectation is not fullfilled.

Getting the feeling im a little child again, when a situation arises that puts my selfesteem to the test and a feeling im not allowed to speak my truth.

Thoughts of blaming  that annoyingly arise when something is  not as perfect as some unrealistic expectation from the subconscious. 

An unsecurity of a child that gnaws on me.

 

 

[effortlesslumen]

21 hours ago, Judy2 said:

 

- what exactly are your "unrealistic expectations" all about? in what ways are they designed to protect you? what is the underlying fear they are connected to? (e.g. abandonment, rejection, ...)

@Judy2 Thats a powerful question , thanks!  I have to contemplate on that one. Going to try this exercise aswell. I think im on the path to resolving this. Thanks for helping me to find the right direction for the next few steps.

Edited February 16, 2023 by effortlesslumen

[Rafael Thundercat]

Take a look on this, O mean, dont buy the book, make a short research to see if fit your process. In summa the book deals with the topic that we during life unconsciously do some sort of contracts, for example, one is abused and decide subtly that never again will open his or her heart and so on. So we tend to do this contracts. I got myself always checking sometimes that a small experience in the past create a block in my flow that I would never imagine. So when you revisit that block and see that you created a contract you can recontext it and follow free from that. 

 

[effortlesslumen]

Thanks  i will look into it. Kinda like neurotic childhood vows?

I found it on open library but it is currently borrowed. (Still prefer the physical books)

https://openlibrary.org/works/OL15844958W/Sacred_contracts?edition=key%3A/books/OL24754306M

Edited February 16, 2023 by effortlesslumen

[Jodistrict]

Interesting.  This man also talks about the childhood vows.

 

 

[Rafael Thundercat]

@Jodistrict wow, this is top

[flowboy]

On 15/02/2023 at 7:14 PM, effortlesslumen said:

Here are some examples: Tending to project a father figure on people  and the unconscious need to get attention from said person, resulting in being upset when the expectation is not fullfilled.

Getting the feeling im a little child again, when a situation arises that puts my selfesteem to the test and a feeling im not allowed to speak my truth.

Thoughts of blaming  that annoyingly arise when something is  not as perfect as some unrealistic expectation from the subconscious. 

An unsecurity of a child that gnaws on me.

 

 

This is childhood trauma without a doubt.

Yes, you should start healing it!

Read Reclaiming Your Life by Jean Jenson

Go to this retreat

i'll post videos youtube on how to do childhood related self-healing in the future.