I Don't Want To Exist

[0ne]

We have to eat, sleep, we forget, we're petty and superficial, everything we do and think is meaningless. When things are going "well", we fool ourselves into thinking life is "good", when in reality, any moment could turn into suffering.

Why does the universe exist?

We don't think about it, because we're so immersed in it, so distracted by it, and because there is no answer.

Logic follows - if one doesn't see the point, then for them, there is no point. I could kill myself, but how can I know "I" will not be reborn? How can I know anything at all? So I can't do anything about it, what am I supposed to do then? Why the actual fuck do I exist and what am I supposed to do?

[Bodhi123]

@0ne I'm not here to tell to you that life has some Universal meaning, it does not. Life is essentially meaningless. BUT I am here to tell you... that how you are reacting to the meaninglessness of life is what is causing your suffering.

Your profile pic is simply black. Total and absolute darkness. This is indicative of your view of life... darkness.

If you wish to change your life then the first thing you have to do is change how you view life.

It is your choice.

[Vercingetorix]

I don't know why I'm here but I notice that when I'm happy I don't care. So my goal is to become happy.
I tried for years to discover the "truth of lif"e but came to the conclusion that you can't understand it conceptually.
Now I'm going through the spiritual path that supposedly can bring you to the experience of understanding life and beeing happy at the same time 
maybe this video can give you a different perspective: 

 

[Principium Nexus]

@Bodhi123 I agree with what you say, however black doesn't mean darkness/negativity, thats your negatibe perspective aswell. Black could be a clean slate, the void, oppurtinity for light.

[Bodhi123]

@Principium Nexus True  

Life is all about perspective. We can choose to have a positive perspective or a negative perspective. We might as well choose a positive perspective, it feels better.

[AxelK]

Are you certain that you already exist?

[Bodhi123]

@AxelK There is a time and a place to refer to non-duality, Absolute Reality, No-Self, etc.

But when a person is feeling depressed then the goal should be to help that person feel some positive emotions. 

[Echoes]

@0ne I have asked myself this question too. Why not just end this misery and start a new game? Or just dont exist at all? See, you are going to die anyway. Why kill the possibility that it gets better? You are "supposed" to do nothing at all. Your mind wants to cling on meaning and projections, and then you see that they are not real and conclude that this is a bad thing; it doesnt have to be. meaningless and meaningful is a duality. you can't just say "reality is meaningless", for meaningless implies meaning. this duality has to be transcended. Reality is neither meaningful nor meaningless, it just IS. 

In vedanta, they describe our true self (Brahman) as Sat-Chit-Ananda.

Sat=being Chit=consciousness Ananda=bliss; joy 

So for god (you!) this question doesn't arise. why not exist? because why not enjoy infinte bliss and go on an adventure or dream a game of "suffering" from time to time? All will be good in the end anyway. 

[Principium Nexus]

We derive meaning by relations to help each other fullfil our dreams and desires, even when true reality is meaning less, it's still fun to go for that parachute jump or anything else that makes you feel alive.

[0ne]

I just want to clear this up: I am not being pessimistic, but rather, I'm existentially exhausted and feeling rebellious in the sense that I don't want to be a part of any of it, not even spirituality. I guess what I really wish for is to REST. Not sleep-rest, more like die-rest. I want eternal peace.

[Bob84]

26 minutes ago, 0ne said:

I just want to clear this up: I am not being pessimistic, but rather, I'm existentially exhausted and feeling rebellious in the sense that I don't want to be a part of any of it, not even spirituality. I guess what I really wish for is to REST. Not sleep-rest, more like die-rest. I want eternal peace.

All those questions are meaningless. Whats the meaning of life? I dont give a fuck. Where can i eat the best steak? Tell me now!

Spirituality is just more fantisy. We stop believing in fairys when we grow up. But make up other shit and think its real. Normal huma  behavior. Yes we are all fucked up .

Confess that to yourself. You think your special, unique, your opinion should mather to others and is superior. Everyone does. My ego included. Again normal behavior.

We egos are so predictable. Recognize this. You are not this ego. You are its observer. The more you see this. The easyer it will be to detach from it.

Msg from my ego to yours: fuck you dude for convincing you master that he is suffering.

[0ne]

I'm probably just creating these threads for attention. I'll just become a monk...

[Bodhi123]

@0ne You ultimately have to make two decisions: 1) Do I choose to live or to die? 2) Do I choose to be happy or miserable?

I realize that you say you are not pessimistic just "existentially exhausted"... well as @blazed pointed out there is no escape. Even death won't give you the eternal peace that you desire.

If you truly want peace then peace will be found in this life in the present moment. I don't know if this is what you want to hear... but it is the truth.

Find comfort in the truth.

[Haleymac]

I have been feeling much the same way. I am going to do some expression after I try this on, this idea "I Don't Want to Exist"

 I find some relief in asking, who am "i", this one who Exists? It is exhausting. always wondering, confused, relentlessly searching. The ego searches and never finds. Suffering here, for me, is from resistance. If i acknowledge me as I am now, with no clear answer as to why we are here, what we are doing, or why the universe is, then i might be bored or afraid or out of control as to what happens. I might feel threatened by the unlimited possibiliy of what can be. There are no handles to hang onto. I dont have an answer i can put into a box that I can see or hold. Who are the Ones doing, acting, causing all the happening? If i intend to act from a space of surrender and emptiness for the highest good, the energy of Intent flows unimpeded by any smallnes(my ego) and there is no need to put a reason around it. The energy of the universe simply is, and the need to logically justify its existence is obsolete. Here a fear of existing comes again: how fast the universe would transform and change my life, my definition of existence might be shattered. The implications of the infinite ambiguity of existing are too much for the ego to hold. Then I might become aware of the pain my unconcious smallness has been causing me. I become aware of My ego and how limiting my idea of en exisiting self is.  Its like ego is a vessel that is a billion times too small to contain the idea of existence. So maybe the idea, "I Don't Want to Exist" is actually an intuition for you from the universe. What might happen if you try living with the idea? What might happen if I just let go of how I think it should be, or not be?  It comes back to just being present and observing, watching what happens and responding with intent.

Thats all i got, and it may well be gobbledygook.

[Extreme Z7]

@0ne  If you find yourself lost on figuring out what life is truly about, then why on earth do you posit assumptions about life that are inherently negative and don't help in solving the deep questions that you have no answers to? You wouldn't say your cup is empty when it's actually filled with some toxic smelly sludge, would you?

Watch out for your excuse-making and start doing some actual seeking. There is much to discover.

[h inandout]

Imagine Santa coming down four-year-old-you's chimney with a sack full of emptiness.  WTF!? Like, maybe you grew up in a different culture from me, but presents were a pretty decent way to fill the sack.  Especially after all the hype, I would have felt disappointed, not blissfully empty, to have received nothing.  The blissful jewels of emptiness revel themselves through much cultivation and devotion, I believe.  In the meantime, stop meditation on disappointment, and actually fill your cup with something that approximates joy to remind you what it is you're aiming for.

Maybe read Jerry Downs's book "Why you were born"

[abgespaced]

On 3/8/2017 at 2:34 AM, 0ne said:

We have to eat, sleep, we forget, we're petty and superficial, everything we do and think is meaningless. When things are going "well", we fool ourselves into thinking life is "good", when in reality, any moment could turn into suffering.

Now turn this into a personal statement and see how you feel. Here, I'll help:

You have to eat, sleep, you forget, you're petty and superficial, everything you do and think is meaningless. When things are going "well", you fool yourself into thinking life is "good", when in reality, any moment could turn into suffering.

Now you see, not everyone feels this way. Some people don't forget. Some people aren't petty, or superficial. Some people do and think things that are very meaningful. Some people aren't fooling themselves.

Now what's stopping you from being like them?

Edited March 12, 2017 by abgespaced

[Bob84]

On 3/7/2017 at 9:02 PM, 0ne said:

I'm probably just creating these threads for attention. I'll just become a monk...

Yes you are. And so is everyone else . We all have egos .

[Nahm]

@0ne You can want to exist. 

Quantum Erasure has proven you could have "died" a million times already and not even know it.

Pick good. Start small. 

 

[0ne]

On 3/12/2017 at 6:37 AM, abgespaced said:

Now turn this into a personal statement and see how you feel. Here, I'll help:

You have to eat, sleep, you forget, you're petty and superficial, everything you do and think is meaningless. When things are going "well", you fool yourself into thinking life is "good", when in reality, any moment could turn into suffering.

Now you see, not everyone feels this way. Some people don't forget. Some people aren't petty, or superficial. Some people do and think things that are very meaningful. Some people aren't fooling themselves.

Now what's stopping you from being like them?

It's not about feelings. They don't matter and nothing else does either. I know what I say applies to me. But I see the same shit in everyone, and I suspect we're stuck on an eternal cycle of existence from which there's no way out.

Edited March 18, 2017 by 0ne
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