I don't think tech is my life purpose even though it's my job

[uriel]

I work in tech. It pays well. I'm good at what I do. I've got advanced degrees in computer science. 

But I don't feel that much passion for it. Do I like it? Sure. Do I love it? As much as other things? Probably not.

My passion lies more in music, literature and overcoming mental illness.

So my inclination is to pursue these things. To devote lots of time to these fields.

But I have some sort of nagging guilt that it would be somehow frivolous.

Like it's irresponsible not to use my attention to try to push technological progress forward for humanity. Irresponsible not to contribute to AI in some way or other.

I believe I'd possibly be capable of something like that. I could put in the work. 

But it sounds kind of.. tedious and boring to me.

How should one decide where they devote their energy?

What should be the guide?

Passion? Feelings of responsibility? 

Am I somehow selfish if I just do what feels good and what I enjoy my entire life?

I'd love to write, I'd love to just make music. My soul sings for these things. But is it selfish? Is it frivolous? Is it childish? To pursue these things?

Any helpful insight for me?

 

 

 

Edited February 12, 2023 by uriel

[thepixelmonk]

Why do you consider art frivolous?

[supremeyingyang]

11 hours ago, uriel said:

I work in tech. It pays well. I'm good at what I do. I've got advanced degrees in computer science. 

But I don't feel that much passion for it. Do I like it? Sure. Do I love it? As much as other things? Probably not.

My passion lies more in music, literature and overcoming mental illness.

So my inclination is to pursue these things. To devote lots of time to these fields.

But I have some sort of nagging guilt that it would be somehow frivolous.

Like it's irresponsible not to use my attention to try to push technological progress forward for humanity. Irresponsible not to contribute to AI in some way or other.

I believe I'd possibly be capable of something like that. I could put in the work. 

But it sounds kind of.. tedious and boring to me.

How should one decide where they devote their energy?

What should be the guide?

Passion? Feelings of responsibility? 

Am I somehow selfish if I just do what feels good and what I enjoy my entire life?

I'd love to write, I'd love to just make music. My soul sings for these things. But is it selfish? Is it frivolous? Is it childish? To pursue these things?

Any helpful insight for me?

 

 

 

Save money and focus on mental health like with psychotherapy. Then you can go on.

[something_else]

12 hours ago, uriel said:

Am I somehow selfish if I just do what feels good and what I enjoy my entire life?

I would argue no. You are far more likely to contribute deep value to humanity by doing something you are deeply passionate about, even if that thing is something that doesn't directly advance humanity.

I'm also in a similar position to you, right now I'm working in tech making a good paycheck, but don't feel I want to do it forever.

A well-paying, reliable job in tech with a really decent and chill team of people is a good position to be in while you work out what the fuck you wanna do with your life. Chill out, explore your options. Try lots of new stuff and see if you can find something that clicks.

[Michal__]

Can you do fewer work hours so you get some space for trying to make your passions your source of income?

[ValiantSalvatore]

@uriel Other question what are you doing in tech regarding A.I? Are you into machine learning or deep learning? What are your responsibilities? My life purpose is to head into A.I, some of this stuff is so heavily mathematically favoured, that someone said you might as well could do a Ph.D to be one of the best so to speak, I also read that this is sort of a toxic academia mindset, to be the best. I am doing a masters in applied cs.

17 hours ago, uriel said:

I'd love to write, I'd love to just make music. My soul sings for these things. But is it selfish? Is it frivolous? Is it childish? To pursue these things?

Any helpful insight for me?

I dunno I feel similar to music, yet I was never supported in the endeavour, when I went to music school as a kid, as my parents just fundamentally left me alone. I can't play a single instrument anymore. It was also only a 4 year+ programm.

What do you feel can you create space to make a living out of music and still call it a passion?

Edited February 13, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[UnbornTao]

Either master whatever you're doing, or change jobs. If you're not gonna change it, then stop complaining and throw yourself into it. Consider what might I be overlooking? Where am I stuck in this domain? What lies beyond my comfort zone?

Imagine what it'd be like for you to pursue what you say you want to do. With time you'd probably be equally "bored" and the choice to either master it or change it would have to be made once again. I think it's a matter of breaking your "box", so to speak. In other words, assuming that you master your field. Adopt a beginner's mind and set aside your presumptions.

So basically open up and master it.

[tezk]

I am in a similar boat. My strengths lie in coding & tech, and I even get into deep flow states while coding. Currently half way through a computer science degree (and I absolutely intend on finishing it). But it does not feel like my "life purpose", nor what I am deeply fascinated or passionate about. My general plan is to use it to get a software development job (probably in web development), and use that to sustain me while I figure out my life purpose. Tech is great to get into because of all the opportunities including financial, remote work, industries, etc. To me it's far better than working in a warehouse (what I'm currently doing lol).

Maybe try getting into freelance/contracting, or into a company with a 4day work week, or just finding a company thats a bit more chill to work for. Then use all your time on the side to work towards your life purpose. That's kinda my general plan.

[Michael569]

You might benefit from small, risk-free experiments where you give yourself the opportunity to have more exposure to all those things. 

Spend some time making music or speak to someone who already does what you are passionate about. Invite them for a coffee and ask them to share their story. How did they start? What were their challenges? 

If you have a bit of experience in the therapy already, offer someone a free support. That's how I started in the health therapy when I was still in school. I reached out toa  few people and offered a free help and this way I got the opportunity to test the waters and see if I liked it.