How to make peace with failing at life purpose?

[woohoo123]

I was thinking of making music for my life purpose. I keep having this nagging thought what if I put in all this work and in 10/20 years my YT channel or platform will not have reached anyone. When this thought comes up I feel demotivated, its like spending 20 years writing the best book in the world, but then shelving it and no-one ever reads it other than yourself. You never really get chance to share the beauty with anyone.

You could say that the enjoyment is in the doing, which I guess is partly true, but at the same time I could've spent that time indulging in other sensual pleasures (I don't play any instruments btw so it will be a long road for me).

Of course there is every chance I will be successful (by successful I just mean it reaches a large number of people to the point I feel satisfied I have had an impact, maybe tens of thousands) and I could do more vision boards, affirmations etc. but I feel like this is avoiding the issue at hand. I want to face it head on.

Does anyone have any perspective on this? How can I not feel demotivated even if my projects fail to make the impact I had intended but still do it anyway? (and without trying to cling onto success of these projects as my source of fulfilment?)

I think a deeper issue is I am motivated by appreciation and feedback from others. Although this is mentioned as an unhealthy motivation/value, I can't deny its still there, in almost everything I do. I want my art to be appreciated by others.

Thanks for reading =)

 

[Rigel]

I am guessing you don't know how hard music is since you don't play an instrument. How do you even know that that's what you wanna do if you don't play? And how old are you? 

If you write the best book in the world(assuming such a thing even exists. Soilers: it doesn't) chances are people will read it and love it. But can you fathom how much work it is to create that? Nothing short of obessesion is gonna get you there. 

Do you love music or not?

You seem to already intuit that people's approval is not sufficient motivation which is great now ask yourself what would be a sufficient motivation? 

 

Edited February 12, 2023 by Rigel

[Ulax]

@woohoo123 I'd say at least part of it would involve doing inner work.

That way you can come to a place where you love yourself for who you are, and your sense of self-worth isn't as tied up in your life purpose.

[Eternal Unity]

keep on living. Keep on practicing. Your time WILL come if you don't give up. and even if you do, God doesn't leave anyone behind

[woohoo123]

1 hour ago, Rigel said:

I am guessing you don't know how hard music is since you don't play an instrument. How do you even know that that's what you wanna do if you don't play? And how old are you? 

If you write the best book in the world(assuming such a thing even exists. Soilers: it doesn't) chances are people will read it and love it. But can you fathom how much work it is to create that? Nothing short of obessesion is gonna get you there. 

Do you love music or not?

You seem to already intuit that people's approval is not sufficient motivation which is great now ask yourself what would be a sufficient motivation? 

 

I am 29 now. I love listening to music, it has done some wonderful things for me. If I were to think of serving others, this is how I would choose to express beauty. I don't know for sure if this is what I want to do, but I need to explore it and its what has my interest over all other things atm. I feel like this is the right path for me now even if it doesn't lead to anything. Being hard doesn't put me off, I am not saying its easy of course but I don't think it is beyond me by any means.

1 hour ago, Ulax said:

@woohoo123 I'd say at least part of it would involve doing inner work.

That way you can come to a place where you love yourself for who you are, and your sense of self-worth isn't as tied up in your life purpose.

This is a great response. I guess fundamentally it is a self-worth/love problem. I think I am trying to use my life purpose (at least partially) to get love from others. I want to get a feeling of self-worth from the sense of accomplishing something. 

Part of me has always taken pride in my interest in philosophy/spirituality and I like it when other people can recognise and admire me for my insights in this area. This issue seems like another manifestation of that where I am trying to use my life purpose to try and fill that hole.

Some of my motivations for even wanting to have a life purpose in the first place are questionable.

Edited February 12, 2023 by woohoo123

[Rigel]

@woohoo123 Great then start shedding! You'll see if it's the right path for you by doing not thinking. 

[Realms of Wonder]

22 hours ago, woohoo123 said:

I was thinking of making music for my life purpose. I keep having this nagging thought what if I put in all this work and in 10/20 years my YT channel or platform will not have reached anyone. When this thought comes up I feel demotivated, its like spending 20 years writing the best book in the world, but then shelving it and no-one ever reads it other than yourself. You never really get chance to share the beauty with anyone.

You could say that the enjoyment is in the doing, which I guess is partly true, but at the same time I could've spent that time indulging in other sensual pleasures (I don't play any instruments btw so it will be a long road for me).

Of course there is every chance I will be successful (by successful I just mean it reaches a large number of people to the point I feel satisfied I have had an impact, maybe tens of thousands) and I could do more vision boards, affirmations etc. but I feel like this is avoiding the issue at hand. I want to face it head on.

Does anyone have any perspective on this? How can I not feel demotivated even if my projects fail to make the impact I had intended but still do it anyway? (and without trying to cling onto success of these projects as my source of fulfilment?)

I think a deeper issue is I am motivated by appreciation and feedback from others. Although this is mentioned as an unhealthy motivation/value, I can't deny its still there, in almost everything I do. I want my art to be appreciated by others.

Thanks for reading =)

 

How can you know that your life purpose is music related if you’ve never played? I’m confused by that.

 

You’re right, in any field one could dedicate their whole life to it and never get recognition from others. But don’t let that stop you from living an authentic life. (I’m not saying it will happen, and a lot of it is YOU dependent, but it’s still important to recognize.)
 

From my perspective It really needs to be something you LOVE to do, so that you would do it even if no one ever accessed it. AND, it’s important that it’s something others need/want and are willing to pay for.

If the main motivation is validation and recognition. I don’t see a way for anyone to last through the initial 3-5 years to build a skill set. And even at that point if people start validating and recognizing the work, it can’t be authentic work if it’s done for approval and recognition.

 

Also, it’s important to recognize that big picture, a life purpose is more than the medium (music in this case,) it’s an overarching mission and vision of the most meaningful impact possible in your life.

[woohoo123]

2 hours ago, Realms of Wonder said:

How can you know that your life purpose is music related if you’ve never played? I’m confused by that.

 

You’re right, in any field one could dedicate their whole life to it and never get recognition from others. But don’t let that stop you from living an authentic life. (I’m not saying it will happen, and a lot of it is YOU dependent, but it’s still important to recognize.)
 

From my perspective It really needs to be something you LOVE to do, so that you would do it even if no one ever accessed it. AND, it’s important that it’s something others need/want and are willing to pay for.

If the main motivation is validation and recognition. I don’t see a way for anyone to last through the initial 3-5 years to build a skill set. And even at that point if people start validating and recognizing the work, it can’t be authentic work if it’s done for approval and recognition.

 

Also, it’s important to recognize that big picture, a life purpose is more than the medium (music in this case,) it’s an overarching mission and vision of the most meaningful impact possible in your life.

I guess you may be wondering how I even came to that. It might not be a perfect answer, but I guess I love listening to certain types of music (it has put me more deeply in touch with my emotions than a lot of things) and I guess I wanted to give that to others (even though I can't play). I think its beautiful and if I could wave my finger in the air and dream up something beautiful to give humanity, I guess it would just be a beautiful piece of music. I like it because you don't need words, language, or knowledge of spirituality or any of that, you just simply feel it. Of course there are other forms of art, and you may be right in 3-5 years I may be eating my words (its always attractive at the start), but I won't know unless I try, I could really say the same about starting anything new.

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From my perspective It really needs to be something you LOVE to do, so that you would do it even if no one ever accessed it

That's a good point. I don't need this for money (I have a career) although I guess you could say it needs to have some form of financial sustenance to properly be considered a 'life purpose'. I think for now I am fine having it as a hobby I can nurture. For me (at the start) I find it easier to think small so the goals seem more achievable and realistic. I feel like I'm kidding myself when I think of big goals in something I have no skills in.  

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Also, it’s important to recognize that big picture, a life purpose is more than the medium (music in this case,) it’s an overarching mission and vision of the most meaningful impact possible in your life.

You're right, music is just a medium for me to express beauty. I see it as a form of spirituality that doesn't involve lecturing others for hours on end but it subconsciously leads them places.

[r0ckyreed]

Our true purpose never dies, it just changes as we learn more about the world and ourselves. Keep following your curiosity and inspiration.

[flowboy]

On 12/02/2023 at 11:13 PM, woohoo123 said:

I love listening to music, it has done some wonderful things for me. If I were to think of serving others, this is how I would choose to express beauty. I

• Approval from others is a neurotic motivation, FEEDBACK (seeing how what you do affects people positively) is NOT. I’m hugely motivated by interacting with the people who benefit from my work, and if I wasn’t interacting with them, my work wouldn’t be as good, it would just be a solitary mental masturbation.
• You’re 29 and you think music is your life purpose, even though you don’t play any instruments. That makes me think you’re overlooking something more obvious, which you already do for friends without knowing, because you don’t value it, since we never value our zone of genius properly. But if you think it’s music, then START. You can theorise all you want, all of that is wasted energy if you find out you hate playing instruments, or you don’t have a good ear. Make the next YEAR about music, sign up for classes in 3 different instruments and commit to recording something 4 times a week and playing for people (even if it’s in the street) every week. And get a band of other beginners together with whom you meet and play songs every week. That’s how you find out whether something is for you, AND you get direct feedback, which will be motivating. So you don’t have to wait for 10 years to build a channel, or whatever theories you have in your head. Reality is much different than theories. Go do it!

Edited February 17, 2023 by flowboy

[MarkKol]

Optimism is a quality of the wise

(and specially the successful :>)

[Thought Art]

Literally just start creating and putting at least an hour a day into it. Everyday. Get a coach if you have to. Honour you life. Stop wasting time in complaining and cat!

[Grzegorz]

@woohoo123 Could you tell us more about the specifics of the music that you wanna create and the instrument that you consider to learn? What do you wanna become? A Dj or a singer songwriter, a classical pianist? 

 

[Blackbeat]

Be ok with being a relative failure?, you still better than a large portion of humanity for being aware enough... simply posting this post though as you posted.

[Blackbeat]

On 17/02/2023 at 11:05 PM, MarkKol said:

Optimism is a quality of the wise

(and specially the successful :>)

CAUTIOUS optimism my friend.

[Jannes]

@woohoo123 You should follow your bliss right. So you should be somewhat motivated to do it even if you don't make it to the top. Maybe music making isn't for you. Everybody's life purpose is making music I don't get it. 

Have you thought about building a band? Everybody in the band will constantly share feedback so you will get motivated to get better there. 

[The Mystical Man]

On 2/12/2023 at 7:20 PM, woohoo123 said:

its like spending 20 years writing the best book in the world, but then shelving it and no-one ever reads it other than yourself.

Melville wrote that book. However, the failure of Moby-Dick didn't stop him from writing more books. Writing wasn't his life purpose, though. For writing isn't a life purpose. Neither is music. Your life purpose is to respond to what the universe puts in front of you. It might be a book, or a piece of music, but most of the time that's not what it is that the universe is asking you to pay attention to. I recommend Singer's Surrender Experiment.

Edited February 21, 2023 by The Mystical Man