Reality vs Pleasure principles

[RedLine]

My life alternates between this two opposing principles.. On one hand, there are my goals, whose steps I have to complete to achieve them I dislike. On the other hand, there is the immediate appetite, which is to do nothing and be lost in my mind, consume dump content on the internet, sleep, etc.

For many years, I have gone through phases where I work hard to reach my goals, but eventually the desire for pleasure wins and I stop. Later, I feel guilty for not pursuing my goals and start working hard again. This phases can happens all in a single days or in different periods of time.

There is always this constant struggle between what my mind wants (principle of reality) and what my body wants (principle of pleasure), which is extremely draining.

Is there a way to escape this cycle or make it more manageable? Or am I doomed to struggle with it forever?

Edited February 12, 2023 by RedLine

[mmKay]

Classic struggle of higher self vs lower self. 

Your lower self is an energy efficient lazy monkey who wants nothing but comfort, pleasure, entertainment, food, sex... The purpose is survival and minimal energy expenditure. 

You can also think of it as your primal self, your reptilian brain . Your inner chimp, your small / contracted self, etc. 

Your higher self is your aspirations, ideals, your vision, your goals , the impact you desire to have... It's more related with willpower and the prefrontal cortex. This is not your default mode of operating. It takes consistent conscious effort. 

If we look at it from this perspective, selves are part of yourself, and if you want to ease that inner dispute you must learn how both work and how to nurture them. 

Imagine your lower self is an elephant and your higher self is the rider. If the rider wants the elephant to listen to him, he must train him and take care of him. The whip will only help that much,and if the elephant is not honored and his needs are not met you can be sure that he will not be listening. The man being 100 times smaller must outsmart the potent beast.

That's just one example. 

That being said, maybe you are going in the wrong direction and your procrastination is telling you that, but you don't listen and try to push through, failing every time and therefore the cycle continues. 

Understand your values, strengths and what you find meaningful and then structure your life around it. Then, after you've successfully build habits over time and reprogrammed your subconscious mind, your actions will be more effortless, life will be more enjoyable, but still you will have to care for your inner chimp daily. 

 

PD : You relying on guilt to take action also perpetrates this yo-yo effect. Once the guilt is gone, you stop.  Learn about how emotions work and build a work ethic over time. 

[RedLine]

6 minutes ago, mmKay said:

 

That being said, maybe you are going in the wrong direction and your procrastination is telling you that, but you don't listen and try to push through, failing every time and therefore the cycle continues. 

 

Yes, my procrastination tells me that I don´t really care about my goals, I don´t care about anything, relative things exhaust me so much. I just want absolute freedom, I want nothingness, no more hindrances. But for the other part I feel that is not correct to abandomn the world and I have to upgrade my characater...

[mmKay]

Find more authentic goals. Being a little lost is a normal part of the process. 

You and every other human being care about some things more than others. Specify their importance to yourself. Being unclear here is your worst enemy.

This is a work in progress. You will most likely not nail it at the first try. Action, trial/error and then back to the drawing board. 

And I get the feeling that you specifically are at a point where you are extra confused. Don't take seriously some half baked silly ideas you may get. You may be very wrong. 

[RedLine]

4 minutes ago, mmKay said:

Find more authentic goals. Being a little lost is a normal part of the process. 

You and every other human being care about some things more than others. Specify their importance to yourself. Being unclear here is your worst enemy.

This is a work in progress. You will most likely not nail it at the first try. Action, trial/error and then back to the drawing board. 

And I get the feeling that you specifically are at a point where you are extra confused. Don't take seriously some half baked silly ideas you may get. You may be very wrong. 

I have been evaluating my goals every day for the last 15 years so I don´t see there is much to find there. I am not confused at all. My path is clear, but my feelings don´t align.

Edited February 12, 2023 by RedLine