How to deal with the truth?

[Vlad_]

For the last few months, I've been verifying absolute solipsism over and over. When I'm in the god mod I seem to be okay with it, but once I'm back in my ego mod I become very depressed because life loses all its meaning. It's not fun at all to know that I'm the only conscious thing in the universe and there is nothing outside of my experience. I've become so attached to the notion of other. My entire life style depends on others.

Idea to make this post here makes no sense either, since everything is me and nobody actually replying, I'm imagining it.  I'm not suicidal or something I just want to know how do I live my life with all this bitter truth. 

[Holykael]

God likes to torture itself. It is beyond ego. There is nothing you can do. Enjoy the misery. Im talking to myself cuz you are a projection of my mind and I'm the one who's feeling the misery.

[Someone here]

@Vlad_ who filled your head with that crap ?

[Vlad_]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

@Vlad_ who filled your head with that crap ?

My direct experience with 5MeoDMT 

[Someone here]

3 minutes ago, Vlad_ said:

My direct experience with 5MeoDMT 

Elaborate please. What was the experience like ?and how did you draw the conclusion that you are "the only conscious thing in the universe "?

Also, by any chance ,did you listen to Leo's solipsism video ? Because the terminology you are Framing this with is so similar to Leo. 

[Holykael]

Worse than being the only conscious being in existence is that you have no freedom during life mode. Everything is predestined and you are conditioned in your freedom by lack of resources and everything.

If you are god you don't need anything, the feeling of unity and oneness supercedes any material wants but good luck attaining that state of consciousness. God is not generous. God is a cruel bastard who keeps you within a limited ego stuck in a script of its own making.  A script that doesn't care about your well being.

[Vlad_]

7 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Elaborate please. What was the experience like ?and how did you draw the conclusion that you are "the only conscious thing in the universe "?

Also, by any chance ,did you listen to Leo's solipsism video ? Because the terminology you are Framing this with is so similar to Leo. 

I watched his video around 6 months ago, but I thought it was some philosophical ideas. Since I started working with 5MeoDMT I realized that I'm the actual god and there is nothing beyond or outside of my experience. It freaks me out all the time so I go back to the dream of my human life. 

I actually wish that the truth was something I used to believe. I used to think that we are all connected and all have experience and consciousness separately from each other. Unfortunately, this idea is mistaken. Nobody is having experience, it's just me. And it's not a believe this is the actual thing. Anyways, at this point I can't accept it so I'm going to check it again and again. Maybe when I verify it 1000 times, I will accept it. 

 

[Vlad_]

15 minutes ago, Holykael said:

Worse than being the only conscious being in existence is that you have no freedom during life mode. Everything is predestined and you are conditioned in your freedom by lack of resources and everything.

If you are god you don't need anything, the feeling of unity and oneness supercedes any material wants but good luck attaining that state of consciousness. God is not generous. God is a cruel bastard who keeps you within a limited ego stuck in a script of its own making.  A script that doesn't care about your well being.

Yes, that's how I feel about it. God seems to be perfectly fine with me having no meaning in life but having to live life anyways. On the other hand, there is nobody to blame or to make responsible for it. Every time when I wake up from my dream, I realize that I actually enjoy my imaginary life with all its struggles and I chose to live in the dream rather then to be in absolute. I believe it's because when I'm God there is nothing that surprises me anymore, no needs no instincts, just me myself and I. 

[Breakingthewall]

@Vlad_ what you say is false. for the simple reason that all thoughts are. they are finite, and reality is infinite. Forget ideas, seek direct experience. dismiss all concepts as irrelevant. they are finite, they cannot grasp reality

[Vlad_]

3 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Vlad_ what you say is false. for the simple reason that all thoughts are. they are finite, and reality is infinite. Forget ideas, seek direct experience. dismiss all concepts as irrelevant. they are finite, they cannot grasp reality

You can't grasp what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about thougts and ideas. This is the  way  actual reality is. I'm absolutely one and it's a not a thought. You don't have experience right now and it's not a thought either. There is only me and my imagination. 

 

[Breakingthewall]

That you are saying are thoughts.

4 minutes ago, Vlad_ said:

You don't have experience right now and it's not a thought either

This is a though.

4 minutes ago, Vlad_ said:

There is only me and my imagination. 

 

Another thought.

Just conceptualizing psychedelic realizations. If right now you were highly conscious and you talked to someone, you would realize that this person is the infinite, everything is. things are not square and concrete, they are infinite, they are unthinkable

[iboughtleosbooklist]

54 minutes ago, Vlad_ said:

 

Damn. You figured it out. One dumb thing you are doing is verifying it over and over. Come on bro, stop torturing yourself. It's obviously true isn't it? Just let it go, take a break from psychedelics and all mind altering substances. You only need to get through this one life before your memories are reset again, so it's not gonna feel like you are forever alone.

For me the realisation of no others wasn't that painful. It means nobody ever suffered except you, so all that horrible shit like 16,000 people dying in the earthquakes in Turkey is an illusion. (And no I don't believe I'm gonna live the life of everyone who ever existed in this universe, fuck off with that egg theory bullshit). 

My advice is lame but time heals all wounds. I was in pain daily about the solipsism realization but eventually just accepted it. It took like 6 months of depression but eventually I saw the bright side of being the only thing in existence.

Yes, everything is pointless like sports, socializing, sex, work. It's all unnecessary suffering for nobody. Quit it. Find more passive entertainment. Be a voyeur of life. Get comfy until you reincarnate.

[Vlad_]

7 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

That you are saying are thoughts.

This is a though.

Another thought.

Just conceptualizing psychedelic realizations. If right now you were highly conscious and you talked to someone, you would realize that this person is the infinite, everything is. things are not square and concrete, they are infinite, they are unthinkable

Yes bro. That’s 100% correct. The question is how do you live with it 

[Holykael]

5 minutes ago, iboughtleosbooklist said:

 

Damn. You figured it out. One dumb thing you are doing is verifying it over and over. Come on bro, stop torturing yourself. It's obviously true isn't it? Just let it go, take a break from psychedelics and all mind altering substances. You only need to get through this one life before your memories are reset again, so it's not gonna feel like you are forever alone.

For me the realisation of no others wasn't that painful. It means nobody ever suffered except you, so all that horrible shit like 16,000 people dying in the earthquakes in Turkey is an illusion. (And no I don't believe I'm gonna live the life of everyone who ever existed in this universe, fuck off with that egg theory bullshit). 

My advice is lame but time heals all wounds. I was in pain daily about the solipsism realization but eventually just accepted it. It took like 6 months of depression but eventually I saw the bright side of being the only thing in existence.

Yes, everything is pointless like sports, socializing, sex, work. It's all unnecessary suffering for nobody. Quit it. Find more passive entertainment. Be a voyeur of life. Get comfy until you reincarnate.

I've god sad news for you but you're going to live every life in existence. Or better I will because god does not discriminate and it'll go through every possible piece of shit experience. Proof of that is my life.

Edited February 9, 2023 by Holykael

[Breakingthewall]

1 minute ago, Vlad_ said:

Yes bro. That’s 100% correct. The question is how do you live with it 

trying not to conceptualize because it only leads to anxiety and confusion, and trying to be as conscious as possible. the ego is not worth it, we have to get out of it. reality is magnificent, beyond any dream. do whatever it takes to break more and more the limits of the mind, as we are doing i think 

[iboughtleosbooklist]

@Holykael sorry bro but my life is proof that God DOES discriminate (and I know for a fact it wasn't just a roll of the dice LOL). Life is ridiculously balanced and always has been, nobody can convince me that egg theory is true. I'm at a point where I believe eternal recurrence over egg theory, and of course I would take it. God is sooooo biased, I love it. I don't listen to Leo about his unbiased infinite love bs that's not in my direct experience. Never has been.

[Holykael]

1 minute ago, iboughtleosbooklist said:

@Holykael sorry bro but my life is proof that God DOES discriminate (and I know for a fact it wasn't just a roll of the dice LOL). Life is ridiculously balanced and always has been, nobody can convince me that egg theory is true. I'm at a point where I believe eternal recurrence over egg theory, and of course I would take it. God is sooooo biased, I love it. I don't listen to Leo about his unbiased infinite love bs that's not in my direct experience. Never has been.

Your life isn't proof of anything because first of all even the good lives are part of infinity so just because you got lucky...

God will want to experience the non balanced lives too. God is a major cu**, accept it.

8 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

trying not to conceptualize because it only leads to anxiety and confusion, and trying to be as conscious as possible. the ego is not worth it, we have to get out of it. reality is magnificent, beyond any dream. do whatever it takes to break more and more the limits of the mind, as we are doing i think 

 

[Rahra]

Solipsism is falsehood, at least the way I experienced it. What a day.

[Vlad_]

14 minutes ago, iboughtleosbooklist said:

 

Damn. You figured it out. One dumb thing you are doing is verifying it over and over. Come on bro, stop torturing yourself. It's obviously true isn't it? Just let it go, take a break from psychedelics and all mind altering substances. You only need to get through this one life before your memories are reset again, so it's not gonna feel like you are forever alone.

For me the realisation of no others wasn't that painful. It means nobody ever suffered except you, so all that horrible shit like 16,000 people dying in the earthquakes in Turkey is an illusion. (And no I don't believe I'm gonna live the life of everyone who ever existed in this universe, fuck off with that egg theory bullshit). 

My advice is lame but time heals all wounds. I was in pain daily about the solipsism realization but eventually just accepted it. It took like 6 months of depression but eventually I saw the bright side of being the only thing in existence.

Yes, everything is pointless like sports, socializing, sex, work. It's all unnecessary suffering for nobody. Quit it. Find more passive entertainment. Be a voyeur of life. Get comfy until you reincarnate.

The most difficult part for me is to live my life knowing the truth.

to go to work and to know that it’s a part of the dream 

to socialize with people who are not real 

to know that all my needs are imaginary but nevertheless having to fulfill them 

The saddest part is that I can’t escape it. I can’t just sit on the street and to do nothing because I will get hungry or I will get cold. 

The truth can’t save me from having to survive 

[iboughtleosbooklist]

@Holykael Who exactly told you you'd live every life? Leo. Radical implications of oneness. I was stuck there too, you need to transcend Leo my friend. He doesn't exist, his advice is worthless. Direct experience is king.

Btw your life can't be that bad, you have great hair ?