Planning A Future

[Principium Nexus]

Hey members of actualized!

I have been talking with this girl for now over four months and have never had a boring conversation with her. I had some feelings for a while now but today she told me aswell she is in love with me . Okay so all the romantic stuff aside, I know her very well and so does she but we have never met in real life. She lives at the otherside of the planet and is planning to come where I live in the summer or this year. After summer I'm starting a new study which takes 3 years to complete (Bsc), but I don't know how all this would fit together at this moment.

Does anyone have experience with longdistant relations or someone you fell in love with which lives far away (other continent)? I don't  know maybe you guys have some advice, tips, or insights that might help me along.

[Annie]

@Principium Nexus  Have experienced this first hand. Had to have a long distance relationship (different continents) for 4 years. We only saw each other twice during that time and wrote letters (yes, letters by airmail, praying they'd make it to the other one in a week or so because not everybody had internet back then) which is basically how we got to know each other (we did meet in person but only got to spend two days together). After those 4 years of immense devotion and patience we lived together for a few months only, then had to live apart again for almost another year until we finally got married, solved all the visa-issues (which were an additional problem back then) and we could finally live together. It was hard, extremely hard at times but our stubbornness paid off because now, almost 20 years later, we're still together. But in this day and age with internet and (relatively) affordable airfare I guess it'd be easier.

[abgespaced]

Majority of LDR's fail due to lack of physical contact. Like a new born baby.

 

Annie's case having a happy ending is a rare exception.

 

One of you will have to move permanently, or be prepared for an intense amount of work for a marginal chance of success.

[egoeimai]

No buddy it's not a good idea. I have experienced it also. Wasted time tbh. Dont put your energy there. Its also very bad for your overall mental health.

[Vercingetorix]

If you have lots of experience with other girls and you are sure what you want in a girl and she fits this then go ahead and be with a "relationship" with her until you meet. If when you meet her you continue to be sure about this then IMO you have to live with her as soon as possible for a period of time to really know her. If you have to wait years before doing so then it's a big risk! If you haven't been in a lot of relationships before it's a big risk!

Careful not to "live for the future", if you enjoy the distant relationship you have right now, it's good enough for you then fine, but don't think ok I'll sacrifice my present for the future, because this future may never come.
 

Another option for you is, for now, to just keep a good friendship with her and start to know her better, meanwhile having other girlfriends and gaining experience, and then when you finally meet her you will know much better if it's "worth it".

Edited March 7, 2017 by Vercingetorix

[Principium Nexus]

I think i should indeed try out a while and see if it is a lasting relationship. Being at a distance is so different than being around all the time so that might change in a positive way or turn out as something else.

Appreciate the feedback guys! It's a tough decision for sure if one of us were to move.

[Sevi]

I have changed continents a while ago, it is a real growth and for sure an emotional labor.

When you get together, probably it'll be much easier for you to figure it out. You know each other for months, so most likely she also has her things in upcoming years as well too. 

Wishing you all the best