How to appreciate people free from social conditioning?

[ZGROPIUS]

One example such as Jorden Peterson
I’ve only watched some of his psychology classes online, and it helped. But the teacher I really love, the people around me, and my close friends. Are all saying that he's shallow and looking down on him as if he's such a waste, and his whole life is a joke.☹️

I love how he looks, and his steady temperament. I just love one human existence. But every time I tend to appreciate it, I feel the memories come up of what people say abt him. As if, if I appreciate the symbol of his appearance. I also bear those criticisms about him from the people I know. I don't know how to manage it.

If only talk about appearance. There are so many things. My biggest satisfaction comes from appreciating people's characteristics and beauty. 

 

But It is only recently have I come to find out this more and more. All these times, The people with the characteristic I specifically love, are might actually getting attacked and feel hurt by it. 

My perfect aesthetic human, the only human appearance I personally desire. With a strong sharp aquiline nose, l0ng face, emaciated body, and alternative dressing style. They say they’ve been torturing their whole life about how they looked, even using ‘bullied’ and ‘beaten down’ those words. I just really don’t know what to say. There are many other examples. My feeling and my perception bear the same rejection and violence if things are being judged. They are exactly what I love. But I don’t know how to be free from the trauma when I’m identifying with my own perceptions.

I feel the trauma when a toxic intimate friend keeps attacking anything I love before I get into self-help. I’m afraid of being disliked & attacked. I'm not sure if it was them who traumatized me or if they just led my fear out to the light. I feel Everyone's criticism seems to have its point, I don't know what is true. I just immediately feel the loss and must change my mind to gain back the love. I adopt fears and I feel like a marionette in details. My only path is to dissolve it. I want to freely appreciate everything.

I want to finally be able to love every human's appearance with my love totally open and draw out their unique characteristics. I want to feel free and fearless to create and appreciate. To love what I love in the end.

Edited February 2, 2023 by ZGROPIUS
Typesetting

[Devin]

Maybe try to not ask "do i or they love_______", just enjoy/love.

There's no such thing as someone loving or hating something anyways, they're just made up concepts.

[ZGROPIUS]

@Judy2 Mmmm...... you got the point. Thank you.