How to find out if you're going insane? If you've lost your mind, how do you gain it

[Marvelllious]

For the last 5 months, I've been in this really strange limbo state where I can't relate to people or even speak with them on a deeper level. This may sound like a normal self-help problem that needs more social exposure but it isn't that. It's strange because the moment I entered this limbo state my whole experience with day-to-day life became dull and I would even say ghost-like. My mind-muscle connection when working out wasn't the same, I didn't feel hungry at all, and I started losing myself in the sentences created during conversations which lead to really awkward moments. When I get down and try to do something hard I get tired after a couple of minutes. The experience is surreal in a sense because the days are passing as if I'm reverting my evolution process or at least it feels like that. Time passes really fast compared to my "normal" state. All of this is still present today. 

I had it mistaken for an awakening at first but the more time went on the more I realized I can't have been that. A similar experience happened like this one during the start of the covid pandemic but the limbo I was in during that time had me experiencing constant anxiety for no reason. I was functioning well though, there wasn't a struggle with talking, eating, working out, and studying except the ongoing anxiety. Some time(7 months) went by and it suddenly disappeared. I was so happy to be free of this so I went on enjoying life and working on myself. In the winter of 2022, I had moments when I would go to the gym and a strange sensation was connected to my ears and heart in a weird sync, there was a rhythm that would loop itself lasting from 5 to 15 minutes. My breath reminded me of something in the past as if a Deja Vu from my childhood.  It was strange but I couldn't make anything out of it so I left it out as a "wtf" moment. In the summer of 2022, I was feeling at my best, with no strange experiences like that except weed-induced shenanigans. 

I watched a ted talk minutes ago which resonated with what I'm experiencing. There is a part in the video where the guy says "The first time you lose your mind you don't feel like you're becoming less sane, you feel like you are becoming saner." During the summer I was feeling saner but I caused a whole lot of trouble to the people I love. I still kept on going with the trouble without any realization. I had dreams which made me feel like "The Chosen one". There was this one where I as a character was in the middle of the world(imagine a picture of Earth with a guy in the middle) and everyone(7 billion people) were looking at me while I also had this great eyeball hanging right on top of my head. During that time I was obsessed with synchronicities( the Jungian type) and when I would wake up and go on about my day every single eye symbol i saw as street art or when a shop I entered had eye talismans or whatever else would just make me fill this up into the "Chosen one" narrative. I also spent a great amount of time in isolation which could be something, right?

At times I would get really frustrated because there is no way to explain this in a manner that won't sound crazy to an average guy. I'm so done with this experience I just want to move on. If you've been in a similar situation or have some idea what the problem is I would be glad to know Im not insane. The fragmented thought process left me to this conclusion after long weeks of analysis. 

 

[Devin]

Isolation, not eating, or marijuana can cause that.

Edited February 2, 2023 by Devin

[BuddhistLover]

Yeah, marijuana can cause psychosis. It makes you feel like nothing really exists at all, like you're just in this spiral where everything is in a loop. It looks like you may be experiencing mental illness, welcome to the club.

Edited February 15, 2023 by BuddhistLover

[flowboy]

 

On 01/02/2023 at 11:42 PM, Marvelllious said:

I had moments when I would go to the gym and a strange sensation was connected to my ears and heart in a weird sync, there was a rhythm that would loop itself lasting from 5 to 15 minutes. My breath reminded me of something in the past as if a Deja Vu from my childhood.

Did you have any complications with your birth?

Was your mother in distress when she carried you inside?

Was there an unsafe situation or were you mistreated when you were between 0-5 years old?

[EugeneTheSage]

Before you would be stuffed with harmful drugs, go to the endocrinologist first: maybe you just have low vitamin D level. I personally had critically low 9ng/ml and was barely able to work for 2 hrs per day.