How to find out if you're going insane? If you've lost your mind, how do you gain it

[Marvelllious]

For the last 5 months, I've been in this really strange limbo state where I can't relate to people or even speak with them on a deeper level. This may sound like a normal self-help problem that needs more social exposure but it isn't that. It's strange because the moment I entered this limbo state my whole experience with day-to-day life became dull and I would even say ghost-like. My mind-muscle connection when working out wasn't the same, I didn't feel hungry at all, and I started losing myself in the sentences created during conversations which lead to really awkward moments. When I get down and try to do something hard I get tired after a couple of minutes. The experience is surreal in a sense because the days are passing as if I'm reverting my evolution process or at least it feels like that. Time passes really fast compared to my "normal" state. All of this is still present today. 

I had it mistaken for an awakening at first but the more time went on the more I realized I can't have been that. A similar experience happened like this one during the start of the covid pandemic but the limbo I was in during that time had me experiencing constant anxiety for no reason. I was functioning well though, there wasn't a struggle with talking, eating, working out, and studying except the ongoing anxiety. Some time(7 months) went by and it suddenly disappeared. I was so happy to be free of this so I went on enjoying life and working on myself. In the winter of 2022, I had moments when I would go to the gym and a strange sensation was connected to my ears and heart in a weird sync, there was a rhythm that would loop itself lasting from 5 to 15 minutes. My breath reminded me of something in the past as if a Deja Vu from my childhood.  It was strange but I couldn't make anything out of it so I left it out as a "wtf" moment. In the summer of 2022, I was feeling at my best, with no strange experiences like that except weed-induced shenanigans. 

I watched a ted talk minutes ago which resonated with what I'm experiencing. There is a part in the video where the guy says "The first time you lose your mind you don't feel like you're becoming less sane, you feel like you are becoming saner." During the summer I was feeling saner but I caused a whole lot of trouble to the people I love. I still kept on going with the trouble without any realization. I had dreams which made me feel like "The Chosen one". There was this one where I as a character was in the middle of the world(imagine a picture of Earth with a guy in the middle) and everyone(7 billion people) were looking at me while I also had this great eyeball hanging right on top of my head. During that time I was obsessed with synchronicities( the Jungian type) and when I would wake up and go on about my day every single eye symbol i saw as street art or when a shop I entered had eye talismans or whatever else would just make me fill this up into the "Chosen one" narrative. I also spent a great amount of time in isolation which could be something, right?

At times I would get really frustrated because there is no way to explain this in a manner that won't sound crazy to an average guy. I'm so done with this experience I just want to move on. If you've been in a similar situation or have some idea what the problem is I would be glad to know Im not insane. The fragmented thought process left me to this conclusion after long weeks of analysis. 

 

Edited February 1, 2023 by Marvelllious

[Nathan]

I've had two similar experiences (lots of synchronicities, beleiving certain scenarios and images represented specific meaning for me in particular and that I was supposed to encounter them etc). It did feel like I was becoming more sane as opposed to the opposite, yet looking back on actions I took in retrospect it's hard to fully understand where I was coming from. ?

Both were diagnosed as transitory psychotic episodes and after the remission of each I wasn't advised to take a medication regimen or anything like that as a prophylactic. The first episode was very traumatising, then there was a 4 year gap of complete remission before the second. The second wasn't a big deal and I didn't really cause any issues for anybody,but it was the same kind of experience internally. My girlfriend said she wouldn't have even known if I hadn't opened up about it.

You sound lucid. Interacting with people and reality in general after leaving our "normal state" for a time is bound to not be as smooth, your mind is busy analysing what happend and where you stand. These experiences can be disorienting. Time feels like it goes quicker when you're not filling it with novel, memorable content.

Just take it one day at a time and don't catastrophise about the future too much. It's not the end of the world and you aren't the only person in life to ever deviate from a  conventional headspace. If it ever happens again, it won't be your first rodeo and you'll handle it better. Do things you enjoy and try to employ your sense of humour when thinking about it all, it doesn't have to be deadly serious all of the time. 

You'll probably find yourself more equipped to relate to and empathise with people who've been through similar experiences going forward too which is a plus. 

 

[aurum]

@Marvelllious you sound sane to me.

I would focus on more traditional personal development for now. 

[Leo Gura]

If you cannot have conversations with normal people without them looking at your weird, that's your clue you are spiraling out of control.

No matter how conscious you get, you should always retain your ability to talk with normal people in a reasonable way without them thinking anything is wrong with you.

The first thing I notice about people with mental illness and dysfunction is that they cannot communicate coherently and reasonably with me. They are lost in their own minds with little awareness of how others percieve them.

Edited February 2, 2023 by Leo Gura

[BipolarGrowth]

If you get even halfway to insanity, society will let you know. There won’t be a need to ask the question. Mental health problems, difficulties, or even full-on disorders aren’t really the same as insanity. 

[Igor82]

@Leo Gura Hello. You seem to imply an error here that in normal conversations with others, one ought to take responsibility for what other people's reactions are; while it is usually the case that I do not even know the reasons to why they appear for the other person unless I fully am them.

 

If you wish; please remember that in social interactions, one might place one's focus on what is being expressed by oneself and only that. Because we can feel for ourselves if something is coherent with our truth or not, and even if the truth in question was accurately described or not.

I only take responsibility of that which I express; where I focus mostly on expressing my truth clearly, rather than diluting my focus with what might me speculations about what other people thoughts are of me.

Edited February 3, 2023 by Igor82

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, Igor82 said:

one ought to take responsibility for what other people's reactions are

Not their reactions, but you need to have a sense of others' subjective reality relative to your own.

The key problem with people who have lost their minds is that they have no sense of anyone else's reality but their own, to the point where they cannot even tell that they are acting weird or incoherent in the eyes of others. This is the tell tale sign of being lost inside your own mind, like a homeless person rambling to himself.

No matter how conscious or spiritual you get you need to maintain your ability to communicate smoothly with others. To communicate smoothly with others requires that you are aware of their subjective reality, not just your own.

Edited February 3, 2023 by Leo Gura

[bambi]

18 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Not their reactions, but you need to have a sense of others' subjective reality relative to your own.

The key problem with people who have lost their minds is that they have no sense of anyone else's reality but their own, to the point where they cannot even tell that they are acting weird or incoherent in the eyes of others. This is the tell tale sign of being lost inside your own mind, like a homeless person rambling to himself.

No matter how conscious or spiritual you get you need to maintain your ability to communicate smoothly with others. To communicate smoothly with others requires that you are aware of their subjective reality, not just your own.

 

There are no other subjective realities remember

[Chives99]

autistic people have more of  a self focus on their own stories  and idioms so people can't understand their own stuff as they havent bridged the gap to make it relatable and confuse people, the word comes from the greek prefix auto which means self, it lacks empathy and struggles to understand people. Some people are so severe they cant even speak as their brains havent wired to connect to other people

[Chives99]

1 hour ago, bambi said:

 

There are no other subjective realities remember

in the relative domain you have to relate

[Leo Gura]

@bambi You are getting close to being kicked out of here for being so stupid.

You don't deserve my intelligence.

Shame on you. You rat.

Just look at your rat-like posts!

Edited February 3, 2023 by Leo Gura

[bambi]

14 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@bambi You are getting close to being kicked out of here for being so stupid.

You don't deserve my intelligence.

Shame on you. You rat.

Just look at your rat-like posts!

Woah whats with the hostility and the insults? What do you mean rat like posts?

[Rahra]

I almost lost my mind too in this spiritual shit, and my life, several times. 

To this day my life is still in danger. Demons still after me and shit.

But as my ex-girlfriend told me, God is Great.

The devil is not.

[Igor82]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Not their reactions, but you need to have a sense of others' subjective reality relative to your own.

The key problem with people who have lost their minds is that they have no sense of anyone else's reality but their own, to the point where they cannot even tell that they are acting weird or incoherent in the eyes of others. This is the tell tale sign of being lost inside your own mind, like a homeless person rambling to himself.

No matter how conscious or spiritual you get you need to maintain your ability to communicate smoothly with others. To communicate smoothly with others requires that you are aware of their subjective reality, not just your own.

@Leo Gura
I agree, so may I summarize the idea here that I think you are expressing; that one may preferably take into account what one-self knows about what are the clear signs that appear in one's own reality; of what certainly may be the experience of other people's reactions.
 In this way, I may, so to say: be scientific using my own subjective experience (my truth) directly; rather than what I think other people's thoughts are (which I am sure would be more of an illusion or "indirect[ion]"; although with truth in it: in my subjective experience). Yet that would in such a case have my energy be spent on creating such thoughts or illusions, rather than focusing on expressing myself fully; if that is what I wish to do.

I think many people believe that they have to think of what other people are "certainly" (so to say); thinking of them, yet perhaps this requires "too much effort" (so to speak), and by that I mean that it may limit one's own self-expression to invest or divest energy on doing so.

[Bojan V]

@Leo Gura Please, delete my account. I would PM you, but i accidentaly deleted messenger.

This place is so toxic and many of your posts too. I don't want to have anything to do with actualized.org.

Thank you for everything and be well.

 

[Leo Gura]

@Igor82 There is a notion called: attunement to the subjective reality of others.

You don't have to buy into the reality of others, but you must be aware of what their subjective reality is and how they perceive you. This has nothing to do with caring what they think of you or them liking you.

If you are dealing with a hungry lion, you should be aware of his subjective reality and your place in it. Inability to do this is a mental dysfunction.

Edited February 3, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Igor82]

24 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Igor82 There is a notion called: attunement to the subjective reality of others.

You don't have to buy into the reality of others, but you must be aware of what their subjective reality is and how they perceive you. This has nothing to do with caring what they think of you or them liking you.

If you are dealing with a hungry lion, you should be aware of his subjective reality and your place in it. Inability to do this is a mental dysfunction.

@Leo Gura
I honestly think you are "diluting yourself" (so to speak), about this.
 I do not know of the subjective reality of others unless I subjectively am them. I only know of my own subjective experience of others, which sometimes is presenting that which other people express through or in use of their own subjective experience.

Do you understand what I mean so far, or do you perhaps want me to give you more examples about this notion?
 With kind regards.
 

Edited February 3, 2023 by Igor82

[BipolarGrowth]

I can actually understand Leo’s frustration here a bit when the thread consists of ridiculous conflation of relative vs. absolute perspectives which have been explained here likely thousands of times. What topped it all off for me was seeing someone say “diluting” yourself ?

 

I mean I can get that Leo sounds salty here though, so maybe I’m missing something lol

 

The interesting thing about all this is that mouse posting is okay, but rat posting is not.

Edited February 3, 2023 by BipolarGrowth

[vladorion]

3 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

I can actually understand Leo’s frustration here a bit when the thread consists of ridiculous conflation of relative vs. absolute perspectives which have been explained here likely thousands of times. What topped it all off for me was seeing someone say “diluting” yourself ?

Leo does it all the time himself when it suits his ideology.

[Leo Gura]

53 minutes ago, Igor82 said:

 I do not know of the subjective reality of others unless I subjectively am them.

Technically yes, but don't get too technical here. Grasp what I said at a high level.

You can understand the frame of mind of other people with whom you're dealing with.

The technical psychological term for this is "theory of mind". Look it up.

Edited February 3, 2023 by Leo Gura