I'm probably autistic. What do I do?

[Devin]

19 minutes ago, Blackbeat said:

Agreed, Have to lube up that button if I see they go too far on anyone I see doing it.

Yeah, but there's also a lot of subtle stuff that will mess with people, can't really ban that stuff, the abusers don't even know they're doing it.

Edited February 1, 2023 by Devin

[ZGROPIUS]

I want to hug you if I'm there. Some open-minded loving friends could lift you up so high

• Journaling by using the voice recorder. Add anything you love to it. Just you feeling your voice with the surroundings.
  • DAYONE is the best journaling app I've ever used. I use it every day since 4 years ago. feeling too good never stopped.
• Expressing yourself. Especially describing your feelings and your desires to the ones that will care and respond to you.
  • I've built deep bound with my friends when I'm doing this. I had so much fun. And brings people who used to be indifferent closer. By take action after studying Leo's "Practice Love" education video. You will understand how to do it in that video.
  • Keep interacting and expressing your feelings and thoughts. Experience the connection you build with people.
  • Find people that care for you, 'Love' you and just spend more time with them.
• A psychologist with the temperament / style you like will help you see more of yourself.

I hope this help. This episode is the MOST PRACTICAL thing in my whole life. I instantly grasped it and started doing it.

I like you so I hope you are fine. (ﾟ▽ﾟ)/?✨ 加油！

 

[Ulax]

2 hours ago, bloomer said:

@ZGROPIUS@Ulax

Thanks dude. I'll check out the channel now.

I don't bring up bullying experience for sympathy, not saying that you're doing that, just it's important to your development because when all you get from people is just abuse and shit for the longest time it obviously effects you particularly in your formative years when that shit appears to be more important. I realize looking back that I was dealing with a bunch of retards. I went to a terrible school and was placed in bad classes.

@bloomer I get you dude. Sounds like you were really unlucky in terms of the school you went to.

Also, I got quite chronically bullied when I was younger too. I understand some of the deep effects it can have.

[bloomer]

@Devin

4 hours ago, Devin said:

Just consciously work on improving eye contact, it will come and become even more than comfortable actually, it is actually an intimate and connecting thing to do. There are youtube videos for you to practice.

Journaling will help you with being less short, and the more you interact with people the more comfortable you will get and in turn get out of your head and be less short, just keep putting yourself out there.

People that don't like other people don't like most people, don't worry about it, it's them not you, keep looking for people you like to be with.

Many adults are still mean, just less of them, and less mean, I think they're 'good enough' though, you can find people you enjoy being with. But you should also work on enjoying being alone because enjoyment does not come from people and it's not good to think it's only from one source. Nonetheless though, I suggest finding some people and growing in a way where you can enjoy people, I love it.

Being more content with yourself; the tricks for me are seeing how my goals are usually from caring what others think, and realizing they will never bring joy. And the other big trick is just thinking of if there is anything within my reach I can do RIGHT NOW that I would enjoy, I have to quit thinking I need some grand thing or experience to have enjoyment, those are beliefs that are ingrained in us from the ignorance of society, in reality, I can enjoy a glass of water, TRULY, an orange, watching the sky, yoga, watching the stars, sunrise, sunset, going for a walk, cooking something, cleaning even,....

I've been working on the eye contact it's very weird because it's all conscious and when I stop doing it consciously I stop doing it. I tend to stare too long when I force it and its' weird and makes people uncomfortable. 

I journal a lot actually but about subjects most people wouldn't care for or have interest in. Even in my journal I struggle with talking about my feelings. 

I'm trying to find people I like but there aren't many of them lol.

I'm working on loving myself slowly. I need some evidence that I'm lovable is the problem. Right now it just feels like I'm lying to myself.

@Blackbeat

4 hours ago, Blackbeat said:

Agreed, Have to lube up that button if I see they go too far on anyone I see doing it.

lube up button? what you on about? lol

@ZGROPIUS

3 hours ago, ZGROPIUS said:

I want to hug you if I'm there. Some open-minded loving friends could lift you up so high

• Journaling by using the voice recorder. Add anything you love to it. Just you feeling your voice with the surroundings.
  • DAYONE is the best journaling app I've ever used. I use it every day since 4 years ago. feeling too good never stopped.
• Expressing yourself. Especially describing your feelings and your desires to the ones that will care and respond to you.
  • I've built deep bound with my friends when I'm doing this. I had so much fun. And brings people who used to be indifferent closer. By take action after studying Leo's "Practice Love" education video. You will understand how to do it in that video.
  • Keep interacting and expressing your feelings and thoughts. Experience the connection you build with people.
  • Find people that care for you, 'Love' you and just spend more time with them.
• A psychologist with the temperament / style you like will help you see more of yourself.

I hope this help. This episode is the MOST PRACTICAL thing in my whole life. I instantly grasped it and started doing it.

I like you so I hope you are fine. (ﾟ▽ﾟ)/?✨ 加油！

Thank you friend I appreciate the message. I've added this to my journal and will come back and listen to the video.

@Ulax

2 hours ago, Ulax said:

I get you dude. Sounds like you were really unlucky in terms of the school you went to.

Also, I got quite chronically bullied when I was younger too. I understand some of the deep effects it can have.

Thanks man I'm sorry to hear you had bad experiences. Live and learn the bad experiences shape us and who we are and who we're going to become. We're gonna be good anyway we actively want to make our lives better, are introspecting, we're doing better than a lot of people. Best wishes. 

[Devin]

52 minutes ago, bloomer said:

@Devin

I've been working on the eye contact it's very weird because it's all conscious and when I stop doing it consciously I stop doing it. I tend to stare too long when I force it and its' weird and makes people uncomfortable. 

I journal a lot actually but about subjects most people wouldn't care for or have interest in. Even in my journal I struggle with talking about my feelings. 

I'm trying to find people I like but there aren't many of them lol.

I'm working on loving myself slowly. I need some evidence that I'm lovable is the problem. Right now it just feels like I'm lying to myself.

 

The trick for me with finding people I like is spending only the amount of time with people that I need to, I only need a little socialization, but it can really suck if I don't get that hit of it regularly. They don't need to be perfect, just good enough, some flaws are fine. This along with getting out there, like with sports, group sports really help you meet a lot of people, there are usually non serious(recreational) adult leagues in most sports where people don't take the game too serious and welcome noobs by the way.

I'm not sure I'd worry about being loveable, I don't think it would matter either way even if you could be unlovable, my schtick that works for me is just enjoy, not in a instagram sort of way but a true peaceful enjoyment way.

[trenton]

@bloomer

I should probably share my experience with autism. Sometimes it feels disempowering when I realize how much of my behavior it explains. It makes me feel like I'm not in control and free will is an illusion. This is reinforced by other people who are afraid of what they don't understand. No matter how hard I try to be good, I will inevitably be corrupt in some way from another perspective. I literally am good, but not all finite forms of love and goodness compute with one another, thus creating conflict.

I spend most of my time isolated because I don't normally see value in interacting with other people. I have limited interests and people often bore me to death with small talk and day to gossip. If someone is trying to teach me something new about subjects like chess, psychology, emotions, philosophy, society, or something I find interesting, then I see value in interacting with them.

I was bullied on several occasions as well. It stopped once I was around a few friends. Groups are simply too intimidating to attack. The kid without friends who sits isolated from others will often be bullied. This is how I naturally behaved, making me an easy target on so many occasions. Sometimes my literal interpretations would get me into trouble by making people think I'm a smartass. This includes the assistant principal.

Unfortunately, the suicide rates are disturbing. I have been suffering from a mild form of depression for basically my entire life. I was never happy with my life as child. Maybe it would have been better if dad didn't flee the state to avoid paying child support. My life has pretty much always felt hollow and it makes it harder for me to find my purpose as well. I had lots of suicidal thoughts before, but I know I would never act on them. They have subsided.

I could give more details, but I won't make this too long. I hope one day I find a way to cure the constant mild depression. 

[SeaMonster]

There are other conditions that share many of the same symptoms, e.g. schizoid personality disorder or even simply having social anxiety.

Autism is a highly trendy self-diagnosis these days.  Genuinely autistic people have a REALLY hard time socially adjusting; they are very different not just because they are shy or anxious or isolated, but because there are real differences in wiring and deficit in processing social situations.

Just off your posts, you don't strike me as necessarily autistic, especially since you're self-aware in how you deploy rudeness, e.g.

Edited February 2, 2023 by SeaMonster

[MuadDib]

By virtue of the principle of homophily, it's likely that many people on this forum are similar to you. Self-awareness is a great first step, and then self-awareness geared towards benefiting yourself and others with your 'uniqueness' is a great extension to that. I watched this interesting Vaush clip that specifically covered the theme of 'masking' that many people on the spectrum may do as a result of being subtly traumatized by the social milieu growing up:
 

He makes a great argument for a Tarantino movie marathon followed by a Breaking Bad and Better Caul Saul binge. I might bring some DVDs out the to ranch with the guys:
 

 

[Mada_]

You're right it doesn't really change much, you were still going to have to do work to relieve your social isolation regardless of this diagnosis (whether this diagnosis is even accurate).

Owen Cook will be a great mentor for you. If you live in the US absolutely get to one of his free tours, Owen was light level autistic, his son is autistic and he has had some pretty cool social adventures, and you can go on a payment plan for his programs which is what I did, this will give you good exercises or generally getting your shit together, and also some good outer game techniques to help you with speaking. 

 

These 'insights' you've had about yourself are a huge catalyst for negative motivation, so if you don't do some sitting down, journaling, contemplation and research on how to release this you will self sabotage. 

 

I am 22 in April, I had 5 different girls in my bed and couldn't get an erection before I lost my virginity in 2022. I moved to the city and went out and talked to women every single day until I made it happen. I sharpened my appearance, I did Leo's humour visualisations, I did Holotropic Breathwork to release trauma, I ate well, hit the gym, made sure my house was always clean and tidy. I also met extremely close friends during this process and started a public speaking workshop through the Meetup app. THE WHOLE TIME I was shitting myself nervous, every day a did an approach that pushed my comfort zone, I got shut down by girls and also guys who just didn't want to interact with me. I know my motivation is probably somewhat different to yours and sounds less deeply rooted in self-esteem issues, but if you have a social problem you've got to face it head on and proactively. 

'social problems can only be resolved socially' - My friend Ryan who heard it from some other guy.

 

Also, dude find some shit that you enjoy outside. Idk go rock climbing or something, this has been huge for me, snorkelling, idk. We spend so much time on our fucking screens as young men it would probably solve so many of our problems if we went for a hike each week.

[UDT]

@bloomer Youre probably just below 20 yo

[Aaron p]

On 01/02/2023 at 3:37 PM, bloomer said:

I'm probably autistic. What do I do?

Become a badass 

[Carl-Richard]

23 hours ago, MuadDib said:

 

I just realized that I've been doing something similar to masking, but it's because I'm a bit of a schizo rather than autistic  Like, instead of talking about the most random insane shit that my mind usually thinks about, like "eyo guys, did you know that green tea has pretty much the inverse pharmacological properties of cannabis?", or "did you know that holism is like the fucking coolest concept ever?",  or "you know, the thing you just said about Manchester City winning almost all their previous matches against Arsenal, that reminds me of Hume's problem of induction...", I'll just talk about more mundane stuff unless someone else prompts it. You could say it's the process of an xNxP becoming more ExFJ. I've kinda let myself a little more loose lately though, with the right people. Nowadays when I meet new people, I'm testing them more, testing their schizo meter 

Edited February 5, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[MuadDib]

15 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

I just realized that I've been doing something similar to masking, but it's because I'm a bit of a schizo rather than autistic  Like, instead of talking about the most random insane shit that my mind usually thinks about, like "eyo guys, did you know that green tea has pretty much the inverse pharmacological properties of cannabis?", or "did you know that holism is like the fucking coolest concept ever?",  or "you know, the thing you just said about Manchester City winning almost all their previous matches against Arsenal, that reminds me of Hume's problem of induction...", I'll just talk about more mundane stuff unless someone else prompts it. You could say it's the process of an xNxP becoming more ExFJ. I've kinda let myself a little more loose lately though, with the right people. Nowadays when I meet new people, I'm testing them more, testing their schizo meter 

 

I can't believe my luck on this account. A friend to help me grind out global deforestation.

EDIT: Removed spam text.

Edited February 5, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[Emerald]

@bloomer Autism doesn’t mean that someone is ‘retarded’. Many Autistic people are quite intelligent.

When I was a teacher, I had students in my classes who were on the Autism spectrum who you’d never guess that they were on the spectrum. The only reason I knew is because teachers get notes on their roster about any diagnoses or accommodations that the student has.

And if you are on the autism spectrum, the only difference is that now you know about it.

And it’s better that you know about it because you can better create accommodations and coping strategies for yourself by knowing what others on the spectrum do.

[StarStruck]

@Emerald Is back 

[Carl-Richard]

12 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

@Emerald Is back 

?

Edited February 5, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[bloomer]

@trenton

On 2/2/2023 at 2:55 AM, trenton said:

I should probably share my experience with autism. Sometimes it feels disempowering when I realize how much of my behavior it explains. It makes me feel like I'm not in control and free will is an illusion. This is reinforced by other people who are afraid of what they don't understand. No matter how hard I try to be good, I will inevitably be corrupt in some way from another perspective. I literally am good, but not all finite forms of love and goodness compute with one another, thus creating conflict.

I spend most of my time isolated because I don't normally see value in interacting with other people. I have limited interests and people often bore me to death with small talk and day to gossip. If someone is trying to teach me something new about subjects like chess, psychology, emotions, philosophy, society, or something I find interesting, then I see value in interacting with them.

I was bullied on several occasions as well. It stopped once I was around a few friends. Groups are simply too intimidating to attack. The kid without friends who sits isolated from others will often be bullied. This is how I naturally behaved, making me an easy target on so many occasions. Sometimes my literal interpretations would get me into trouble by making people think I'm a smartass. This includes the assistant principal.

Unfortunately, the suicide rates are disturbing. I have been suffering from a mild form of depression for basically my entire life. I was never happy with my life as child. Maybe it would have been better if dad didn't flee the state to avoid paying child support. My life has pretty much always felt hollow and it makes it harder for me to find my purpose as well. I had lots of suicidal thoughts before, but I know I would never act on them. They have subsided.

I could give more details, but I won't make this too long. I hope one day I find a way to cure the constant mild depression. 

Thank you very much for this reply trenton I relate to you a lot and I understand you deeply. Reading you was reading what I would write myself. Sorry about the shit you've been through brother. If you want to chat with me reach out. I'm happy to talk subjects with you. 

[Basman]

I think that people assigning autism on you during your formative years has done you a disservice. People really can't help themselves when it comes to missapropiating medical diagnosises. You shouldn't call other people autistic even if you suspect they might be. Remember when "retarded" was an actual medical term. People misused it to such a degree that it had to be binned to escape the shaming connotation. I think "neuro-divergent" is a better term than autism at this point.

I'm sorry that people have used it against you. It probably made you ashamed of yourself.

If you think you are having issues in terms of function, then consider seeking a diagnosis. If not, then it doesn't really matter if you are neuro-divergent or not. You are just who you are. I'd avoid self-diagnosis, but you can still learn from the autistic science that there is and see how it can help you better meet your unique needs.