What Makes A Good Man?

[Joyboy]

an observer
and
courage
to be
foolish
- high AQ (Adversity Quotient) also a plus

[ZGROPIUS]

This is a man I love, adore, respect and personally seeking for.

Integrity

• Consciously observing everything, being conscious of existence as deep as possible, and always open for more, before and while they act. This allows everything could exist as they are or be seen in the first place.
  • I can sense the environment field created by their temperament. (the picture reference is at the end.)
  • They seem quiet and conscious, steady, deep, and introverted.

This attitude can accept my existence without demanding me to do anything to ‘earn it’. They don’t take my love from me. I feel I can be with them aside, I want to observe and feel things as well but people are just noisy and interrupting me.

• Cognitive Openness, Respect for existence. Make their opinion open, respecting, and moving towards truth. Have a conscious standard such as “integrity” in their heart when they interact. No use of their “Opinion/perspective/identity” to Territorized any kind of nature. Always open, understanding, consciousing, and loving.
• Basically in order to reach this, it is all what Actualized.org has been teaching.
• Stay quiet or speak honestly. No willing to speak about the things they don't honestly believe in in order to achieve any of their intentions.

 

REAL APPRECIATION OF NATURE, ART, BEAUTY.

without this quality, people are so shriveled like plastic living. I don’t wanna thinking abt them. if you know you know.

Visual appreciation perception is different world views between cognitive opinion ways of viewing. It means it is really different what you can see. (Music and any other kind of art are the same, but I haven’t experienced it yet, but I believe if I can’t create it from the bottom, I don’t truly understand it. So be respectful.) I once left appreciation perception and find out that feeling beautiful is a........idk how to call it, But I know the ability which use to create art and appreciate the "beauty" of the world really does not exist in some people's perception/reality.

Abundant social experience, Maturity

&

Knowledge and understanding of reality

So they can go through and manage all the traumas and troubles while maintaining the conscious of 1 & 2.

This is my personal demand of man. Without appearance consideration, these 4 qualities are fundamental. Only having integrity and appreciation will build a man that is already good enough for our world.

I think social status and money can not represent good people. Because the value of most people doesn’t seek and appreciate these things. They are blind to them and use kindness for ego. So high-status people or popular ones can have no integrity.

 

 

This is the scene of how the observing and appreciating temperament look to me. Totally personal, Guys, I want to know yours as well.

For the Manson example. Even when they act out like this it is still different. You can sense the differences. The playfulness out of love or the hurtful aim is done by truly wanting to deny/reject/blind your existence.

Edited February 1, 2023 by ZGROPIUS

[gettoefl]

the good man is a protector and a provider for those he is responsible for so that he and they not only survive but thrive

[ted73104]

14 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

There are great men and then there are fakers and degenerates.

So sad that most of these fakers are too deluded to even admit they are fakers, and then they become degenerates...

[Gesundheit2]

What makes a man good in one context does not necessarily make him good in all contexts. For example, Tate is a good marketer and influencer, but he's also self-obsessed and psychopathic. Leo is a good teacher, but he likes his personal space more than people. A good man in bed is not necessarily a good man at work (or vice-versa). And so on. So, generally, the better a man is at a greater variety of contexts, the better he is as a man overall. The more contexts you're considered to be good in/at, the better you are as a man in general. You could still lack in some contexts, but a fair assessment is holistic, and so mostly it's a matter of degree and ratio between how many contexts you are good vs. bad at. Of course, numbers are not the only factor, numbers is just the masculine side of the assessment. The feminine assesses by quality and type of context as some contexts can be more important than others at different times and for different people, so the type and value/importance of contexts can also affect the assessment. For example, a poor man can be good in a lot of contexts, but poverty will still limit his ability to actualize his goodness/greatness, so becoming financially capable is what will make him a good man.

Edited February 1, 2023 by Gesundheit2

[uriel]

You already know this, but an adherence to and operating in accordance with what one has discerned as true, even when it’s difficult. This includes both ‘inner’ and outer actions. 

 

[Insane butterfly]

 

[Dioxide2533]

Being a "good man", defined with all these altruistic qualities, and stuff that is good for others...
Such a weird goal to have.

For example, I'm not evil in general, just by nature (like most of us)
But I wish I was. Because it would make life easier.

Edited February 1, 2023 by Dioxide2533

[Dioxide2533]

@Mormegil That's not bad advice but this is not what I meant.

What I meant is, I wish I could be happy actually scamming people. Or directly stealing. Or more on the grey area, selling overpriced stuff through manipulation, marketing, etc. 

If you are able to do these things happily with no remorse, it's easier to get what you want.

[Devin]

Open-minded, considerate, self-sacrificing, hardworking.

Edited February 1, 2023 by Devin

[soos_mite_ah]

23 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

23 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I have one

A good man proactively protects by creating a safe place for the people around him and those he loves. He creates an environment where people can authentically express themselves and be vulnerable by setting up a foundation of empathy and respect for everyone involved 

Nice!

I wanna hear more female views on this topic.

I do feel hesitant to share my views of what makes a good man. I feel that a lot of female feminists feel this way too because sure we can describe toxic masculinity because we often deal with the consequences of that but generally speaking the hesitation comes from the notion of *who am I to define masculinity and manhood when I haven't lived as such* but then because a lot of men lean more orange as opposed to green, you have a bunch of men doubleing down on the age old alpha male narrative. 

That aside, for conversation's sake, here is my perspective. I feel like all of this has to do with being a good person in general but I will talk about this in the point of view of what I perceive to be a healthy form of masculinity. 

Not Stoic 

And what I mean by that is not stoic in the truest sense, because to me that is more of emotional regulation, the ability to detach from things that aren't serving you, and having an emphasis on self reflection. All of that is fine and encouraged. I'm talking about stoicism in the day to day sense that a lot of men tend to internalize which is the whole *men aren't supposed to be emotional* narrative. I think a good man is aware of his emotions, can feel his emotions, can articulate himself (at the very least for communication and connection, creativity is a nice plus), and can regulate his emotions. I think that a lot of men think that men are less emotional than women and I honestly think a lot of that is bs. A lot of men lack self awareness to recognize their emotions, repress them, or have everything come out (including things like stress, sadness, grief etc.) as anger because anger and agression are seen as acceptable and not really like emotions. Cuz lets be real, how many women do you see punch walls when they get upset and how many women will harrass you on the street when they got an answer they don't like?  

Also, rather than being a lone wolf, a good man knows how to deal with people. He might not be everyone's friend but generally speaking he can atleast get along and empathize with most people. He has quality friends and other deep and fulfilling human connections because part of being brave and being a leader is being brave enough to show your emotions and share about yourself and your vulnerabilities, and a large part of being a leader is knowing how to deal and connect with people given the circumstance. And the last part about circumstance is important because trauma dumping at inappropriate times is not healthy for a singular person or the dynamic as a whole. I felt like I needed to make that last point because I feel like men, when they are told to show emotion, somIt etimes they straw man the whole thing and take it to the extreme because there aren't many examples of healthy emotional regulation and expression in a lot of male dominated spaces and often a lot of relationships as a result only go so deep. 

Stable and Consistent

This is something that I look for in both friends and partners regardless of gender. I believe that a good man can consistently follow up with you and make plans, consistently abide by his values and boundaries, and consistently treat people with dignity, empathy, and respect. I believe that this kind of consistency is the thing that makes most people feel safe, secure, and protected. 

Empathetically Honest

I think that I am talking about empathy a lot in general in this post so I'm not going to elaborate on it too much. But while a good man is honest, he is also empathetic and wise enought to know that just because something is honest, that doesn't mean that you need to say it. I mean, we've all dealt with those people who say "no offense" and say the most vile stuff after that or back up awful things they saw to people by justifying it by saying "I'm just being honest." And I think those statements reflect a lack of empathy, self accountability, and awareness, or in some cases plain common sense. And a lot of that also reflects self honesty as well becasue in my mind self accountability and awareness falls under that category. 

Committed to Self Education / Is Open minded 

This is not limitted to getting a formal education or reading a lot, but it can also include putting yourself out there and trying something new or engaging with different people and persepectives. I think that shows strength, bravery, and initiative. This also means taking information from quality sources and generally knowing better than you know being an Andrew Tate fan. 

[Inliytened1]

This is what the rock group Boston has to say on the matter, and I tend to agree.  The song gives me chills.

What does it take to be a man?
What does it take to see
It's all heart and soul
A gentle hand
So easy to want and so hard to give
How can you be a man
'Til you see beyond the life you live?
Oh, what does it take to be a man?

We can be blind, but a man tries to see
It takes tenderness
For a man to be what he can be
And what does it mean
If you're weak or strong?
A gentle feelin'
can make it right or make it wrong
What does it take to be a man?

The will to give and not receive
The strength to say what you believe
The heart to feel what others feel inside
To see what they can see

A man is somethin' that's real
It's not what you are
It's what you can feel
It can't be too late
To look through the hate and see
I know that's what a man can be

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Tom Scholz

 

Edited February 1, 2023 by Inliytened1

[Ulax]

Being principled

[Michael Jackson]

17 hours ago, Willie said:

1. Have a penis.

@Willie Interesting quality.

[puporing]

There's "no man", there's just God dressed up as man and the degree that man realizes this and embodies it, but because of Love, the "man" pretends to be a man for others and meet them where they are outside of "heaven" the place where everyone is God/"Lord in Heaven". 

Edited February 2, 2023 by puporing

[ted73104]

A man who learns to accept and embrace himself, who shows compassion to others, who finds the courage to pursue internal growth, and who is not afraid of being authentic.

[nhoktinvt]

ok there's no man but there are woman right ? maybee

[jimwell]

13 minutes ago, ted73104 said:

A man who learns to accept and embrace himself, who shows compassion to others, who finds the courage to pursue internal growth, and who is not afraid of being authentic.

Yes. Are you ethnically Taiwanese? It seems you are a westerner living in Taiwan. 

[puporing]

2 hours ago, nhoktinvt said:

ok there's no man but there are woman right ? maybee

If you imagine yourself to be one then yeah. But no, the "man" and "woman" are one, you contain both polarities, but with the freewill to see yourself as only one or the other. 

I guess I'm not supposed to talk about this in this section. But that's how I see it these days. I'm much more whole knowing I am both polarities. But hey, I'm a freak so don't listen to me .

Edited February 2, 2023 by puporing

[Nathan]

He must be swift as coursing river...With all the force of a great typhoon!

Edited February 2, 2023 by Nathan