What Makes A Good Man?

[effortlesslumen]

meeting himself 

[Leo Gura]

12 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I have one

A good man proactively protects by creating a safe place for the people around him and those he loves. He creates an environment where people can authentically express themselves and be vulnerable by setting up a foundation of empathy and respect for everyone involved 

Nice!

I wanna hear more female views on this topic.

[at_anchor]

What makes a great man?

The size of his dick, his height, the size of his bank account, his life experiences of course (!), genetics play a role, also "good for who?" has to be asked "his collegues on Wall Street or his customers and world at large?", his sexuality also plays a role, then there is so many other details, like how strong is he, where is he from, what does he do for a living, is he cheating on his wife or someone else, is he a liar that harms others or someone that wishes everyone the best, is he saintly as a rich person cause he definitelly cannot be as a poor one, etc. I'll add to this list later on...

[Emrie]

Do you mean man as in gender or man as in human being? It looks like you mean gender, but I wanna make sure.

In any case, I don't think I could help because I've decided to be non-binary. Also, I was never a good man in the first place.

EDIT: Perhaps we could say a good man always thinks he doesn't know anything.

Edited January 31, 2023 by Emrie
Added extra comment at the end

[Majed]

@Leo Gura a man that follows actualized.org  

[at_anchor]

What makes a grat man?

His social circle and family also make a great man! Without a good social circle and a family that loves him, he's fucked up.

Also, luck plays a huge part. Luck makes a great man.

 

But for someone to be called a great man by me, he would have to be much more than just the above stuff I mentioned.

Of course, sometimes such great men or good men aren't recognized, other times they are called saints. Great men for me are good men. Good men are men that are really good. I don't know, it's hard to say.

[Michal__]

Understanding, integrity, courage, sensible charitability, never falsely brag. Overplaying / underplaying your achievements is poison ..

which comes down to being able to see that your emotions are not yourself. 

I'm not talking about suppressing them, just being the witness.

A real man is prone to no self insight, being successful with women, making a nice living, being well read, .... 

(Having those things doesn't guarantee being a man, since he may have sacrificed his integrity to get there)

And honest about areas where he sucks.

Edited January 31, 2023 by Michal__

[Zion]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

There are great men and then there are fakers and degenerates.

This is your perspective. Fakers of what? 

What is a great man to one, can be just a loser to the next. Perhaps what is considered a great man is a person of strong-standing similar morals to that of the collective he is in. Which then you could arguably say a great man is a man that is morally adaptable/flexible, given his environment. Perhaps a great man is a man that fights for the morals of the collective through which he stands within. Can a man be considered great without strong morals? Especially without strong morals that are similar to that of the community he lives amongst?

A man is great by means of his own meaning of great, & his own meaning of man. 

What do I personally consider a great man? My first thought is that a great man is a person that is the embodiment of strength, wisdom, safety, & creativity. With that wisdom comes a deep understanding of what it's like to live in a biologically-male body, & how that body interprets the world differently than that of any other biological type. With wisdom comes experience, intelligent understanding, & awareness. With strength comes perseverance & determination. With strength also comes a means of power, allowing for safety to encompass those around him. With creativity comes adaptability, curiosity, & inspiration for continued growth. Of course you have to consider that wisdom is so subjective, a thing is only wise by means of whomever is determining the validity of that wisdom's truth. So it is implied that one must have decided understanding of what they see to be true, for them to be wise.

Edited January 31, 2023 by Zion

[AsafTheMagniv]

I would say to be good the more aware you are the gooder you can be - with intelligence and awareness you can see more and deeper options and with the wisdom to back it up to do the gooder choice will make you a very very good man.

most people can be very bad just because they are unaware of the suffering they give to other people or even themselves

[koyadr3]

A man that goes after what he wants

A man that knows who he is 

A man that has certainty and purpose

[LastThursday]

Isn't good just a value judgement?

When you call someone a "good man" it's being said relative to your definition of good; the man is good for you (or the collective in general). The man is good by how his actions and, or, words benefit you or others you care about. This in turns indicates he shares your values and ideals: he's one of you.

You could also call yourself "good" as a man without external validation, because you have a strong sense of what good means to you, and you can see that you stick to your own ideals.

There might be universally agreed "good" traits, such as compassion, helping others, putting yourself out for others, leading in times of strife, handing down knowledge, defending your group, and so on.

In all cases "good" is relative. But there is a general sense of good as being the reduction of suffering.

[Leo Gura]

@LastThursday You're getting too absolutist. There is an important relative matter at hand.

Every young man should ask himself the question: How do I become a good man?

Don't overthink this with your nondual God-logic.

Edited January 31, 2023 by Leo Gura

[r0ckyreed]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Every young man should ask himself the question: How do I become a good man?

What about taking gender out of it and instead ask how can I be a good person? How can I do good? How can I live a good life? How can I live like God?

[Jowblob]

Weird question like you don't know... , it's obviously all about consciousness. The higher your consciousness the better man you are, now you can imagine these qualities yourself. High consciousness/good man have a warm/loving/presence energy around them that you can actually feel. Most questions that you have can be answered with consciousness.

Edited January 31, 2023 by Jowblob

[PenguinPablo]

 

[Leo Gura]

6 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

What about taking gender out of it and instead ask how can I be a good person? How can I do good? How can I live a good life? How can I live like God?

Of course you can generalize it.

But there are some things a man needs to focus on more than women.

[Blackbeat]

3 hours ago, Fred Fulton said:

Love and suffering  - if that’s what you’re asking ?

wtf haha

[mr_engineer]

Someone who doesn't let his emotions dictate his actions, who isn't emotionally reactive. Someone who is able to take a step back, be present and apply his reason and logic and use his judgement in a tough situation. Including emergencies. 

[Thought Art]

What makes a good man?

1. Taking responsibility for their actions

2. Doing the work to overcome their toxic masculinity, shadow, trauma, 

3. whether you lead or follow, you do it with integrity 

4. You respect the consent and boundaries of other men, women and children. 
 

5. You do not abuse others emotionally, physically or sexually

6. You take your education, personal development and spirituality seriously 

7. You respect your community 

8. You act from a place of love, wisdom, intelligence and integrity 

9. You have your shit together: skills, finances, emotional mastery, healing work

10. You are acting in a way to lift up those around you. You create a safe space. 
 

11. You have stage green/ tier 2 view on other people, cultures

12. You are able to self reflect, and improve when you make mistakes 

13. You lead your brothers through the darkness of our current era to higher ground 

14. You are a good partner, father 

15. You have deep roots, and are dependable.

16. You life and act intentionally 

17. You love your brothers and sisters (humanity) 

18. You provide authentic value to the world… you do not scam, cheat and leech

19. You love yourself 

20. Strong sense of boundaries, assertive, strong, high self efficacy and self esteem

21. High emotional, social and adversity intelligence 

22. Ability to balance intuition and critical thinking 

23. Relatively honest with self and others 

24. Forgives and understands the mistakes and shortfalls of his brothers around the world and in difficult circumstances 

25. Sees a positive and constructive vision for the future 

Edited January 31, 2023 by Thought Art

[Basman]

The qualities of a good man are the qualities of a good leader, IMO.

• Proactive
• Self-control
• Integrity
• Caring
• Calmness
• Deduction skills and can navigate the dangers of their environment appropriately
• Non-neediness
• Strives to learn and develop themeselves in some way
• Respectful
• Passion
• Honesty
• Appropriately assertive
• Experience
• Dependability
• Grooming and cleanliness (more of a modern thing perhaps)