My issue with porn and masturbation

[Something Funny]

@Someone here I don't want anything. I didn't ask for advise here. As I said, thank you for concern, I know you really want to help, but I am fine.

59 minutes ago, Someone here said:

As for "I will get a  girlfriend when it's time" part, you are actually comparing yourself to people who have girlfriends. Stop that.

What is that even supposed to mean? Stop assuming stuff about me.

Edited January 31, 2023 by Something Funny

[Someone here]

@Something Funny OK no worries. best wishes.

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, LastThursday said:

I am especially bothered when I watch all kind of degrading and humiliating porn.

So don't watch that kind of porn.

You can find quality porn rather than such trash.

I've never watched degrading porn. Not interested.

Edited January 31, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura well, that's the issue, I can't. 

Whenever I get back to watching porn I tell myself that I am going to watch just quality porn. And there is porn like that, even for free on pornhub.

But it's always a downward spiral from there to me getting into a really bad place mentally and ending up watching humiliating jois, or cheating porn, or cuckold porn, or some other shit like that, and feeling awful and wanting to "just die already" in the meantime. Every single time it ends like this, with me laying in bed and crying thinking what the fuck is wrong with me.

So I've came to the conclusion that it's better for me to just quit it altogether. 

[Leo Gura]

19 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Every single time it ends like this, with me laying in bed and crying thinking what the fuck is wrong with me.

Jesus

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura XD, thank you Leo ?

[bazera]

@Something Funny How many times have you tried quitting? And what was the longest duration that you abstained from it? 

[Something Funny]

@bazera too many to count. I did 30 days at some point. 

[Leo Gura]

@Something Funny You might need to do some therapy type of work to explore why you are attracted to such toxic stuff. It is some mind of self-sabotaging behavior.

[bazera]

@Something Funny

Quote

I did 30 days at some point

How did you manage to do that? Sheer brute force?

And what made you become a daily user again, after 30 days of being off of it?

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura it's hard to find a good therapist in general, let alone someone to whom I would be able to open up about all of that. 

Personally, think I am attracted to it because it's so wrong. Because it goes against all of my values. Because it triggers my fears and insecurities. 

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It is some mind of self-sabotaging behavior.

Yeah, no shit, haha.

But to be honest, I think I am done with it for good this time and am not coming back. Lets hope this will be the case.

 

[Something Funny]

@bazera yeah, basically brute force. Plus I had a friend as an accountability partner.

I fell back because this is the wrong approach. 

The thing I plan to do now is building a healthy, conscious relationship with my sexuality and masturbation without porn.

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

it's hard to find a good therapist in general, let alone someone to whom I would be able to open up about all of that.

Well, you could just sit down and journal it out.

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura I know, I am doing this, it just takes time.

[Chives99]

@Something Funny u shouldn't feel like it's wrong to have kinks, I had a housemate that liked watersports and toe sucking, I like hair myself, kinks are common 

 

[Something Funny]

@Chives99 it's not a kink. It's not something that I enjoy or would like to have in my life.

[Leo Gura]

44 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@Leo Gura I know, I am doing this, it just takes time.

Good, keep at it.

[bazera]

@Something Funny

Quote

The thing I plan to do now is building a healthy, conscious relationship with my sexuality and masturbation without porn.

That's a great plan. Probably the reason you have that addiction is that in childhood you got hooked on that shit unconsciously and you just developed a habit, and it's just a mental and emotional habit, that's it. Some people are more likely to get addicted to that because it was an emotional coping mechanism growing up.

The hardest thing with building healthy masturbation habits will be that in the beginning phases, until your mind is conditioned to having porn around when jerking off, you'll probably have urges after a porn-free masturbation session to look at it in the next one. But that will become less often once you re-condition your mind after a couple of months. So, go for it.

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura I will, thank you (this time for real )

[Something Funny]

1 minute ago, bazera said:

you'll probably have urges after a porn-free masturbation session to look at it in the next one.

Yes, this is something I've definitely experienced in the past. But I am really hopeful and set on making it this time.