Why Selflessness?

[Zion]

Why be empathetic? 

What are the pros & cons?

It's an ironic question, I know, given the fact that I'm seeking perspectives of others on a question that I would otherwise answer myself if it were not for my interest & ability to empathize with others. My question however is; "To what degree is it wise to be empathetic to others?" "How necessary are high levels of empathy in a collective?" "What is the difference between empathy, selfishness, & selflessness? 

Looking back on it, it seems as though any time I've been empathetic to someone, its been for personal gain in the long run. So was I truly empathetic? Is there even such a thing as absolutely true empathy? It seems, similar to many others I've talked to, that I manipulate others in such a way that it is seen as empathy, when in reality it's a facade/societal-mask that I put up to eventually gain something out of selfishness. Even if it's as simple as helping an elderly neighbor with some groceries. I'm doing that to paint a nice picture in the eye of society & now in-turn making myself feel good, but if I gained nothing from that interaction, I wouldn't care to help; as it doesn't appeal to my survival needs of selfishness. What does this say? Perhaps empathy shouldn't be something to flaunt, but rather to distribute wisely. There is a wisdom in segregating your empathy to those things that appeal to your life values & standards.  

It's funny, you may see this as a very different perspective, given that I am basically asking; "How can I use empathy for selfish gain in a way that appeals to my egocentric needs?" but I am also asking; "What is the alternative to this?" "Is true empathy actually an absolute truth & if so; how is one to truly be empathetic, because I'm tired of 'acting' for the sake of the collective." Of course I'm tired, the ego is inherently selfish, so it doesn't want to keep wasting its time needlessly empathizing with others, especially in a society & culture that isn't often very cognizant of it's own emotional, & overall mental well-being. Of course you could also argue that I am not truly being empathetic because if I were, I would truly understand where everyone's at in life & I wouldn't feel the need to ask how to distribute my empathy. But that's exactly my point; is true empathy possible? 

Granted if it is possible, I'd admittedly struggle to get to that point, if I so wanted to. Because clearly I've learned some childhood pattern of thinking thats contributed to my now understanding of empathy differently than that of others.

Or perhaps I'm confusing empathy with something else. Feel free to respond with your thoughts & ideas, I'd love to hear some other perspectives (for the manipulative gain of my ever-growing self-understanding known as the ego. But of course, the goal is to psychologically trick the ego into dismantling it's current way of function in order to later fully understand itself.)

[ucan99]

Nice thougths on emphaty. You have one more post on empathy that I read. Empathy was something I did not care to longly contemplate on before. Now you pushed me a bit into that:)

[puporing]

I don't recommend forcing it (in the long term), it's really about doing the healing work on yourself first, and awakening to your true Self as Love and the One/Infinity and you transform into that identity in your lived reality/consciousness.

So the question is more of what would motivate you to awaken and live from that perspective? Often it's that the "old self" is simply outgrown and it's your time to transform your consciousness.

Forcing selflessness when you don't truly feel this way might actually prolong the process of this transformation.

But hey, you have eternity .

Edited February 8, 2023 by puporing

[mr_engineer]

On 1/30/2023 at 4:31 AM, Zion said:

Looking back on it, it seems as though any time I've been empathetic to someone, its been for personal gain in the long run. So was I truly empathetic?

Empathy is selfish. You are getting to know information about someone by putting yourself in their shoes and asking them deep questions about them to get to know them. 

On 1/30/2023 at 4:31 AM, Zion said:

It's funny, you may see this as a very different perspective, given that I am basically asking; "How can I use empathy for selfish gain in a way that appeals to my egocentric needs?" but I am also asking; "What is the alternative to this?" "Is true empathy actually an absolute truth & if so; how is one to truly be empathetic, because I'm tired of 'acting' for the sake of the collective."

Empathy is the recognition of the other as a part of the self. So, even though it is egocentric, if you're doing it correctly, your 'ego' will also include their ego. This is how it can be used to get along and create peace. 

This, honestly, is the answer to the question 'Why be empathetic?' To resolve conflicts and create peace. Again, selfish desire. But, if you're going to ask a question like 'Why be empathetic', you're looking for a selfish answer. 

HTH!! 

[Rafael Thundercat]

Today I had a coffee with a guy that was asking coins in the parking lot, I was with someone in the car and this person said " Oh shit there is coming that guy to ask coins" and I said " let the guy alone, dont give coins if you dont want" 

Me and the person were going to different places so I felt a curious instinct to go talk with the guy, his name I came to know is Bruno. So I told him " Hey do you want to drink a coffee? 

And he said yes, and we had a normal talk and took our paths. I said one of these days if I am around I come to him to have a time again. I dont feel I was emphatic no more that when I drink a coffee with my relatives. The thing is the intention behind the action, the subtle feeling of "oh yess I am a good person". For what use this feeling have? If you ask a dude in your dreams to drink a coffee with you, would you feel rigtheous about your deed?